How would your friendship be affected if you found out your friend is making a choice to cheat on their spouse/partner?
July 9, 2025
How would your friendship be affected if you found out your friend is making a choice to cheat on their spouse/partner?
45 comments
I would no longer be friends with them and their partner would be informed.
Obviously there are always other things to consider but generally speaking making the choice to cheat on their partner would be a serious blow to my ability to trust them, and I’m not really interested in having friends I don’t trust. Most likely the friendship tapers rather than blows up, but I guess that depends on how close I am to their partner, the seriousness of their relationship, the severity of the cheating, etc.
It depends on how my friend would react to me snitching😻
When this happened to me, I just distanced myself from the friend. I chose not to tell her spouse because it was apparent they hated each other and she figured he was having his own affair. I just stepped away from the whole mess
I don’t tell but if it’s making me uncomfortable I make sure to distance myself. Most likely they’re going through something tho
So here we go. I have a close family member that has been having an affair with a married man. Its not their first rodeo either of having an affair with a married man. But this affair has been going on for about 10 years. The whole thing is disgusting. I’ve voiced numerous times that its terrible what they are doing. This family member keeps dismissing it, saying “oh its fine they don’t even love each other anymore”, and other excuses to make them feel better about what they are doing.
I can’t just cut them out of my life because of it. They’re family, I would never rat on them even though I highly highly disapprove of the whole thing. One day, the truth will come out, it always does.
Same goes for a friend. All my friends i’ve known for a very long time, 15+ years. I would never rat on any of them, but I would tell them what they are doing is awful and would just tell them to get a divorce already.
I just don’t understand how people can live like that. I don’t know how people can look themselves in the mirror and be okay with having an affair and feel they are living an honest good life, they’re clearly not. Its awful.
Depends on the exact situation.
Honestly? I’d lose a ton of respect. If they can betray someone they claim to love, what stops them from screwing me over too?🫠
Probably encourage them…all their husbands are dumb.
I would not care. I don’t think cheating is good or anything like that, but it’s not a reason for me to stop being friends with someone.
I wouldn’t be able to stay friends with them unless they confessed to their partner and accepted the consequences. I just wouldn’t be able to respect someone who kept making choices to lie to someone so close to them.
I was there. We were young and I helped my bff with the cover ups. Definitely not proud of it.
Now that I am older, I would not enable it. But I am a firm believer that friends should not judge friends. Someone who judges or feel morally superior to their bff, deserves no friends at all.
I would stand there, hearing what they want to share, and ready to support facing the consequences.
i think it depends on my relationship with them. the closer the friendship, the deeper and more profoundly i think it would disturb me. especially if it was my best friend, i would be absolutely heartbroken.
regardless, however, i would tell their partner, i think i would feel some level of repsonsibility.
I’d be curious and understand it’s not always straight forward in the reality, personally I wouldn’t cheat and don’t condone it but I’d listen to my friend and be for them as chances are they need someone to help guide them as to why their cheating in the first place
Would depend vastly on the circumstances. There’s no way for me to answer this without knowing why my friend is cheating and why they didn’t just end the relationship before pursuing someone else (in some cases abuse is a factor).
I’d immediately lose respect for them and end the friendship.
I actually had a friend repeatedly mention wanting to visit a male **internet** friend (🙄) while we were on vacation in the same country that he lives in. We were at a resort, and thank the freaking heavens that he lived too far away, because she was practically begging me to go with her to see him.
And the joke is, every single day of the vacation she talked about her bf and how madly in love she is with him. 🙄 *Mmkay*. Needless to say, I had to talk some serious sense in her while also trying to enjoy my vacation.
Pro tip: NEVER go on vacation with a heavily male-centered friend.
There would no longer be a friendship and I would tell the partner and recommend they get tested.
I would no longer be their friend and I would tell their spouse immediately.
Oof. My best friend and her fiancé have been my friends for 20 years. It would be devastating.
