I (29M) was in a relationship that began 7 months ago. Over time, we formed a deep emotional connection. She (28F) genuinely loved and cared for me. I became her emotional anchor as she felt safe, secure, and happy with me, which made this even harder.
But from the beginning, I noticed some key differences. She didn't have clear life goals or ambitions. I thought I could overlook that, and I told myself that love and emotional care were enough to sustain a relationship. But as time passed, I realized I was wrong. I deeply value growth, ambition, and learning from a partner, and in this relationship, I felt like I wasn’t learning or growing. I felt stuck. Neither did she have any hobbies, nor did she spend her time productively. She wasted a big chunk of time watching reels, and when I told her it's not good for her, she asked why I had a problem with that. She even said that she can do whatever she wants, which gives her peace.
We also had major differences in belief systems. She's a firm believer in God, karma, and destiny. I'm not. I respect faith, but it led to awkward arguments and moments of discomfort. We just weren’t aligned in how we approached life, decisions, or even accountability.
Despite all this, I didn’t end things early. I kept dragging it because I wanted it to work. I thought maybe we’d adjust, or that love would fix it. Now I feel terrible. She’s heartbroken and blaming herself, especially since she’s been abandoned in past relationships too. She keeps saying she won’t be able to trust again. Hearing that broke me even more.
I feel awful. I feel like I failed her. But I also know that staying just out of guilt would’ve been more harmful. I just don’t know if I handled this the right way. I never wanted to hurt her, but I couldn’t keep pretending either.
Did I make the right choice? How do I deal with this guilt?
TL;DR: Ended a relationship with someone who loved me deeply. I initially ignored big differences – no life goals, opposing belief systems, and thinking love would be enough. Over time, I realized it wasn’t sustainable. Now she’s heartbroken and blaming herself, and I feel overwhelmed with guilt. Not sure if I did the right thing or how to cope.