How do you deal with a friend taking a job that you’re morally opposed to? Or choosing money over morals?
July 10, 2025
How do you deal with a friend taking a job that you’re morally opposed to? Or choosing money over morals?
40 comments
It would definitely depend on the job, and how it aligns with not just my morality but with her own.
I would ask myself how this job would affect my life. If it doesn’t affect it at all, I would probably just maintain the friendship as normal, since it’s their life and their choice what they do for work. If you’re unable to separate your friend from their choice, your only real option is to end the friendship.
I don’t really understand your second question. Are you getting paid for this person’s job?
It’s none of my business. As long as it doesn’t affect me, they can do what they want. I may not agree with it but I’m also not involved financially. Who am I to say what they do for money?
For example, if they want to do OF? Awesome. Just don’t do it in my house or around me
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My sister did OnlyFans for a while. Not a choice that I would have made for myself.
In theory I think women should be able to support themselves however they want, and even sex workers should be supported in their choices as long as they’re consenting adults. But it hits different when it’s your own sister doing it.
All I did was let her know that I would be there to help if she needed it. And I let her continue making her own choices.
She’s doing fine now, she has a mainstream job and a husband with two kids (one of them her own, one of them is her husband’s from a previous relationship.) All is well today!
I’ve come up against this a few times with friends working for Canada Goose and Lockheed Martin, both of which have some pretty questionable moral and ethical questions.
At the end of the day, you cannot drive someone else’s moral compass and if what they are doing for a career doesn’t align with your own directive, then you make the best decision for yourself. But I would also say, you need to make sure your side of the street is squeaky clean.
Depends on what that job is and how it affects how I view that person. If I’m strongly morally opposed and think that their choice of job is literally immoral or unethical, it would diminish our friendship significantly and likely end it entirely. Working as a retail employee for a company that supports policies I don’t like? Probably not an issue. Working for the secret police to harass, assault, and disappear people? Our friendship is over.
The friendship would probably fade away.
Respect their choice, but express my feelings honestly.
Thats literally not my business unless they ask my opinion.
We live in a society where we die if we don’t make ends meet. That causes a lot of desperation. I think if your friend is a good human that is what matters, if you don’t think they are, then you shouldn’t be friends with them. Are they choosing money or are they choosing survival?
I understand that money’s importance is different for people. I almost don’t blame anyone for doing anything for money when it will put them in a significantly better position. That’s what all the money is for anyway, it’s in exchange for your soul. I’d voice my opinion, but I’m not really judging them. Poverty should be avoided at all costs.
I would do my best to help them find another job, no one should be a cop ._.
Frankly. You have no say in what people can and can’t do for a job. Unless you’re gonna pay them to not do the job, then its none of your business.
Your morals aren’t necessarily the same as someone else’s.
What morals are they breaking? I would probably turn the other way for most but if it was anti human originzation or promoted a dangerous ideology I may stay away from then. Would also keep my distance from drug dealers.
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My friend is becoming a saleslady for Pharmaceuticals. She doesn’t like to tell people because, well of course we all feel the same way about that industry. But she’s a go getter and a strong lady, I wish her the best and hope she kicks ass! (Hits close to home because antidepressants made me suicidal and messed up her sister for a bit)
I really like where I work, however we have some clients where, I wouldn’t choose to do business with them for many reasons. However, I’ve been pretty fortunate to avoid having to work on their stuff and I do my best to separate myself and remember that I don’t have control over everything. A lot of my colleagues are in criminal defense and family law, which, I can’t even imagine the moral and emotional difficulties those areas entail. There are definitely areas of law and firms that I would never touch because I couldn’t handle the conflict within myself. That all being said, I’ve had a couple of friends give me some flack about a couple of the clients retained by my firm. What am I supposed to say? We are a “by the book” practice and pretty ethical in terms of how we practice law, I’m not going like all of our clients. Just like, if you are waiting tables, you aren’t going to like all of your customers but you are going to pick up the tip and put it in your pocket. When it comes to my friends and colleagues, it’s none of my business where they choose to work or how they make their living. I can’t say that I know anyone that makes money illegally or involving crime, I would probably not be cool with that and maybe distance myself.
We all need to eat. I won’t shop at hobby lobby because of their policies, but I’m not going to judge someone for taking a job there.
