I just haven't ever seen the reasoning behind it. Wouldn't everyone there just see it as an ego thing or something like that?
39 comments
The bride wasn’t wearing white, and white is a great color on me.
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I almost wore white when I was 12 because I didn’t know, thank goodness my mom taught me the etiquette. I’m sure it would have been fine, I was 12, but I’m glad I found out then, and not when I was 21 or 22 and just thought I had found a cute dress for it or something
There was an emergency. I look really good in white.
Because I was in my 20s and knew 0% about wedding culture. To be fair, the dress was white with blue flowers.
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I was 17 and had never been to a wedding before. No one cared at all. This was over ten years ago
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Been to over 30 weddings and in several of those. In 0 of them did the bride give a fuck about what color people wore.
When I was 18 I wore a white patterned dress to my cousin’s wedding. It wasn’t a wedding style dress at all but I’m still so embarrassed when I think about it.
It was the first wedding I had ever been to and I had never heard the rule before, it truly never crossed my mind. My parents had recently divorced and it was a cousin on my dad’s side of the family. When I asked my dad what to wear, he said “a nice dress” and the only nice dress I had was whiteish, so that’s what I brought. I flew in straight from college so I wasn’t getting ready with anyone.
Not sure if no one at the wedding noticed/cared, or if I was just completely oblivious to their reaction. Certainly no one has ever mentioned it to me. I only realized it years later, and decided at that point it would be weirder to call up my cousin to apologize than to just let it go.
Ugh…pressure. My only regret is wearing white. I want3d to wear black.
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Went to a wedding where the bride doesn’t wear white as per her culture. So it wasn’t odd if I and some other ladies wore white.
Well it was my wedding
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Because in my culture, the colour white doesn’t really matter or hold a prestige for the bride only. As a matter of fact there’s no *oh don’t steal the spotlight from the bride*
Actually though, I semi did. I was in a hot, rural place far from home. I had extremely limited options. I wore to the ceremony this horrible corset-esq situation (not white). It was not breathable, I was so uncomfortable, sweating, and had to do family photos. There was a 1 hour break in between the meal and the after party. I went back to the hotel room. All I had was this off-white, tan comfortable dress. My husband and multiple family members told me it didn’t look white at all and it was okay to go to the after-party like that. Sigh of relief until I got there. It most obviously was not okay. No one said anything to me but it just felt awful. I stayed for their first dance and got out of there so quickly.
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it was an indian wedding and you’ll literally never outshine the bride <3
I refurbished and modernized my mother’s wedding dress with the help of a friend.
Her dress was white, but had a giant red wine stain down the front when we pulled it out of the box. She “didn’t remember that happening”. Turns out, Oxyclean really _does_ work and it was even whiter after we soaked it in the tub for 24 hours.
EDIT: I’m realizing the question is referring to wearing white to _another_ wedding, not your own. But I’m leaving my comment.
I have never worn white to another person’s wedding. It’s actually my least favourite colour to wear in general.
It isn’t looked down upon in my culture because there’s nothing you could wear or do to ever outshine the bride, our weddings are huge and everything is bride and groom centred and it’s virtually impossible for a second white outfit to distract from that.
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I was explicitly told to wear white as a guest because of the bride’s request. I still felt like I was doing something wrong. She wanted all guests to wear white for the cohesiveness in pictures.
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This was me, but I wasn’t trying to be a monster. I was probably 14-15 when my mom got me a white cocktail dress with blue flowers and a big blue stripe for some dance at school, and I wore it to my cousin’s wedding later that year (or the next). It was my first wedding where I wasn’t in diapers, and I honestly had no clue I should avoid white. I didn’t notice until a few years ago where I saw the group family picture from the wedding, and I saw myself in white. I am still embarrassed, but feel like it would be weird to say anything.
No one mentioned anything that night, and my family saw me at home before we left so I guess it at least met their approval. But on the opposite side, my mom can be a little oblivious so who knows what was said that night.
To be clear, I have never worn white to a wedding since, and I adore my cousin and didn’t mean to offend her in anyway.
