This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Not strictly dating related, but have any guys ever hit their partner’s IUD during sex? We tried a new position yesterday and I felt something distinctly metallic which was extremely uncomfortable and still makes me cross my legs thinking about it. She says it was probably just the string but I know what I felt
Anyone have any uplifting success stories to share? Feeling discouraged these days!
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I saw a thread earlier on another sub asking women 30+ what had changed in their approach to dating from their 20s. Many said their standards had got higher or they set firmer boundaries.
There were so many men in the thread saying how women’s value is in their youth and looks and women in their 30s should be _lowering_ their standards not raising them.
It’s just so disheartening, I turn 34 next week and a truly feel like I’ve missed the boat.
There’s this misconception that single women in their 30s spent their 20s getting “ran through” – I was in a LTR with a man I loved. Unfortunately he became an alcoholic during lockdown and nothing I did could stop that/help him. So I became single at 31 and everything had changed since I was last single.
I’m not sure how well known Irish singer CMAT is, but in one of her songs are the lyrics
“You haven’t looked at me the same
Since I turned twenty seven
Where goes my potential?
Oh, she’s up in Heaven
Rest in peace to any chance of me
Dating within the station
And no doctor or Pope can grant diagnosis
I’ve peeled through the forums
And there’s no cure for old sis”
And god I feel that.
My career, my sense of humour, my kindness, my intelligence, my hobbies, my ambitions, the nice cakes I can bake, my loyalty, my helpfulness, my inquisitiveness, it all counts for nothing because I can’t sum that up in 5 pictures on an online profile that most men aren’t even seeing because they’ve filtered out women my age.
This is a recurring story about a bus conductor that I have a crush on. When I took the bus from our place I was looking all dolled up and he wasn’t on the bus but only appeared when I was going home, looked like a fried potato carrying a watermelon, some vinegar and bags of cat food, looking frumpy af 😭😭😭
Feeling disheartened. I’m 37F, Muslim woman, looking for marriage,. I matched with someone a couple of weeks ago, on the upper end of my age filter. We had a phone call and we spoke about dealbreakers and basic values and we seemed aligned. He ended the call by saying: not to state the obvious but i’m looking for marriage and not here to waste time or mess about.
We met, and we got on well, and at the end of the first meet, he told me that he would be keen to see me again and take me for dinner. We messaged a few times, he said he wasn’t a big texter and then met again about two weeks later initiated by him.
We met last Sunday, had lunch and a walk, and he spoke very candidly about some personal stuff. I thought we were making an authentic connection. But then this week, he just goes distant. I suggested a call and he agreed but messaged at a super late time. I tried calling the next day, and no answer but he didn’t then message or acknowledge the missed call.
I messaged on Saturday, to ask if he was still interested, and he’s just left me on read. Ghosted by a man aged 47. Especially considering someone who went out of his way to say he wouldn’t waste my time.
If he didn’t like me, he could have just said we’re not compatible, lets leave it. It doesn’t take much to be courteous. I’m feel really disappointed as he’s the first man I’ve been excited about in a really long time. I went through heartbreak at the end of last year so have only gotten myself back on the scene, and it just puts you off. Its not worth putting yourself out there.
I hit the end of Hinge today after about a year and a half. Went on 4 dates from there, 3 of them first dates, all well within the period where I was a new user and the algorithm was skewed in my favor. Feeling pretty defeated.
I think the only big app left I haven’t tried is Feeld, but the impression I have is that it’s more kink-oriented and I’m pretty vanilla. Maybe it’s worth a shot anyway?
I wish I enjoyed *anything* that’d let me meet people irl.
I’m kicking it 2020 style.
By which I mean I had a dating thing planned this week and have caught Covid.
