TL;DR: Been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We get on well and share similar values, but he struggles to express emotions and often makes me feel uncared for or like an afterthought. He says he’s trying, but it feels forced. Not sure if I’m being too sensitive or if we’re just not emotionally compatible.
I started seeing my boyfriend nearly a year ago now and I’d say it’s going fairly well. We have similar likes and dislikes, similar values and slightly different outlooks on life that ultimately compliment each other. I’m a bit more open minded, creative and free spirited, whereas he’s much more logical and practical.
The difficulty is, he’s not very emotionally mature. He resorts to humour a lot and struggles to express his emotions fully. This sometimes makes me feel like we’re more like friends than partners and I’m not cared for or wanted by him. Just as an example, I’ll go over to his house (45 min drive) and then he’ll go out with his friends for hours. I don’t want to stop him from doing things he enjoys but I just wish there was a bit more thought there for me.
When I bring it up, he usually says it didn’t even occur to him — and I genuinely believe he doesn’t mean harm. But it often leaves me feeling uncared for or like I’m not a priority. We’ve had a few conversations about it, but I think he sees me as overly sensitive or needy, and he’s expressed that he feels like he “can’t do anything right.”
He is trying to make changes, and I can see the effort — but it still feels a bit forced or unnatural. I guess I’m torn. The emotional side of a relationship is really important to me, but we do get along well otherwise.
Am I overreacting? Or is this a sign that we’re just not emotionally compatible long-term?