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It was an all-white wedding
My MIL and one of my grandmas wore black and white dresses, but they actually both showed me the dresses beforehand cause they were worried about the white underlays and accents, which I told them they did not have to do but I appreciated the thought. Then I told them how fabulous they looked in them and how if those dresses make them feel beautiful and confident, they BETTER wear them to the wedding, and they BETTER rock them! They did indeed both look fabulous.
When I was 9 I wore a dress that had lots of purple flowers on it with a purple sweater, it literally just had a white base.
Bride marrying my uncle still flipped out. They are now divorced.
I was young, didn’t know any better, and it was my nicest outfit. At least I buttoned a cardigan over it.
I was 12 and everyone had received an invite to go to a “*garden engagement party*” celebration for my uncle and his new fiancée that no one knew about.
It was a cream top with a cream and flowered dress over… turns out the bride was really pregnant so, the “*engagement party*” turned into a wedding and all my cousins and I are in varying forms of cream or white with flowered dresses in pictures as it was supposed to be a garden theme party.
I did see a step MIL wear an ivory gown to my bf’s sister’s wedding.
It was… *interesting* and not just because of the dress.
I was the bride
I’m getting married in two weeks and I told my guest that no colours are off limits. Even white. As long as they feel comfortable and me and my fiance are enjoying our day, I don’t give a fuck what they have on.
The dress code was “outshine the bride” (two grooms).
I’ve only been to one wedding where someone else wore white and it was a trans woman that didn’t know the social norms not to wear white. She called someone that could ask the bride on the way to the venue since someone mentioned it. The only time I could ever imagine it being okay and they still got appropriate consent from the bride.
I didn’t but two people wore white to my first wedding.
One was a cousin who sent me an email before asking if it would be okay. She was breastfeeding her newborn and the only blouse she had that wouldn’t draw attention to her nursing bra was white. She was very concerned and said she’d be wearing black pants. I told her I really didn’t care that much and I’m sure she would look lovely.
The second was my ex mother in law.
I only wore White to 2 time wedding one time. One time was because that was the dress code. The bride want every guest to wear guest, the 2nd time was because I was a bridesmaid at a friend wedding and that was the color she wanted all of us to wear.
It was a wedding with two grooms and they wore matching blue suits.
39 comments
The bride wasn’t wearing white, and white is a great color on me.
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I almost wore white when I was 12 because I didn’t know, thank goodness my mom taught me the etiquette. I’m sure it would have been fine, I was 12, but I’m glad I found out then, and not when I was 21 or 22 and just thought I had found a cute dress for it or something
There was an emergency. I look really good in white.
Because I was in my 20s and knew 0% about wedding culture. To be fair, the dress was white with blue flowers.
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I was 17 and had never been to a wedding before. No one cared at all. This was over ten years ago
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Been to over 30 weddings and in several of those. In 0 of them did the bride give a fuck about what color people wore.
When I was 18 I wore a white patterned dress to my cousin’s wedding. It wasn’t a wedding style dress at all but I’m still so embarrassed when I think about it.
It was the first wedding I had ever been to and I had never heard the rule before, it truly never crossed my mind. My parents had recently divorced and it was a cousin on my dad’s side of the family. When I asked my dad what to wear, he said “a nice dress” and the only nice dress I had was whiteish, so that’s what I brought. I flew in straight from college so I wasn’t getting ready with anyone.
Not sure if no one at the wedding noticed/cared, or if I was just completely oblivious to their reaction. Certainly no one has ever mentioned it to me. I only realized it years later, and decided at that point it would be weirder to call up my cousin to apologize than to just let it go.
Ugh…pressure. My only regret is wearing white. I want3d to wear black.
[removed]
Went to a wedding where the bride doesn’t wear white as per her culture. So it wasn’t odd if I and some other ladies wore white.
Well it was my wedding
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Because in my culture, the colour white doesn’t really matter or hold a prestige for the bride only. As a matter of fact there’s no *oh don’t steal the spotlight from the bride*
Actually though, I semi did. I was in a hot, rural place far from home. I had extremely limited options. I wore to the ceremony this horrible corset-esq situation (not white). It was not breathable, I was so uncomfortable, sweating, and had to do family photos. There was a 1 hour break in between the meal and the after party. I went back to the hotel room. All I had was this off-white, tan comfortable dress. My husband and multiple family members told me it didn’t look white at all and it was okay to go to the after-party like that. Sigh of relief until I got there. It most obviously was not okay. No one said anything to me but it just felt awful. I stayed for their first dance and got out of there so quickly.
