My husband and I have been married for 18 years and together for almost 22 years. As we have gone through our relationship, our sex life is not the same as it once was. My husband has expressed concern that we do not ever have sex but maybe once every 6 weeks. With that being said, I do believe that my husband wants some action, however; I do not have any libido due to all the health issues I am going with and have been facing the last 5 years.
Anyways, I get really cold at night and will often find myself wanting to snuggle into his warm body. He definitely finds this as an opportunity to try to put on a move. A little bit of background here: I can easily fall asleep in less than 30 seconds, it doesn't take me long at all.
For the longest time, my husband has acted like an anaconda when we cuddle. The annoying part is that he pretends to be unconscious during the whole thing. I will be mostly asleep and he will begin to squeeze my body with his whole body just like breath work. I can literally anticipate when the next large full body squeeze is coming based on the amount of time it's been since the last full body squeeze. This has definitely made it to where I don't even want to cuddle with him anymore. In fact I tried to stay as far away from him as possible at night so that he doesn't feel me move because anytime he feels my body, twitch or move he takes it as an invitation to put on the move.
There are other times when our legs will be intertwined and I will begin to feel him press his legs together to put pressure on my leg that is inside his legs. This becomes extremely uncomfortable and I want to move my legs and every time I have had enough of his anaconda squeezing I try to roll away from his grasp and he always "wakes up" in a huff, exclaiming. "What the f*** oh my God what is going on?" And it's always him mad at me for not accepting his advances(the vibes)
It really gets under my skin because I know that he's not actually asleep and that he's squeezing the crap out of me to try to get a reaction for sex, but this is definitely not the way to go about it. I feel like I'm being tricked every time we cuddle because it always happens this way. I don't think there's ever been one single time in our relationship that I can remember that he has not done this to me. Either it's been that long since we've had sex or he's always been this silent sleeping, sex, anaconda. I'm just so tired of it in more ways than one and even though I know that I can do a better job by having sex more frequently with my husband of 18 years, I just don't know how much is enough to keep him from squeezing me while I'm trying to sleep.
There is nothing wrong with the sex it's just not something I ever think about. I've tried explaining to him that with all the health stuff I have going on that. I just feel like a sick little kid in need of some love and care and support and sex never comes to mind when you feel like a lost, confused, and scared little kid.