Women who have KNOWINGLY pursued an engaged/married person, why did you do it?
July 26, 2025
Women who have KNOWINGLY pursued an engaged/married person, why did you do it?
25 comments
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Ego. I just wanted to prove to myself that I *could* sleep with whoever I wanted. It didn’t work because she goes through his phone 🤷🏻‍♀️
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[deleted]
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Did it once, never again, absolutely would say my behaviour was vile and feel a lot of guilt about it. Incoming longpost because my god there was a lot that went into it, not simple at all.
Truthfully, it was never about him. Or her. It was about me and my ex. I had just been dumped by my First Love, who I saw myself with for the rest of my life… Still, to this day, my greatest and most passionate romance. And he moved on within two weeks and I felt so alone, so replaced, so unworthy, so unvaluable, so discardable, so rejected……..
And then someone who would make my ex wildly insecure was right there. There’s a whole massive backstory on how said someone took advantage of me (he was my healthcare professional and knew full well I was very damaged, broken, traumatised, and only 23 with her first relationship down)…. But I gave the guy no-strings head and then relentlessly posted about it on social media where I was sure my ex would see it, to rub it in his nose that not only was I giving another man the thing he loved the most about me, the guy was so much hotter than him.
Aka two people used each other. A very-much-taken and very-much-cheating healthcare professional violated both his relationship and Code of Ethics to use a patient for easy BJs… And a very-much-heartbroken woman used him to spite her ex out of her own pain.
I can honestly say not once did she enter my brain, even though I knew she existed. I was so hell-bent on destroying my ex that she was collateral damage. I didn’t feel vindication “I tempted your man away” because I don’t think like that, and I didn’t even want that. She was just *not in my periphery* at any point because the only one who was…. Was my ex.
And then when I saw a photo of her, I had a complete mental breakdown as the guilt ate away at me. Confided in the wrong person. That wrong person then screenshotted our convo and sent it to all of the healthcare’s friends list. Healthcare professional then called me up and said I was to say I had made it all up, I was a stalker with an infatuation, none of it was true, because his reputation was on the line. Thankfully I never did that, I couldn’t, I vomited at the potential of that. It simply slipped away and I never had to worry about any of that ever again.
—
The above is honestly a cautionary tale of how dark revenge can go, and the feelings of spite. How tunnel vision to hurt someone who hurt you, can end up rippling out at others and involve people who had nothing to do with it, but still end up fucked over because of it. Neither the healthcare professional or his significant knew me, knew my ex, but their existence ended up mixed up in my breakup. Which is……. Not good, to say the least.
[removed]
well for starters, i was barely 20, he was in his thirties, and my boss. he made it seem possible he would be leaving her for me.
shockingly, he did not leave her me.
did i mention she was pregnant too?
fucking what was i doing. reality slowly crept into my brain, and i realized he wasn’t going to leave her, and i was not special. i told him i was done sneaking around, he didn’t even push back about it.
and what a scum bag he was. hes got another kid with her now too. bet i wasnt the first or the last for him.
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Because I’m not responsible for other people’s monogamy.
I was really young, 20, and he was older and “sophisticated.” I was a romantic and thought he loved me. It all seemed terribly exciting and forbidden. When his wife found out, she told me I wasn’t the first, and I wouldn’t be the last. As soon as his wife caught us, he ghosted me (as he should). Now that I have been married for a long time with grown children, I realize what I did was so messed up, and I feel so bad for that part of my past. I didn’t understand then what marriage and family really meant.
I was young, naive and stupid. I was prob like 21 and one was 30 at the time and the other 40. Not my most proud moments. I guess I blame it on liking the attention and being naive. I was 21, would drink a lot and would be spending a lot of time around them. The 30 year old (he mighta been 32 I don’t remember) I actually didn’t know anything about him cause he came in with his friends and I genuinely didn’t know he was ENGAGED!!! (Or let alone in a relationship) So I was def misled but because of me, it never went anywhere too far other than flirting, hanging out and messaging. The older one was super shitty on my part cause his wife helped me a lot with stuff back then. He was grimy and was just obsessed with trying to be around me and I guess it worked idk. To this day, I still say that’s one of my biggest regrets and can’t believe I did something like that. It was my own personal issues I didn’t work through at that age and unfortunately other people suffered for it.
