I (F50) have been arguing with the husband (M57), married 10 years, for much of the day regarding his lack of contribution to our domestic duties. We have no kids, four cats, we both work full time jobs.
It's been a day of bickering and by tonight, I was in a pissy mood and just wanted to.go to sleep. I ask him to help me put clean sheets on the bed (he sleeps here too) and he then fiddled around in the kitchen for another 20 minutes before wandering into the bedroom, by which point I was almoat done making the bed. So I told him that if he won't help make the bed, he's not sleeping in it. He could sleep on the sofa or he could put sheets on the guest bed and sleep there.
More arguing ensued, him adamantly refusing to sleep elsewhere. Some name calling occurred (him to me) and finally he told me to go sleep at my mother's. I told him to go sleep at his instead.
She died 18 months ago. He walked out after that.
I immediately texted him and said that I crossed the line and what I said was cruel and I'm sorry. I know he read the text, but he didn't respond. He's sleeping on the sofa now and I'm in bed, but certainly not sleeping.
I feel like a complete a-hole. I would have trouble forgiving someone if they said something so awful to me. How do I get him to forgive what I might not myself?
TL;DR: I said something horribly cruel.to.my husband while we were fighting. I apologized, but I don't think it will be enough for him to forgive me.