I try not to make friends with people that would do that, but let’s say that they go off the deep end with a mid-life crisis. We’re going to have a conversation about why they made that choice and how to be accountable in their relationship. Their actions afterwards would have a huge impact on our friendship. People make mistakes, sure, but making excuses for their actions isn’t acceptable behavior.
I’d tell them that I considered that unethical and distance myself from the friendship which would probably end altogether not long afterwards. I consider people’s choices an indicator of their character and integrity. In the case of someone making a choice to cheat rather than handling their relationship issues ethically, I would consider it a demonstration of their values. It’s messy, unkind, and unnecessary, and I’m not interested in being involved with someone who is ok with it.
I’ll support my friends in leaving their bad relationships, but I won’t support them in contributing to one by treating their partner like that. If they need out, I’m there. If they prefer to lie and manipulate their partner than leave with integrity, I’m not staying for that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with consensual non-monogamy, but there’s plenty wrong with non-consensual non-monogamy.
i know it’s not a popular opinion. but i don’t care.
S/he cheated of their partner ? so what ?
but i’m 40’s and at this point i’ve been both cheated when i was young, and cheated on. so yes. people cheat. is it the best way to manage things ? probably not. but also i don’t know the details of their life so i’m not judging.
well honestly, it would definitely change how I see them. I’m not sure I’d end the friendship immediately, but I’d feel uncomfortable knowing they’re okay with hurting someone like that. It would make me question their values.
Honestly, it’s none of my business what she does with her life. These are her choices and I’ll just be there to pick up the pieces when and if they fall.
Depends on what the relationship is like. I come from somewhere where most marriages inevitably end up being miserable for women sooner or later. And I’m not someone who advocates for my friends staying faithful to a parasite who takes too much and gives back nothing. But for the most part, I’m not a fan of cheaters and it definitely makes me question someone’s character if they decide to go running around behind their partner’s back instead of addressing and resolving their issues the conventional way. So far, I’ve never had a friend who cheated on their partner. Only a few who got cheated on.
Are they in an abusive relationship that they can’t leave currently? I’d still be miffed but I’d help them plan an exit and a break up.
Any other scenario? I’d distance myself entirely, probably would cut them off, and I’d inform their partner.
Cheating is abhorrent to me.
support her lol idgaf about her boyfriend and i’m not about to do any favors and insert myself
My friendship wouldn’t be impacted. I do my best to reserve judgment, esp for the people I love. I am not in her shoes. I am her friend, I would listen and give feedback if requested. Cheating is something I don’t intend to do myself. I think if any of my girlfriend’s were cheating they would be in turmoil and I wouldn’t ditch them in this scenario. I don’t think cheating would impact my trust in her.
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It’s really none of my business and has absolutely nothing to do with my friendship with that person. You never know what people are going through and it’s not your place to judge them.
I don’t think it’s an indication of their friendship with you. Maybe their partner is abusive, doesn’t show affection or she’s just generally unhappy. NOT saying cheating is the answer but it’s not black and white and I wouldn’t end a friendship over it. But I would encourage her to leave her partner or come clean. Ultimately it isn’t my business though
That friendship ended in a firefly blaze. Told her off and shamed her for it, and kicked her ass to the curb since we were just as close to her husband we were her.
I dont associate with garbage.
The first time it happened I was her confidant. I was her friend first and foremost. It became hard as our families were close and spent a lot of time together including trips. The second time, I became the doormat friend. I was introduced to #2 at her annual Halloween party and reflexively tossed my drink in the guys face. That’s when things between her and I started to slide. The THIRD GUY, I was out. Yeah, yeah lemme hear it. 3!?! Yes. I remained her friend while she cheated on her husband, who was a dear friend, 3 times. She had me wrapped in her web of lies and was a very close, very toxic, friend and business partner. And I learned a hard lesson.
It wouldn’t really be affected. Especially if they aren’t asking for my advice or input or wanting me to cover for them. I don’t meddle in my friend’s relationships or morality police them like that.