I just didn’t care. I wanted who I wanted when I wanted and I knew I could.
Thankfully I was very young and got the mental help I needed. Still feel guilty about the ones that already happened before then, though.
When his wife came into the office and when she went to leave, she shook his hand. She’d have been better off to just say bye. I didn’t see it. My other co-workers told me about it. Then he told me. So we started texting, and it went from there. It wasn’t that I pursed him. It just happened. He was amazing in bed, the sweetest guy, and he was just my type. I still miss him, and it’s been 5 years since I’ve seen him or talked to him. I know when married men cheat they lie to both their spouse and their mistress. But I really do miss him. We were great together. But I ended it because he was married. I know, messed up logic, but I wanted more than he could offer while being married.
The only thing a girl likes more than being told she’s pretty? Being told she’s prettier than other girls.
Grew up very poor watching mom in abusive relationships and i was just looking for a quick out and escape from my life. No love, just an immediately different life with no struggles…i should add, i was 19. Much regret and growth since then.
i didn’t pursue him, but i didn’t stop it either. i convinced myself it wasn’t real unless we kissed. but emotional cheating is still cheating. i carry guilt over that.
There is something to be said about pursuing a man who has already been vetted by another woman. It makes them seem more trustworthy or something. This is true in other animals as well.
She was in an abusive relationship and reassured me that she wanted to leave him, but wanted to do so subtlety and safely.
For a moment, I genuinely thought she was mine. They’re married now.Â
[removed]
I know someone that feels “special” when a married man chooses to do things with her. It’s honestly because they are so insecure about themselves. They won’t admit it but they don’t value themselves at all. They’re only worth is being “hot”.
Mine was complicated. The guy pretended to be single.
When I fell for him and asked for a commitment, he said he’s married. I thought that was just his way of rejecting me, so we continued dating for 2 more months until I stopped.
He said they weren’t happy but he didn’t want to break up yet because of their kids. I was young and stupid and deeply infatuated, I thought I loved him and I loved how he made me feel. I helped him pick out the engagement ring he gave her 💀
25 comments
[removed]
Ego. I just wanted to prove to myself that I *could* sleep with whoever I wanted. It didn’t work because she goes through his phone 🤷🏻‍♀️
[removed]
[deleted]
[removed]
[removed]
Did it once, never again, absolutely would say my behaviour was vile and feel a lot of guilt about it. Incoming longpost because my god there was a lot that went into it, not simple at all.
Truthfully, it was never about him. Or her. It was about me and my ex. I had just been dumped by my First Love, who I saw myself with for the rest of my life… Still, to this day, my greatest and most passionate romance. And he moved on within two weeks and I felt so alone, so replaced, so unworthy, so unvaluable, so discardable, so rejected……..
And then someone who would make my ex wildly insecure was right there. There’s a whole massive backstory on how said someone took advantage of me (he was my healthcare professional and knew full well I was very damaged, broken, traumatised, and only 23 with her first relationship down)…. But I gave the guy no-strings head and then relentlessly posted about it on social media where I was sure my ex would see it, to rub it in his nose that not only was I giving another man the thing he loved the most about me, the guy was so much hotter than him.
Aka two people used each other. A very-much-taken and very-much-cheating healthcare professional violated both his relationship and Code of Ethics to use a patient for easy BJs… And a very-much-heartbroken woman used him to spite her ex out of her own pain.
I can honestly say not once did she enter my brain, even though I knew she existed. I was so hell-bent on destroying my ex that she was collateral damage. I didn’t feel vindication “I tempted your man away” because I don’t think like that, and I didn’t even want that. She was just *not in my periphery* at any point because the only one who was…. Was my ex.
And then when I saw a photo of her, I had a complete mental breakdown as the guilt ate away at me. Confided in the wrong person. That wrong person then screenshotted our convo and sent it to all of the healthcare’s friends list. Healthcare professional then called me up and said I was to say I had made it all up, I was a stalker with an infatuation, none of it was true, because his reputation was on the line. Thankfully I never did that, I couldn’t, I vomited at the potential of that. It simply slipped away and I never had to worry about any of that ever again.
