What did you stop doing for others once you realized it was draining you?
July 16, 2025
What did you stop doing for others once you realized it was draining you?
17 comments
Making myself smaller so that my partner’s wants weren’t interrupted by my needs.
Saying yes
stop making yourself smaller for others, okay
Showing up for people who wouldn’t show up for me.
Always making myself available to help when they never did.
Putting effort into making my pain, anger, and discomfort palatable for others. It does nobody any favors.
I stopped putting up a facade for anyone or lying for people. I’ll act appropriately for the setting and company but I won’t cover up my tattoos, tone down my personality, or pretend to be anything I’m not. and if you are trying to put up some kind of facade or pretend that you’re something you’re not, I won’t play along to keep your cover from being blown.
Listening to everyone all the time.
Being the eldest daughter kept being the listener of the family, sometimes suggesting, sometimes just being the emotional support.
With frnds too turned out i was the one who gave the best advice. Worked well for some time as i thought wow i have good connections with ppl now but realized how draining it is when u have to listen to both sides of the story and calm down both the parties.
It was mentally draining so yeah cut em all off and realized they just wanted an emotional brick to lay on, Didn’t want me just wanted a listener to their problems and a free advisor.
Giving them my time and energy for their projects.
[removed]
Considering to just block some ppl
Giving them my time, kindness and energy over and over when they don’t return it.
I realised it was silently speaking to me. Telling me: you’re not worthy of the same that you give them.
I’m done with that nonsense. I deserve every bit of what I give. If I don’t get it, I redirect it to someone deserving of me.
Apologizing for things beyond my control.
Not caring how I felt as long as others were happy and comfortable
[removed]
Enabling them.
I used to think a good friend always supported people. I learned the painful way that part of what it means to be a good friend is to call out bad behaviour and mistakes. It’s far more emotionally exhausting to watch people you love make bad choices and to pretend it’s anything else, than it is to risk upsetting them by offering to take off their self-imposed blindfold. Whether or not they decide if they prefer to be blind is their call, but that doesn’t mean you are obligated to hold their hand while they stumbled towards the edge of the proverbial cliff.
Being the one always trying to celebrate birthdays, holidays, milestones. If you dont care, i dont either. I only go all out for myself now.
17 comments
Making myself smaller so that my partner’s wants weren’t interrupted by my needs.
Saying yes
stop making yourself smaller for others, okay
Showing up for people who wouldn’t show up for me.
Always making myself available to help when they never did.
Putting effort into making my pain, anger, and discomfort palatable for others. It does nobody any favors.
I stopped putting up a facade for anyone or lying for people. I’ll act appropriately for the setting and company but I won’t cover up my tattoos, tone down my personality, or pretend to be anything I’m not. and if you are trying to put up some kind of facade or pretend that you’re something you’re not, I won’t play along to keep your cover from being blown.
Listening to everyone all the time.
Being the eldest daughter kept being the listener of the family, sometimes suggesting, sometimes just being the emotional support.
With frnds too turned out i was the one who gave the best advice. Worked well for some time as i thought wow i have good connections with ppl now but realized how draining it is when u have to listen to both sides of the story and calm down both the parties.
It was mentally draining so yeah cut em all off and realized they just wanted an emotional brick to lay on, Didn’t want me just wanted a listener to their problems and a free advisor.
Giving them my time and energy for their projects.
[removed]
Considering to just block some ppl
Giving them my time, kindness and energy over and over when they don’t return it.
I realised it was silently speaking to me. Telling me: you’re not worthy of the same that you give them.
I’m done with that nonsense. I deserve every bit of what I give. If I don’t get it, I redirect it to someone deserving of me.
Apologizing for things beyond my control.
Not caring how I felt as long as others were happy and comfortable
[removed]
Enabling them.
I used to think a good friend always supported people. I learned the painful way that part of what it means to be a good friend is to call out bad behaviour and mistakes. It’s far more emotionally exhausting to watch people you love make bad choices and to pretend it’s anything else, than it is to risk upsetting them by offering to take off their self-imposed blindfold. Whether or not they decide if they prefer to be blind is their call, but that doesn’t mean you are obligated to hold their hand while they stumbled towards the edge of the proverbial cliff.
Being the one always trying to celebrate birthdays, holidays, milestones. If you dont care, i dont either. I only go all out for myself now.