What is something people don’t realize is emotionally/physically draining to you?
July 25, 2025
What is something people don’t realize is emotionally/physically draining to you?
40 comments
When I observe how fake people are
People who keep talking about their problems even after youve tried to give them a solution. It becomes repetitive that it drains me.
Not being able to say no. You are not being a helpful person you have s***** boundaries.
not having a voice or opinion – “i’m fine with anything” is actually so annoying over time
Adopting the emotional and mental burdens of others. It’s not helping them if they refuse to fix it and just come to you to unload the frustrations they can’t work through.
Having to engage with some people all the time via text or messenger. I don’t need to chat with you EVERYDAY!
Being talked at
My Crohn’s disease. Most people don’t even know what it, let alone realize how heavy the emotional and physical drain is on someone.
As an educated WOC, yt men tryna mansplain something that I already know I lot about 🤦🏽♀️
Making their lives a big deal but not really acknowledging my big moments. Those are the types of people I don’t keep around.
People who talk but don’t listen. People who expect to be understood but don’t bother to listen or understand. Insensitive people (I feel like they are another species)
Being around people. I’m extremely introverted and something of a hermit, and I get “peopled out” very easily. A couple hours of being in a crowd and I’m sooooo ready to go home.
Making a phone call
People who fish for compliments and want you to reassure them/validate their (usually low) self esteem an excessive amount. I won’t do it at all. Like I’m not their parents or their therapist, it’s not my job. But just all the attempts to make you do it are exhausting and grating.
People who send you tons of reels
Feels like friend homework
Definitely fakeness. I hate it. I’m wired to be my genuine self all times (if not, I just stay quiet). What I don’t understand are people who are fake with their friends??? Like if you can’t be your genuine self around the people who are SUPPOSED to accept you for who you are….then wtf is the point?
Video calls at work.
Existing.
Speaker phone in public. Stop please. Or anything Loud
Having to interact with people I don’t know. Hanging out with a friend: easy. They bring their friend I’ve never met before: this is a VERY different situation that requires a lot more from me emotionally. Going to a party where I only know the host: Welcome to my hell.
When no one’s listening to me.. especially when I try to make a point in relationships
White people asking me what some new slang words mean. I don’t receive a fucking update from the Black People Hive Mind every time a new term comes into usage.
Some of it is just regional too. I have to figure it out from the context just as anyone else should be able to.
Indirect people. Beating around the bush. I do not do well with hints, and even if I do notice that they’re hinting at something, I will deliberately ignore it because it feels manipulative. Use your words, be direct, and tell me what you want.
People who talk about other people too much. I’m not above a little gossip. But I don’t wanna hear the same thing in different ways over multiple hangouts. It’s always the same conclusion. And this will go on for several minutes to over an hour. Just constant ranting and discussing how they’re so beneath you. If you’re so much better than this person, why are you thinking about them soo much and bullying them behind their back. It’s draining and too insecure for me.
long winded talkers. it’s one thing when there’s a back and forth to the conversation but listening to people go on for 5+ minutes at a time gets exhausting
yelling & opinions I infact didn’t ask for
Being fussy. I hate when people are fussy around me, even if they mean well and want the best for me. I feel obligated to perform emotional labor to make them calm down and let me have my peace. This whole ritual is draining and exhausting. And after I feel tired and guilty for being ungrateful for their effort.
Dieting or food restriction. Takes up soooo much brain space and energy.
Talking on the phone, even with people I like.
Avoidant people. So soul draining.
When they only message you to complain about their life
Attempting to sit still and listen without interrupting or getting distracted for even a few minutes at a time is *incredibly* exhausting, hard work that I cannot sustain for long.
Neurotypical people often don’t get this at all, and tend to just think people with ADHD are being purposely rude.
“You pick”, “Whatever you want”, “Do you want me to do this?”, “Just tell me what to do”. I get so much decision fatigue and I feel bad because they ultimately are being helpful but it gets exhausting after a while.
Incessant texting .. like i don’t mind a small 10 min exchange but I don’t have the time or energy to text all day long.
Physically draining to me: loud noise, for example, I cannot endure sitting in a restaurant when loud music is playing. Often I am with people who seem totally unaware of the noise, but I must excuse myself and leave before I develop headaches, dizziness and nausea.
Being spoken to when I’m trying to wind-down.
Physically, the most basic household, tidying, cleaning, chores. Lately for example I cleaned the bathroom for maybe an hour or a half after I just slept about 13 hours and the after just that I couldn’t even hold myself in a sitting position anymore, would have to rest my upper body on the table not to fall down so I layed down and passed out for 25 hours. I can do like max 2 hours of any household chores and that only if I don’t do anything else that costs energy that day. People tend to think I’m just lazy, untidy, dirty, disgusting but I just physically can’t.
Emotionally, being retraumatized over and over again by people accusing me for making up my trauma. Since they don’t believe it happened they don’t believe it can be retraumatizing (despite I actively informed them about it in a written form) so they don’t believe it can be THAT emotionally draining that it lead to several suicide attempts, only that it “bugs” me a bit if they keep saying I had made it up which is their goal because they want to believe that.
spending time around people who consider themselves the most interesting person in their own lives — which is to say that they can talk about themselves endlessly, but show a total lack of curiosity about other people.
i live in LA and work in entertainment, so unfortunately i run into this a lot. i’m soft-spoken and generally polite, so i tend to just let it happen and i doubt people notice how draining i find it.
Socializing.
