tldr do i stay get married for him and then get divorced and figure my life out then or just leave now?
Weve been together for 3 years got engaged within 9 months culturally this is normal, hes an immigrant from my familys country so it all made sense. but for the majority of our relationship i found out he had been lying to me on multiple occasions. he was online paying for OF and possibly meetng escorts im not sure how many, i know he met one he claims before we met but got an std 10 months(days after my birthday) into our relationship and tried to hide it from me. then a year later i found out about the OF and escort sites and then a year later i found out he was still on these sites and then also made a dating app with photos i took of him some from us going to wedding venues and that he made this when i was travelng the year prior and i found this right before another long travel and when i returned i saw he ordered a mail std test under a fake name. he claims this was from the first year of our relationship 2022 bc he didnt get all the std tests done during that time, bullshit right? basically i have no self respect and continued trying to make this work partially bc we are engaged and i felt so embarrassed to leave after family knew. i also was in therapy all last year working on the trauma from him lying just to catch him again and it completely crushed me. i literally feel like im nothing this was all at the end of last year. hes claimed now since ive returned from my long travel hes changed and will never lie or hurt me again.
this year his brother past and hes recently im upset about this again bc we also arent being intimate and im going crazy so ive been asking to get a therpist to work on this bc i cant handle it and bc of the current situation in the states i feel pressured to get married and it makes me sick that im feeling so hurt but feel like i have to do this. i want marriage to be a lifelong commitment and he knows that rand claims we will get better.
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currently he telling me he doesn’t have the energy to work on serious issues that are causing me a lot of stress and pain because he is stressed and him sibling passed away earlier this year but he expects me to get married legally so he can apply for a green card. It feels wrong that he will tell me he doesn’t have energy for our relationship but expects me to do something so big. Actually going against my moral beliefs of what a marriage means knowing this will probably end in divorce but they claim we will work on the relationship later in the future. Do I just take their work or what.
I AM GOING CRAZY. I have no self worth at this point, no good friends, no family support. i feel completely alone and worried for my sanity. i also dont make enough money to move out on my own.