My friend grew up in a strict cult and married a somewhat okay guy. Ten years later she was moved from her bubble, allowed to see the world, make changes for herself. She feels a lot more attracted to women and feels herself to be poly. She’s been open with her husband about this for over 5 years.
Her husband is often gone for long periods of time, 6-10 months. When he returns he has no interest in sex. He does love her but she has a high need for sex and he isn’t interested. He’s also gained about 200lbs. Sometimes he says she’s allowed to have a girlfriend, then he changes his mind. She’s said he can do what he wants as well but he isn’t interested.
When she first opened up to me I was horrified, I’m friends with them both. She is honest with him but I also see that she feels suicidal at times because she feels so trapped. She loves him too much to leave but can’t. Eventually I trust they will both realize this marriage isn’t what’s best for both of them. For her mental health I have stuck around I just may not take her advice.
I remember being married and my husband hadn’t had sex with me for 8 years and he was so negative and awful to live with I asked him to go find someone. I thought maybe if he could just find some happiness it would be better for both of us, and with two toddlers I just couldn’t leave yet. I get it.
I’ve had a bunch of women co workers do this. I stopped talking to them and when I was asked what was wrong (I am a married woman with 4 children), I professionally explained that I was not comfortable knowing the details of their personal life any longer and wished to have only a work relationship. Each woman I’ve encountered that chose to cheat (separate events) were pissed and every single one of them talked smack about me as if I was the bad guy. But I just can’t be buddy buddy with someone who willing is cheating on their husband and the ones the ones that angered me the most were the married women with kids. Rumors get spread and that old saying goes “birds of a feather fly together.”
As someone who’s been cheated on, I couldn’t be friends with someone who would inflict that kind of pain on the other partner.
Until you’ve been cheated on, you really have NO idea the avalanche of pain and suffering it inflicts on the other partner, especially if they were faithful and thought they were in a relationship with a trustworthy person. It is devastating.
I would try to guide her the right way and encourage her to come clean and make the right decision. And ask her why she wants to cheat instead of breaking up (does she feel unsafe?). I would still be her friend, we all have the capability of wrongdoings but that wrong doing doesn’t make us a bad person.
But it also depends, like repeated affairs, or affairs and she has a family, and/or she shows no guilt or remorse for cheating (esp if he’s a genuine person). I feel the need to cut her off. Then I’d think she’s a bad person and I don’t want someone like that in my life. I also would be worried she’s not reliable and would hurt me if an opportunity presents itself and she can gain something for it.
As for telling her partner if she did cheat.. unless if I know them, i wouldn’t but I’d definitely keep encourage to tell her partner. Some of my friend’s partners are my friend too, and I’d give them the chance to let their partners know but if they don’t tell them.. I would tell them.
My former bff was a serial cheater. There’s a good chance one or two of her kids aren’t her ex-husband’s. I considered it to be her business, tho. I was never involved in *helping* her cheat, and I wasn’t really close enough w/her husband to tell him.
I know some people will think me knowing she was cheating makes me an accomplice somehow, or a bad person for not exposing her secret. But we were all adults, with our own lives. There were no responsibilities or obligations to be her conscience.
(She got hurt feelings because *I* wouldn’t have sex with her, even before her relationship began. I was never sexually attracted to her. I always told her I don’t mess around with my friends – but honestly she was not a clean person & it kind of grossed me out).
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I don’t trust cheaters. If you’ll betray the person you’re supposed to love the most…how bad will you betray me? Cheaters are at their core immoral and untrustworthy.
I actually broke up my friend group in college over this…
There were 3 of us, and one girl admits to sleeping with this guy who was dating one of our classmates. She said she really liked him, that the guy loved her and was gonna leave his gf who he’d been with for about 1.5 years.
She was actually with someone else for a bit during that semester and I think he broke it off because he found out she was sleeping with the other girls BF. We tried to tell her not to sleep with him anymore and that he likely didn’t actually have feelings for her, but she didn’t listen.
One day I let it slip to her ex bf that she was still sleeping with this guy. The ex was mad and went and told the guys girlfriend.