Will you feed your friend? Will you keep a roof over their head? Will you take care of their responsibilities and of their loved ones? No? Then shut up. It is none of your business. If it is such a big deal for you then just end the friendship.
Unless you are planning to financially provide for them until they find a job that you approve off then stay out of it. Everyone has bills to pay as long as you’re not stealing or hurting yourself or others then I don’t see the problem.
Depends what the job is. ICE agent? I’d be pretty uninterested in that friendship tbh.
But it would have to be morally reprehensible for me to think that strongly.
Are we talking OnlyFans or ICE?
It would depend upon the job.
I wouldn’t care if they became an insurance company lawyer or were going to do admin work in a hate-filled evangelical church, even though I’m strongly morally opposed to both industries.
But if they were going to be an ICE agent, hell no, that’s no friend of mine.
(And every woman here who immediately jumps to “I don’t care if she accepts a sex-related or modeling job,” is just parroting what men say we should judge each other for. Of course OnlyFans or stripping or selling feet pics is fine, those are just jobs and are not killing people, they’re not indicative of low moral character like working for an insurance company or evangelical church or ICE, which all directly cause American deaths.)
i believe my choice in friends are a reflection of my character. from our convos, i would probably initially ask why & see how they rationalize/cope w the emotional toll of taking a fucked up job. then i set boundaries on what im okay w holding space for in our friendship bc i work an emotionally taxing job lol
I would have a pretty hard time with it and might not be able to continue the friendship.
I have been dealing with this. I have friends who work for United Healthcare and oil and gas companies and I feel weird about it. We’ve never talked about it but the older I get the more I hate it.
Good for them! Go get paid 😀
Most of us chose money over morals to a certain extent, else there would be no big screen TVs Co-existing with hungry homeless people in the same society. The question is where do you draw the line: that a person’s economic choices are too morally compromised for you to support within society. For me, it’s the big ones: I may boycott chick-fil-a myself, but I don’t expect everyone I know to boycott them. I certainly wouldn’t hold it against a friend who found work there (few people would work there if they had better options. Its a survival job.) Some one working for ICE I’d have a problem with. Ditto human trafficking, tobacco company executives, (but not the kid selling cigarettes at the convenience store), and Trump enablers.
As long as it’s not hurting anybody, who cares?
And if it *is* hurting anybody, I would hope they’re a hit man taking out bad guys or a Spy of some kind doing the same.
What, like she’s a stripper, which only hurts herself(if, in fact, it does hurt anyone)?
Or her she is working with a fascist government intent on destroying the free world? Those things are different.
Super vague.
“How do you feel about volcanoes?”
I dont know, im not anti volcano, but they are usually bad for people. Is there any magma getting on me? More details are needed lol
What’s the job, what’s the compromise? She could be a cartel hit woman or a checker at hobby lobby based on your description, and what you should do about it changes drastically depending on those details.
If a friend is choosing to surround themselves with unethical people, unethical behaviors, and an unethical boss, I will assume that is who my friend is too. If they begin voicing the same unethical opinions as their boss, the friendship is over.
I personally cannot be friends with people whose jobs are entirely about taking advantage of other people (ex. stock market). I’ve been decisive about not being their friend. There are also people I’m no longer friends with because money got to their head. Ex: looking down on others and using their role to make others feel bad.
I mean it depends on the job? If one of my friends desperately needs a job but the only place they get an offer from is chik fil a, that’s fine. One of my friends got laid off and is doing AI training to make ends meet. We both hate it but people need to eat.
If they were working for ICE or building missiles it would be another story entirely.
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future
wife’s friend became a cop. i honestly put my feelings aside about cops because she was a long time friend. it lasted and we did fine a short while. the. that ego grew and we hung out less and less. after a year or so she notices her kids were getting distant. She went back to the corporate world working in accounting. they hang out every once in a while now.
Depends on the gig. Choosing to be a cop? Probably gonna distance myself. Choosing to become a porn star? Get it girl do your thing. A security guard at a grocery store? Go find a different gig you power tripper. A security at a bank? Whatever guard that gold babe. A republican? Gonna distance. A corporate lawyer for oil? Shame but make that money.
My buddy stopped pursuing his passion in environmental science to work for his dad as a Caymenian banker… I am disappointed in his choice and sad for the world a little but I understand taking the easier route (promised career and money to support whatever lifestyle you want). Thus I keep my disappointment quiet and hope he is happy in life cause at the end of the day he’s my homie and I want him to be happy
Unless you’re financing, fucking, or feeding them, I don’t think it’s any of your business.
