We have been together since late 2018…
My ex and I had 2 children together and my ex and my husband had an extremely rough and very dramatic start, so they don’t get along, at all. It’s annoying but manageable.
Recently, my ex was diagnosed with heart failure- his ejection fraction is 10%. He wears a life vest, & is on meds at home now- but he is only 32 years old and Sunday when I picked the kids up his mom met me in the porch to tell me he was doing pretty poor… his edema is still an issue, he’s pale, sleeping way too much, having a hard time catching his breathe, and he doesn’t have insurance. The possibility of him passing away in the next year is pretty likely, and our kids are 11 and 8.
When I got home and talked with my husband about it, expressed my fears, brought up how I could navigate this with the kids, etc.. he brought up something that downright disgusted me. He said “look at the bright side, they’ll be better off when he does” and had the ugliest face when he said it, and then started to share a “list” of why they’d be better off with him passing away. I ended the conversation and got upset because my kids lives are about to change forever… I understand my ex has been an asshole on several occasions but he loves his kids, the kids love him, and he is a decent father. He falls short sometimes on promises, but he always shows up for them and the kids adore him- especially our 8 year old son. We split our weeks in half with the kids, he’s extremely involved in their lives.
I cannot get over this and I feel like I’ve seen a side of him I’ve never known was there, and if I saw it before we would not have gotten married. These are children, who are going to lose their father, and it’s not funny, they’re not better off without him- this will devastate them, and I cannot believe he would say something like that and claim to love these kids. I just don’t feel like you can love them and say something so ugly… he has not apologized, or anything.
I am certainly venting here. I’m nervous to tell anybody close to me this because it would change their perspective of my husband and I don’t know that I’m ready for that? Idk.
I feel differently about him since that conversation and I don’t know if it will ease up.
Or if I want it to even?? I feel betrayed and it feels so crappy coming from him.