What’s something partners don’t realize counts as emotional dishonesty?
July 11, 2025
What’s something partners don’t realize counts as emotional dishonesty?
8 comments
Someone I know goes through this often. To her, this is emotional dishonesty.
Her partner doesn’t tell other women he is taken, but continues to have hours of conversation without bringing up her name or existence. Sometimes these talks are deep – about spirituality, travel, healing, even the same illness that my friend has. But he doesn’t bring her name or existence up.
Sometimes it goes on for weeks and even months.
Edit: He says she must trust him and there’s no need for others to know his relationship status
Avoiding issues instead of being open and upfront. Lies of omission.
Reading personal journals and reading whatsapp chats when they have entrusted phone and password to you.
Acting like you’re okay with plans when you’re actually dreading them. I’d rather know you hate my sister’s dinner parties upfront than watch you sulk through appetizers while I’m wondering what I did wrong.
[removed]
Withheld information is still lying
Emotional surrogacy.
By which I mean, speaking to me about really delicate things about your relationship. I feel like I am a magnet for this. It’s happened 4 times when I’ve had to shut a conversation off because they are telling me a out needs their partner isn’t fulfilling. Usually intimate, sexual things, but even things that are clearly clearly private is enough. Like I dont need or want to know about medication my friend is on about a problem she chose not to share, no matter how it affects you.
I think women and men can be friends, but I think there are caveats and boundaries. For me, this is one. I can have this conversation with people who are in a relationship with men, aka, most women, and my one gay friend because you are seeking out an alternative perspective, looking to vent, whatever else it may be. And I am 100% here for them like that.
I cannot have it with friends who are in a relationship with a woman, because if you are willing to connect to a woman about it, you should be doing it with the woman you are in a relationship with. It hits different for me, and I personally believe this is emotional dishonesty to confide in me when you wont with them. Not dishonest to me, but dishonest to their partner, and I won’t tolerate that for several reasons. The first and foremost being, it carries the vibe of someone feeling out if I will replace them in some way, which invariably leads to other things. I’m leading no one down a path, which I can assure them ends very abruptly.
Sharing your emotions with someone else other than your partner
8 comments
Someone I know goes through this often. To her, this is emotional dishonesty.
Her partner doesn’t tell other women he is taken, but continues to have hours of conversation without bringing up her name or existence. Sometimes these talks are deep – about spirituality, travel, healing, even the same illness that my friend has. But he doesn’t bring her name or existence up.
Sometimes it goes on for weeks and even months.
Edit: He says she must trust him and there’s no need for others to know his relationship status
Avoiding issues instead of being open and upfront. Lies of omission.
Reading personal journals and reading whatsapp chats when they have entrusted phone and password to you.
Acting like you’re okay with plans when you’re actually dreading them. I’d rather know you hate my sister’s dinner parties upfront than watch you sulk through appetizers while I’m wondering what I did wrong.
[removed]
Withheld information is still lying
Emotional surrogacy.
By which I mean, speaking to me about really delicate things about your relationship. I feel like I am a magnet for this. It’s happened 4 times when I’ve had to shut a conversation off because they are telling me a out needs their partner isn’t fulfilling. Usually intimate, sexual things, but even things that are clearly clearly private is enough. Like I dont need or want to know about medication my friend is on about a problem she chose not to share, no matter how it affects you.
I think women and men can be friends, but I think there are caveats and boundaries. For me, this is one. I can have this conversation with people who are in a relationship with men, aka, most women, and my one gay friend because you are seeking out an alternative perspective, looking to vent, whatever else it may be. And I am 100% here for them like that.
I cannot have it with friends who are in a relationship with a woman, because if you are willing to connect to a woman about it, you should be doing it with the woman you are in a relationship with. It hits different for me, and I personally believe this is emotional dishonesty to confide in me when you wont with them. Not dishonest to me, but dishonest to their partner, and I won’t tolerate that for several reasons. The first and foremost being, it carries the vibe of someone feeling out if I will replace them in some way, which invariably leads to other things. I’m leading no one down a path, which I can assure them ends very abruptly.
Sharing your emotions with someone else other than your partner