My family thinking that our dynamic is normal when it’s most definitely not normal, my parents drain me as a whole.
40 comments
When I observe how fake people are
People who keep talking about their problems even after youve tried to give them a solution. It becomes repetitive that it drains me.
Not being able to say no. You are not being a helpful person you have s***** boundaries.
not having a voice or opinion – “i’m fine with anything” is actually so annoying over time
Adopting the emotional and mental burdens of others. It’s not helping them if they refuse to fix it and just come to you to unload the frustrations they can’t work through.
Having to engage with some people all the time via text or messenger. I don’t need to chat with you EVERYDAY!
Being talked at
My Crohn’s disease. Most people don’t even know what it, let alone realize how heavy the emotional and physical drain is on someone.
As an educated WOC, yt men tryna mansplain something that I already know I lot about 🤦🏽♀️
Making their lives a big deal but not really acknowledging my big moments. Those are the types of people I don’t keep around.
People who talk but don’t listen. People who expect to be understood but don’t bother to listen or understand. Insensitive people (I feel like they are another species)
Being around people. I’m extremely introverted and something of a hermit, and I get “peopled out” very easily. A couple hours of being in a crowd and I’m sooooo ready to go home.
Making a phone call
People who fish for compliments and want you to reassure them/validate their (usually low) self esteem an excessive amount. I won’t do it at all. Like I’m not their parents or their therapist, it’s not my job. But just all the attempts to make you do it are exhausting and grating.
People who send you tons of reels
Feels like friend homework
Definitely fakeness. I hate it. I’m wired to be my genuine self all times (if not, I just stay quiet). What I don’t understand are people who are fake with their friends??? Like if you can’t be your genuine self around the people who are SUPPOSED to accept you for who you are….then wtf is the point?
Video calls at work.
Existing.
Speaker phone in public. Stop please. Or anything Loud
Having to interact with people I don’t know. Hanging out with a friend: easy. They bring their friend I’ve never met before: this is a VERY different situation that requires a lot more from me emotionally. Going to a party where I only know the host: Welcome to my hell.
When no one’s listening to me.. especially when I try to make a point in relationships
White people asking me what some new slang words mean. I don’t receive a fucking update from the Black People Hive Mind every time a new term comes into usage.
Some of it is just regional too. I have to figure it out from the context just as anyone else should be able to.
Indirect people. Beating around the bush. I do not do well with hints, and even if I do notice that they’re hinting at something, I will deliberately ignore it because it feels manipulative. Use your words, be direct, and tell me what you want.
People who talk about other people too much. I’m not above a little gossip. But I don’t wanna hear the same thing in different ways over multiple hangouts. It’s always the same conclusion. And this will go on for several minutes to over an hour. Just constant ranting and discussing how they’re so beneath you. If you’re so much better than this person, why are you thinking about them soo much and bullying them behind their back. It’s draining and too insecure for me.
long winded talkers. it’s one thing when there’s a back and forth to the conversation but listening to people go on for 5+ minutes at a time gets exhausting
yelling & opinions I infact didn’t ask for
Being fussy. I hate when people are fussy around me, even if they mean well and want the best for me. I feel obligated to perform emotional labor to make them calm down and let me have my peace. This whole ritual is draining and exhausting. And after I feel tired and guilty for being ungrateful for their effort.
Dieting or food restriction. Takes up soooo much brain space and energy.
Talking on the phone, even with people I like.
Avoidant people. So soul draining.
When they only message you to complain about their life
Attempting to sit still and listen without interrupting or getting distracted for even a few minutes at a time is *incredibly* exhausting, hard work that I cannot sustain for long.
Neurotypical people often don’t get this at all, and tend to just think people with ADHD are being purposely rude.
“You pick”, “Whatever you want”, “Do you want me to do this?”, “Just tell me what to do”. I get so much decision fatigue and I feel bad because they ultimately are being helpful but it gets exhausting after a while.
Incessant texting .. like i don’t mind a small 10 min exchange but I don’t have the time or energy to text all day long.
Physically draining to me: loud noise, for example, I cannot endure sitting in a restaurant when loud music is playing. Often I am with people who seem totally unaware of the noise, but I must excuse myself and leave before I develop headaches, dizziness and nausea.
Being spoken to when I’m trying to wind-down.
Physically, the most basic household, tidying, cleaning, chores. Lately for example I cleaned the bathroom for maybe an hour or a half after I just slept about 13 hours and the after just that I couldn’t even hold myself in a sitting position anymore, would have to rest my upper body on the table not to fall down so I layed down and passed out for 25 hours. I can do like max 2 hours of any household chores and that only if I don’t do anything else that costs energy that day. People tend to think I’m just lazy, untidy, dirty, disgusting but I just physically can’t.
Emotionally, being retraumatized over and over again by people accusing me for making up my trauma. Since they don’t believe it happened they don’t believe it can be retraumatizing (despite I actively informed them about it in a written form) so they don’t believe it can be THAT emotionally draining that it lead to several suicide attempts, only that it “bugs” me a bit if they keep saying I had made it up which is their goal because they want to believe that.
spending time around people who consider themselves the most interesting person in their own lives — which is to say that they can talk about themselves endlessly, but show a total lack of curiosity about other people.
i live in LA and work in entertainment, so unfortunately i run into this a lot. i’m soft-spoken and generally polite, so i tend to just let it happen and i doubt people notice how draining i find it.
Socializing.
My family thinking that our dynamic is normal when it’s most definitely not normal, my parents drain me as a whole.