We’ve been together for 8 years, and until now things have been stable. Recently, we had a big argument over text while she was away. It started as a disagreement about attending an event but spiraled into a deeper conflict about our different values around obligations and support in the relationship.
Towards the end of the text fight, it became pretty clear she was planning on ending things with me. When we finally talked in person, she confirmed that she had actually started planning the breakup: looking at places to live, figuring out the admin side of a split, and (in her words) making me out to be the villain in her head to make it easier to leave. After we talked, I was more open and accommodating than she expected, so she decided to stay and work on things.
But now I feel weirdly distant and resentful. I can’t get over how quickly she was willing to end things after 8 years, especially over something that started as a disagreement about a single event. I’m struggling to trust her or feel as close, and I can’t tell if this is something we can bounce back from or if it’s a sign it’s really over.
TL;DR:
Long-term girlfriend of 8 years almost broke up with me during an argument about values and obligations. She changed her mind after we talked in person, but now I feel distant, resentful, and unsure if our relationship can recover. Has anyone been through this and come out the other side?