40 comments
It would definitely depend on the job, and how it aligns with not just my morality but with her own.
I would ask myself how this job would affect my life. If it doesn’t affect it at all, I would probably just maintain the friendship as normal, since it’s their life and their choice what they do for work. If you’re unable to separate your friend from their choice, your only real option is to end the friendship.
I don’t really understand your second question. Are you getting paid for this person’s job?
It’s none of my business. As long as it doesn’t affect me, they can do what they want. I may not agree with it but I’m also not involved financially. Who am I to say what they do for money?
For example, if they want to do OF? Awesome. Just don’t do it in my house or around me
[removed]
My sister did OnlyFans for a while. Not a choice that I would have made for myself.
In theory I think women should be able to support themselves however they want, and even sex workers should be supported in their choices as long as they’re consenting adults. But it hits different when it’s your own sister doing it.
All I did was let her know that I would be there to help if she needed it. And I let her continue making her own choices.
She’s doing fine now, she has a mainstream job and a husband with two kids (one of them her own, one of them is her husband’s from a previous relationship.) All is well today!
I’ve come up against this a few times with friends working for Canada Goose and Lockheed Martin, both of which have some pretty questionable moral and ethical questions.
At the end of the day, you cannot drive someone else’s moral compass and if what they are doing for a career doesn’t align with your own directive, then you make the best decision for yourself. But I would also say, you need to make sure your side of the street is squeaky clean.
Depends on what that job is and how it affects how I view that person. If I’m strongly morally opposed and think that their choice of job is literally immoral or unethical, it would diminish our friendship significantly and likely end it entirely. Working as a retail employee for a company that supports policies I don’t like? Probably not an issue. Working for the secret police to harass, assault, and disappear people? Our friendship is over.
The friendship would probably fade away.
Respect their choice, but express my feelings honestly.
Thats literally not my business unless they ask my opinion.
We live in a society where we die if we don’t make ends meet. That causes a lot of desperation. I think if your friend is a good human that is what matters, if you don’t think they are, then you shouldn’t be friends with them. Are they choosing money or are they choosing survival?
I understand that money’s importance is different for people. I almost don’t blame anyone for doing anything for money when it will put them in a significantly better position. That’s what all the money is for anyway, it’s in exchange for your soul. I’d voice my opinion, but I’m not really judging them. Poverty should be avoided at all costs.
I would do my best to help them find another job, no one should be a cop ._.
Frankly. You have no say in what people can and can’t do for a job. Unless you’re gonna pay them to not do the job, then its none of your business.
Your morals aren’t necessarily the same as someone else’s.
What morals are they breaking? I would probably turn the other way for most but if it was anti human originzation or promoted a dangerous ideology I may stay away from then. Would also keep my distance from drug dealers.
[removed]
My friend is becoming a saleslady for Pharmaceuticals. She doesn’t like to tell people because, well of course we all feel the same way about that industry. But she’s a go getter and a strong lady, I wish her the best and hope she kicks ass! (Hits close to home because antidepressants made me suicidal and messed up her sister for a bit)
I really like where I work, however we have some clients where, I wouldn’t choose to do business with them for many reasons. However, I’ve been pretty fortunate to avoid having to work on their stuff and I do my best to separate myself and remember that I don’t have control over everything. A lot of my colleagues are in criminal defense and family law, which, I can’t even imagine the moral and emotional difficulties those areas entail. There are definitely areas of law and firms that I would never touch because I couldn’t handle the conflict within myself. That all being said, I’ve had a couple of friends give me some flack about a couple of the clients retained by my firm. What am I supposed to say? We are a “by the book” practice and pretty ethical in terms of how we practice law, I’m not going like all of our clients. Just like, if you are waiting tables, you aren’t going to like all of your customers but you are going to pick up the tip and put it in your pocket. When it comes to my friends and colleagues, it’s none of my business where they choose to work or how they make their living. I can’t say that I know anyone that makes money illegally or involving crime, I would probably not be cool with that and maybe distance myself.
We all need to eat. I won’t shop at hobby lobby because of their policies, but I’m not going to judge someone for taking a job there.
Will you feed your friend? Will you keep a roof over their head? Will you take care of their responsibilities and of their loved ones? No? Then shut up. It is none of your business. If it is such a big deal for you then just end the friendship.