I’ve (36f) been hanging out with this guy (35m) for the last two months (casually dating & sleeping together). A couple of weeks ago he seemed to have a little freak out and pull back slightly- this was right before he went on a family trip to his brother’s wedding. At the time, he told me that he doesn’t like ultimatums and that he likes what we’ve been doing, etc. it was weird bc that was completely random – I also don’t want ultimatums and am not having any of those convos with him. I expressed to him that I’m also happy with what we’re doing and don’t want any pressure. Since he came back, he’s been much more coupley than before. Opening up a lot about his family, been much more cuddly, touching more, and just generally more affectionate in his language, etc.
it’s confusing me more now because I had this kind of compartmentalized in my brain as just casual and fun but the way he’s acted for the last 1.5 weeks makes me wonder if he actually does want more, but I also don’t really know how to have the conversation since he recently seemed very skittish around the topic (even though he was the only one bringing it up and talking about it)
Deleted hinge after giving it a go on and off starting in September 2024. I have been on 5 first dates in that time and I have my 6th (and final one for now, I just really need a break from dealing with new people) tomorrow.
For this one, I’m already going into it pretty annoyed–it’s taken us a 3 weeks to meet because he got sick the second week (which was our original date week) and I was out of town the following week. Time tomorrow is confirmed but still no details/location and I’m frustrated. Once I start feeling like I want to fall back or issue warnings I want to tap out altogether, but I’m trying not to do so. He’s been really communicative and open with me but I also feel at the very least, if I’m not cutting it off, I need to express somehow that I am out of patience.
Has anyone ever navigated having to communicate to someone what your “planning style is” early into dating?
Isopod True Story Time (cuz you guys seem to like these).
This is about two friends of mine. Let’s call them Jim and Pam. Jim has been bullying Pam’s brother since high school, and Pam fucking *hated* Jim. They lived on the same street and kinda had to deal with each other.
One day, Jim decided he was going to be a prick and lob a snowball at Pam’s head as she walked by. This led to a heated argument. I think he was 22 and she was 19 at this point.
And then they started making out. Right there, on the spot. They had sex later that same day.
Jim and Pam’s brother actually became genuine friends, and Jim and Pam eventually bought a condo together. They were adorable together; she was this assertive little firecracker, and he was this doting gentleman who used words to melt her heart.
Humans are weird. Especially when the hormones are involved.
They stayed together for like a decade, but she had a lifelong illness and sadly passed away recently. They had broken up before that point; I never found out why. Still – I think it’s a wild story, and just goes to show that love can bloom in the weirdest places. People change and mature.
What tolerance do you have for divorce complications?
Would you give someone a second chance if they broke up with you due to unforeseen fallout from an ex/divorce?
My ex broke up with me due to drama in her personal life and fallout from a legally complicated separation from her ex. She withdrew and became cagey and told me I was insecure when I became confused and tried to work things out with her. She said things were legally complicated with her foreign ex and she needed to be single to sort her life out. We tried to stay friendly for our work and mutual friends but I caught her lying to me about spending time with him. She didn’t need to lie to me, we were broken up, I was just curious and expected simple truth. But even after breaking up she still tried to give me breadcrumbs of affection and future reconnection, so I told her no contact. Now, a year later she’s trying to reconnect and making it seem she’s been single and just working.
Spent an absolutely blissful weekend together, neither of us wanted me to go home. I deleted my dating account, he paused his and deleted the app. In the past I’d let anxiety dim the new relationship glow but those old habits were all but eliminated in therapy, I feel very secure. Obviously it’s still super early, anything could happen, but I’m optimistic and excited to see where we go.
Ultimately this is variable I know, but I’d like to get some opinions on this:
Been seeing my girlfriend for close but not quite 4 months yet (we see each other about once a week). I’m looking to introduce her to my sister who just recently moved to our area. My sister got a dog a few months ago and my gf loves dogs, so that’s a factor.
Is this time frame too early to introduce her to a sibling? I’m quite serious about this relationship and imo this is one way to show this intent (plus I think my gf and sister will get along well). My gf introduced me to her mother (who she lives at home with) and the three of us had dinner earlier this month, so I don’t think this is a massive leap on my part.