—
The above is honestly a cautionary tale of how dark revenge can go, and the feelings of spite. How tunnel vision to hurt someone who hurt you, can end up rippling out at others and involve people who had nothing to do with it, but still end up fucked over because of it. Neither the healthcare professional or his significant knew me, knew my ex, but their existence ended up mixed up in my breakup. Which is……. Not good, to say the least.
[removed]
well for starters, i was barely 20, he was in his thirties, and my boss. he made it seem possible he would be leaving her for me.
shockingly, he did not leave her me.
did i mention she was pregnant too?
fucking what was i doing. reality slowly crept into my brain, and i realized he wasn’t going to leave her, and i was not special. i told him i was done sneaking around, he didn’t even push back about it.
and what a scum bag he was. hes got another kid with her now too. bet i wasnt the first or the last for him.
[removed]
[removed]
Because I’m not responsible for other people’s monogamy.
I was really young, 20, and he was older and “sophisticated.” I was a romantic and thought he loved me. It all seemed terribly exciting and forbidden. When his wife found out, she told me I wasn’t the first, and I wouldn’t be the last. As soon as his wife caught us, he ghosted me (as he should). Now that I have been married for a long time with grown children, I realize what I did was so messed up, and I feel so bad for that part of my past. I didn’t understand then what marriage and family really meant.
I was young, naive and stupid. I was prob like 21 and one was 30 at the time and the other 40. Not my most proud moments. I guess I blame it on liking the attention and being naive. I was 21, would drink a lot and would be spending a lot of time around them. The 30 year old (he mighta been 32 I don’t remember) I actually didn’t know anything about him cause he came in with his friends and I genuinely didn’t know he was ENGAGED!!! (Or let alone in a relationship) So I was def misled but because of me, it never went anywhere too far other than flirting, hanging out and messaging. The older one was super shitty on my part cause his wife helped me a lot with stuff back then. He was grimy and was just obsessed with trying to be around me and I guess it worked idk. To this day, I still say that’s one of my biggest regrets and can’t believe I did something like that. It was my own personal issues I didn’t work through at that age and unfortunately other people suffered for it.
I just didn’t care. I wanted who I wanted when I wanted and I knew I could.
Thankfully I was very young and got the mental help I needed. Still feel guilty about the ones that already happened before then, though.
When his wife came into the office and when she went to leave, she shook his hand. She’d have been better off to just say bye. I didn’t see it. My other co-workers told me about it. Then he told me. So we started texting, and it went from there. It wasn’t that I pursed him. It just happened. He was amazing in bed, the sweetest guy, and he was just my type. I still miss him, and it’s been 5 years since I’ve seen him or talked to him. I know when married men cheat they lie to both their spouse and their mistress. But I really do miss him. We were great together. But I ended it because he was married. I know, messed up logic, but I wanted more than he could offer while being married.
The only thing a girl likes more than being told she’s pretty? Being told she’s prettier than other girls.
Grew up very poor watching mom in abusive relationships and i was just looking for a quick out and escape from my life. No love, just an immediately different life with no struggles…i should add, i was 19. Much regret and growth since then.
i didn’t pursue him, but i didn’t stop it either. i convinced myself it wasn’t real unless we kissed. but emotional cheating is still cheating. i carry guilt over that.
There is something to be said about pursuing a man who has already been vetted by another woman. It makes them seem more trustworthy or something. This is true in other animals as well.
She was in an abusive relationship and reassured me that she wanted to leave him, but wanted to do so subtlety and safely.
For a moment, I genuinely thought she was mine. They’re married now.Â
[removed]
I know someone that feels “special” when a married man chooses to do things with her. It’s honestly because they are so insecure about themselves. They won’t admit it but they don’t value themselves at all. They’re only worth is being “hot”.
Mine was complicated. The guy pretended to be single.
When I fell for him and asked for a commitment, he said he’s married. I thought that was just his way of rejecting me, so we continued dating for 2 more months until I stopped.
He said they weren’t happy but he didn’t want to break up yet because of their kids. I was young and stupid and deeply infatuated, I thought I loved him and I loved how he made me feel. I helped him pick out the engagement ring he gave her 💀