just noticed a big contrast dad spaces online are welcoming especially to first time dads who don’t know what they are doing good advice without all the drama
but mum spaces? it gets wild fast someone misread a comment it feels like a whole overthought situation for nothing..
why’s there much different energy between the two
7 comments
Men tend to keep things practical and problem-focused, especially when talking to other men. So dad groups will lean toward solutions instead of emotional processing.
Mom spaces revolve around identity, pressure, emotion and comparison.
Dad spaces create a more playful ignorance, practical advice and “no judgment” energy.
Contrary to belief, men fight argue compete etc mostly for women or to get better houses jobs etc. to up our chances of getting a woman. Once your older and esp. got a woman and at stage of dad you have won haha we go back to our natural normal state of being nice chill peeps…
Women well… They are a whole lot of complexity that even women don’t seem to get and I think if they did they would dislike themselves and other women and I think they don’t want to accept that so it’s just a whole big mess of non logical judgemental micromanaging need for control whilst wanting to be submissive whilst feeling they also have to be dominant and I don’t know the politics of women is the insane, puts trump and other world leaders almost into a sane box…
I love women, they are amazing and great and us men need you but you guys are whole bunch of cray cray
Because men drink more beer. We talk baseball, golf, far up one’s noses you need to pick for clean perfection.
Women yak about families, asshole husbands, and associated drama.
I’d be tense too if I had to listen to some bitchy yenta complain about little Johnny’s stained underwear all night!
I feel like the internet is just in general – in a genderless way – a place where people with opinions that aren’t really utterable in real world, get to vent all their insecurities, frustrations, and weird authoritarian fantasies.
They’re not that different in the circle of friends that we keep.
Because we aren’t competing with each other. We genuinely want to see the next person succeed and avoid the pitfalls we had to face.
Historically- and still in many many aspects, women are considered the primary caregivers. And historically and generally, especially on Reddit, when women do something well, it’s ignored. When a single woman makes a mistake, suddenly all women are responsible.
So, the answer is sexism combined with confirmation bias. You’ll have all sorts of women in mom subs: conservative, liberal, hippies, whatever, and they’re all considered primary caregivers in the eyes of society. In dads subs, you have *engaged* fathers. They care, they specifically sought out this space to learn from likeminded men. The deadbeats, the assholes – they simply don’t seek out spaces like that. So the men that do are basically considered heroes for doing the bare minimum.
But for women, the societal punishment of failing as a mom is so high that all sorts of women will confer in that one space, allowing for more conflict because of the wider range of people, and the higher stakes involved.