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it was an indian wedding and you’ll literally never outshine the bride <3
I refurbished and modernized my mother’s wedding dress with the help of a friend.
Her dress was white, but had a giant red wine stain down the front when we pulled it out of the box. She “didn’t remember that happening”. Turns out, Oxyclean really _does_ work and it was even whiter after we soaked it in the tub for 24 hours.
EDIT: I’m realizing the question is referring to wearing white to _another_ wedding, not your own. But I’m leaving my comment.
I have never worn white to another person’s wedding. It’s actually my least favourite colour to wear in general.
It isn’t looked down upon in my culture because there’s nothing you could wear or do to ever outshine the bride, our weddings are huge and everything is bride and groom centred and it’s virtually impossible for a second white outfit to distract from that.
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I was explicitly told to wear white as a guest because of the bride’s request. I still felt like I was doing something wrong. She wanted all guests to wear white for the cohesiveness in pictures.
[removed]
This was me, but I wasn’t trying to be a monster. I was probably 14-15 when my mom got me a white cocktail dress with blue flowers and a big blue stripe for some dance at school, and I wore it to my cousin’s wedding later that year (or the next). It was my first wedding where I wasn’t in diapers, and I honestly had no clue I should avoid white. I didn’t notice until a few years ago where I saw the group family picture from the wedding, and I saw myself in white. I am still embarrassed, but feel like it would be weird to say anything.
No one mentioned anything that night, and my family saw me at home before we left so I guess it at least met their approval. But on the opposite side, my mom can be a little oblivious so who knows what was said that night.
To be clear, I have never worn white to a wedding since, and I adore my cousin and didn’t mean to offend her in anyway.
[removed]
It was an all-white wedding
My MIL and one of my grandmas wore black and white dresses, but they actually both showed me the dresses beforehand cause they were worried about the white underlays and accents, which I told them they did not have to do but I appreciated the thought. Then I told them how fabulous they looked in them and how if those dresses make them feel beautiful and confident, they BETTER wear them to the wedding, and they BETTER rock them! They did indeed both look fabulous.
When I was 9 I wore a dress that had lots of purple flowers on it with a purple sweater, it literally just had a white base.
Bride marrying my uncle still flipped out. They are now divorced.
I was young, didn’t know any better, and it was my nicest outfit. At least I buttoned a cardigan over it.
I was 12 and everyone had received an invite to go to a “*garden engagement party*” celebration for my uncle and his new fiancée that no one knew about.
It was a cream top with a cream and flowered dress over… turns out the bride was really pregnant so, the “*engagement party*” turned into a wedding and all my cousins and I are in varying forms of cream or white with flowered dresses in pictures as it was supposed to be a garden theme party.
I did see a step MIL wear an ivory gown to my bf’s sister’s wedding.
It was… *interesting* and not just because of the dress.
I was the bride
I’m getting married in two weeks and I told my guest that no colours are off limits. Even white. As long as they feel comfortable and me and my fiance are enjoying our day, I don’t give a fuck what they have on.
The dress code was “outshine the bride” (two grooms).
I’ve only been to one wedding where someone else wore white and it was a trans woman that didn’t know the social norms not to wear white. She called someone that could ask the bride on the way to the venue since someone mentioned it. The only time I could ever imagine it being okay and they still got appropriate consent from the bride.
I didn’t but two people wore white to my first wedding.
One was a cousin who sent me an email before asking if it would be okay. She was breastfeeding her newborn and the only blouse she had that wouldn’t draw attention to her nursing bra was white. She was very concerned and said she’d be wearing black pants. I told her I really didn’t care that much and I’m sure she would look lovely.
The second was my ex mother in law.
I only wore White to 2 time wedding one time. One time was because that was the dress code. The bride want every guest to wear guest, the 2nd time was because I was a bridesmaid at a friend wedding and that was the color she wanted all of us to wear.
It was a wedding with two grooms and they wore matching blue suits.