The 3 of us girls (me, girl who slept with the BF, and a 3rd friend) were all in a vocal jazz group at this college. So after our performance the GF comes right up to us getting off stage (we were performing in the cafeteria) and confronts the girl who was sleeping with her BF, she was so mad, and crying too. It was actually a trainwreck, but hey maybe don’t go fucking other people’s BFs? I don’t play about that, so she kinda deserved the public confrontation.
Anyways, the GF stayed with him and eventually their relationship became a thruple because her BF “discovered he was poly and can’t get everything he needs in a relationship from 1 person.” Yeah they broke up within a year after that.
Happened with my childhood best friend. We aren’t friends anymore, and her situation ended in divorce.
I would first try to dissuade them from continuing cheating and suggest they leave the primary relationship. There’s really no excuse for cheating. Even in difficult circumstances there are other remedies.
If they chose to continue, I would distance myself from them as ultimately cheating goes against my values. I wouldn’t tell their partner but I also wouldn’t lie for them if the partner asked me point blank. I would definitely be disinclined to continue a friendship with someone who can live a lie, it says a great deal about their character.
45 comments
I would no longer be friends with them and their partner would be informed.
Obviously there are always other things to consider but generally speaking making the choice to cheat on their partner would be a serious blow to my ability to trust them, and I’m not really interested in having friends I don’t trust. Most likely the friendship tapers rather than blows up, but I guess that depends on how close I am to their partner, the seriousness of their relationship, the severity of the cheating, etc.
It depends on how my friend would react to me snitching😻
When this happened to me, I just distanced myself from the friend. I chose not to tell her spouse because it was apparent they hated each other and she figured he was having his own affair. I just stepped away from the whole mess
I don’t tell but if it’s making me uncomfortable I make sure to distance myself. Most likely they’re going through something tho
So here we go. I have a close family member that has been having an affair with a married man. Its not their first rodeo either of having an affair with a married man. But this affair has been going on for about 10 years. The whole thing is disgusting. I’ve voiced numerous times that its terrible what they are doing. This family member keeps dismissing it, saying “oh its fine they don’t even love each other anymore”, and other excuses to make them feel better about what they are doing.
I can’t just cut them out of my life because of it. They’re family, I would never rat on them even though I highly highly disapprove of the whole thing. One day, the truth will come out, it always does.
Same goes for a friend. All my friends i’ve known for a very long time, 15+ years. I would never rat on any of them, but I would tell them what they are doing is awful and would just tell them to get a divorce already.
I just don’t understand how people can live like that. I don’t know how people can look themselves in the mirror and be okay with having an affair and feel they are living an honest good life, they’re clearly not. Its awful.
Depends on the exact situation.
Honestly? I’d lose a ton of respect. If they can betray someone they claim to love, what stops them from screwing me over too?🫠
Probably encourage them…all their husbands are dumb.
I would not care. I don’t think cheating is good or anything like that, but it’s not a reason for me to stop being friends with someone.
I wouldn’t be able to stay friends with them unless they confessed to their partner and accepted the consequences. I just wouldn’t be able to respect someone who kept making choices to lie to someone so close to them.
I was there. We were young and I helped my bff with the cover ups. Definitely not proud of it.
Now that I am older, I would not enable it. But I am a firm believer that friends should not judge friends. Someone who judges or feel morally superior to their bff, deserves no friends at all.
I would stand there, hearing what they want to share, and ready to support facing the consequences.
i think it depends on my relationship with them. the closer the friendship, the deeper and more profoundly i think it would disturb me. especially if it was my best friend, i would be absolutely heartbroken.
regardless, however, i would tell their partner, i think i would feel some level of repsonsibility.
I’d be curious and understand it’s not always straight forward in the reality, personally I wouldn’t cheat and don’t condone it but I’d listen to my friend and be for them as chances are they need someone to help guide them as to why their cheating in the first place
Would depend vastly on the circumstances. There’s no way for me to answer this without knowing why my friend is cheating and why they didn’t just end the relationship before pursuing someone else (in some cases abuse is a factor).
