So right around 6 months ago the father of my child (due to be induced in a week) battered me pretty bad and threatened to kill our baby, raised his fist to punch my stomach but I shielded it the best I could in a fetal like position. I begged him to just let me leave, he wouldn’t at first but eventually I did get away and went straight to the police department and pressed charges, they took photos of the bruising on my arms legs face and neck and kept the clothes he had ripped by slinging me around, as evidence. I also got an IPO (restraining order) immediately.
I didn’t find out until after I was already pregnant that he was a meth addict. I don’t think he was using when we first got together but he may have been. I’m naive when it comes to the world of addiction and drugs. But as time went on, he turned violent and paranoid and things just got very strange especially while we would text while I was at work…like he would be the man that I loved one minute then accusing me of cheating and calling me every name in the book, the next minute. Being very controlling and wanting me in his sight immediately. Then by the next day he’d be back to being loving, apologetic, gentle and “normal”.
He had went to rehab once before while we were still together after he had an outburst and I told him I was scared of him and didn’t want to be with him anymore, he apologized and told me it was because of the drugs and that he would go to rehab and he didn’t want to lose me and that he would call his dad for help and accountability, which he did. But only stayed in rehab for like a week then said he left because he didn’t want to lose me but promised he would work on himself and stay off drugs. That did not last.
His charges are pretty serious, Strangulation Class C Felony, Kidnapping Class B Felony, Domestic Assault, and I think there were more but I don’t have the paperwork handy and can’t remember exactly. His bond is 25k, my attorney said he could get up to 20 years in prison and with me being pregnant with his child makes the judge less likely to offer leniency.
All that being said he has had a warrant out for his arrest for the past 6 months and has not been arrested yet. He has not reached out to me himself, However, his dad messaged me recently and said that my baby’s father wanted him to let me know that he was in rehab and that he would be there for the rest of the year but that he wanted to talk to me if I was willing.
This did violate the IPO and I did report it. However, with me giving birth in a week I’m torn because I do want to believe that he could be a good father and partner if he is sober, and I do think at one point he did love me and want to have the baby with me. But my attorney did say any modifications to the IPO or contact with him would hurt my case against him and he is most likely trying to manipulate me for that very reason.
Any advice as to whether I should hold onto hope that he does stick with sobriety and maybe he will want to be a healthy part of our child’s life, or if I should just leave him in the past due to the risk of him falling into addiction and becoming a danger to my baby and I again?
TL;DR : Was abused while my baby’s father was in active addiction, and he threatened my babies life. Now avoiding felony charges by attending non court ordered Rehab. I’m due to give birth in a week and he has used his dad to reach out to me to say he wants to talk to me.
Any advice is welcome. TIA