Unless you are planning to financially provide for them until they find a job that you approve off then stay out of it. Everyone has bills to pay as long as you’re not stealing or hurting yourself or others then I don’t see the problem.
Depends what the job is. ICE agent? I’d be pretty uninterested in that friendship tbh.
But it would have to be morally reprehensible for me to think that strongly.
Are we talking OnlyFans or ICE?
It would depend upon the job.
I wouldn’t care if they became an insurance company lawyer or were going to do admin work in a hate-filled evangelical church, even though I’m strongly morally opposed to both industries.
But if they were going to be an ICE agent, hell no, that’s no friend of mine.
(And every woman here who immediately jumps to “I don’t care if she accepts a sex-related or modeling job,” is just parroting what men say we should judge each other for. Of course OnlyFans or stripping or selling feet pics is fine, those are just jobs and are not killing people, they’re not indicative of low moral character like working for an insurance company or evangelical church or ICE, which all directly cause American deaths.)
i believe my choice in friends are a reflection of my character. from our convos, i would probably initially ask why & see how they rationalize/cope w the emotional toll of taking a fucked up job. then i set boundaries on what im okay w holding space for in our friendship bc i work an emotionally taxing job lol
I would have a pretty hard time with it and might not be able to continue the friendship.
I have been dealing with this. I have friends who work for United Healthcare and oil and gas companies and I feel weird about it. We’ve never talked about it but the older I get the more I hate it.
Good for them! Go get paid 😀
Most of us chose money over morals to a certain extent, else there would be no big screen TVs Co-existing with hungry homeless people in the same society. The question is where do you draw the line: that a person’s economic choices are too morally compromised for you to support within society. For me, it’s the big ones: I may boycott chick-fil-a myself, but I don’t expect everyone I know to boycott them. I certainly wouldn’t hold it against a friend who found work there (few people would work there if they had better options. Its a survival job.) Some one working for ICE I’d have a problem with. Ditto human trafficking, tobacco company executives, (but not the kid selling cigarettes at the convenience store), and Trump enablers.
As long as it’s not hurting anybody, who cares?
And if it *is* hurting anybody, I would hope they’re a hit man taking out bad guys or a Spy of some kind doing the same.
What, like she’s a stripper, which only hurts herself(if, in fact, it does hurt anyone)?
Or her she is working with a fascist government intent on destroying the free world? Those things are different.
Super vague.
“How do you feel about volcanoes?”
I dont know, im not anti volcano, but they are usually bad for people. Is there any magma getting on me? More details are needed lol
What’s the job, what’s the compromise? She could be a cartel hit woman or a checker at hobby lobby based on your description, and what you should do about it changes drastically depending on those details.
If a friend is choosing to surround themselves with unethical people, unethical behaviors, and an unethical boss, I will assume that is who my friend is too. If they begin voicing the same unethical opinions as their boss, the friendship is over.
I personally cannot be friends with people whose jobs are entirely about taking advantage of other people (ex. stock market). I’ve been decisive about not being their friend. There are also people I’m no longer friends with because money got to their head. Ex: looking down on others and using their role to make others feel bad.
I mean it depends on the job? If one of my friends desperately needs a job but the only place they get an offer from is chik fil a, that’s fine. One of my friends got laid off and is doing AI training to make ends meet. We both hate it but people need to eat.
If they were working for ICE or building missiles it would be another story entirely.
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future
wife’s friend became a cop. i honestly put my feelings aside about cops because she was a long time friend. it lasted and we did fine a short while. the. that ego grew and we hung out less and less. after a year or so she notices her kids were getting distant. She went back to the corporate world working in accounting. they hang out every once in a while now.
Depends on the gig. Choosing to be a cop? Probably gonna distance myself. Choosing to become a porn star? Get it girl do your thing. A security guard at a grocery store? Go find a different gig you power tripper. A security at a bank? Whatever guard that gold babe. A republican? Gonna distance. A corporate lawyer for oil? Shame but make that money.
My buddy stopped pursuing his passion in environmental science to work for his dad as a Caymenian banker… I am disappointed in his choice and sad for the world a little but I understand taking the easier route (promised career and money to support whatever lifestyle you want). Thus I keep my disappointment quiet and hope he is happy in life cause at the end of the day he’s my homie and I want him to be happy
Unless you’re financing, fucking, or feeding them, I don’t think it’s any of your business.