I’d immediately lose respect for them and end the friendship.
I actually had a friend repeatedly mention wanting to visit a male **internet** friend (🙄) while we were on vacation in the same country that he lives in. We were at a resort, and thank the freaking heavens that he lived too far away, because she was practically begging me to go with her to see him.
And the joke is, every single day of the vacation she talked about her bf and how madly in love she is with him. 🙄 *Mmkay*. Needless to say, I had to talk some serious sense in her while also trying to enjoy my vacation.
Pro tip: NEVER go on vacation with a heavily male-centered friend.
There would no longer be a friendship and I would tell the partner and recommend they get tested.
I would no longer be their friend and I would tell their spouse immediately.
Oof. My best friend and her fiancé have been my friends for 20 years. It would be devastating.
I try not to make friends with people that would do that, but let’s say that they go off the deep end with a mid-life crisis. We’re going to have a conversation about why they made that choice and how to be accountable in their relationship. Their actions afterwards would have a huge impact on our friendship. People make mistakes, sure, but making excuses for their actions isn’t acceptable behavior.
I’d tell them that I considered that unethical and distance myself from the friendship which would probably end altogether not long afterwards. I consider people’s choices an indicator of their character and integrity. In the case of someone making a choice to cheat rather than handling their relationship issues ethically, I would consider it a demonstration of their values. It’s messy, unkind, and unnecessary, and I’m not interested in being involved with someone who is ok with it.
I’ll support my friends in leaving their bad relationships, but I won’t support them in contributing to one by treating their partner like that. If they need out, I’m there. If they prefer to lie and manipulate their partner than leave with integrity, I’m not staying for that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with consensual non-monogamy, but there’s plenty wrong with non-consensual non-monogamy.
i know it’s not a popular opinion. but i don’t care.
S/he cheated of their partner ? so what ?
but i’m 40’s and at this point i’ve been both cheated when i was young, and cheated on. so yes. people cheat. is it the best way to manage things ? probably not. but also i don’t know the details of their life so i’m not judging.
well honestly, it would definitely change how I see them. I’m not sure I’d end the friendship immediately, but I’d feel uncomfortable knowing they’re okay with hurting someone like that. It would make me question their values.
Honestly, it’s none of my business what she does with her life. These are her choices and I’ll just be there to pick up the pieces when and if they fall.
Depends on what the relationship is like. I come from somewhere where most marriages inevitably end up being miserable for women sooner or later. And I’m not someone who advocates for my friends staying faithful to a parasite who takes too much and gives back nothing. But for the most part, I’m not a fan of cheaters and it definitely makes me question someone’s character if they decide to go running around behind their partner’s back instead of addressing and resolving their issues the conventional way. So far, I’ve never had a friend who cheated on their partner. Only a few who got cheated on.
Are they in an abusive relationship that they can’t leave currently? I’d still be miffed but I’d help them plan an exit and a break up.
Any other scenario? I’d distance myself entirely, probably would cut them off, and I’d inform their partner.
Cheating is abhorrent to me.
support her lol idgaf about her boyfriend and i’m not about to do any favors and insert myself
My friendship wouldn’t be impacted. I do my best to reserve judgment, esp for the people I love. I am not in her shoes. I am her friend, I would listen and give feedback if requested. Cheating is something I don’t intend to do myself. I think if any of my girlfriend’s were cheating they would be in turmoil and I wouldn’t ditch them in this scenario. I don’t think cheating would impact my trust in her.
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It’s really none of my business and has absolutely nothing to do with my friendship with that person. You never know what people are going through and it’s not your place to judge them.
I don’t think it’s an indication of their friendship with you. Maybe their partner is abusive, doesn’t show affection or she’s just generally unhappy. NOT saying cheating is the answer but it’s not black and white and I wouldn’t end a friendship over it. But I would encourage her to leave her partner or come clean. Ultimately it isn’t my business though
That friendship ended in a firefly blaze. Told her off and shamed her for it, and kicked her ass to the curb since we were just as close to her husband we were her.
I dont associate with garbage.
The first time it happened I was her confidant. I was her friend first and foremost. It became hard as our families were close and spent a lot of time together including trips. The second time, I became the doormat friend. I was introduced to #2 at her annual Halloween party and reflexively tossed my drink in the guys face. That’s when things between her and I started to slide. The THIRD GUY, I was out. Yeah, yeah lemme hear it. 3!?! Yes. I remained her friend while she cheated on her husband, who was a dear friend, 3 times. She had me wrapped in her web of lies and was a very close, very toxic, friend and business partner. And I learned a hard lesson.
It wouldn’t really be affected. Especially if they aren’t asking for my advice or input or wanting me to cover for them. I don’t meddle in my friend’s relationships or morality police them like that.
My friend grew up in a strict cult and married a somewhat okay guy. Ten years later she was moved from her bubble, allowed to see the world, make changes for herself. She feels a lot more attracted to women and feels herself to be poly. She’s been open with her husband about this for over 5 years.
Her husband is often gone for long periods of time, 6-10 months. When he returns he has no interest in sex. He does love her but she has a high need for sex and he isn’t interested. He’s also gained about 200lbs. Sometimes he says she’s allowed to have a girlfriend, then he changes his mind. She’s said he can do what he wants as well but he isn’t interested.
When she first opened up to me I was horrified, I’m friends with them both. She is honest with him but I also see that she feels suicidal at times because she feels so trapped. She loves him too much to leave but can’t. Eventually I trust they will both realize this marriage isn’t what’s best for both of them. For her mental health I have stuck around I just may not take her advice.
I remember being married and my husband hadn’t had sex with me for 8 years and he was so negative and awful to live with I asked him to go find someone. I thought maybe if he could just find some happiness it would be better for both of us, and with two toddlers I just couldn’t leave yet. I get it.
I’ve had a bunch of women co workers do this. I stopped talking to them and when I was asked what was wrong (I am a married woman with 4 children), I professionally explained that I was not comfortable knowing the details of their personal life any longer and wished to have only a work relationship. Each woman I’ve encountered that chose to cheat (separate events) were pissed and every single one of them talked smack about me as if I was the bad guy. But I just can’t be buddy buddy with someone who willing is cheating on their husband and the ones the ones that angered me the most were the married women with kids. Rumors get spread and that old saying goes “birds of a feather fly together.”
As someone who’s been cheated on, I couldn’t be friends with someone who would inflict that kind of pain on the other partner.
Until you’ve been cheated on, you really have NO idea the avalanche of pain and suffering it inflicts on the other partner, especially if they were faithful and thought they were in a relationship with a trustworthy person. It is devastating.
I would try to guide her the right way and encourage her to come clean and make the right decision. And ask her why she wants to cheat instead of breaking up (does she feel unsafe?). I would still be her friend, we all have the capability of wrongdoings but that wrong doing doesn’t make us a bad person.
But it also depends, like repeated affairs, or affairs and she has a family, and/or she shows no guilt or remorse for cheating (esp if he’s a genuine person). I feel the need to cut her off. Then I’d think she’s a bad person and I don’t want someone like that in my life. I also would be worried she’s not reliable and would hurt me if an opportunity presents itself and she can gain something for it.
As for telling her partner if she did cheat.. unless if I know them, i wouldn’t but I’d definitely keep encourage to tell her partner. Some of my friend’s partners are my friend too, and I’d give them the chance to let their partners know but if they don’t tell them.. I would tell them.
My former bff was a serial cheater. There’s a good chance one or two of her kids aren’t her ex-husband’s. I considered it to be her business, tho. I was never involved in *helping* her cheat, and I wasn’t really close enough w/her husband to tell him.
I know some people will think me knowing she was cheating makes me an accomplice somehow, or a bad person for not exposing her secret. But we were all adults, with our own lives. There were no responsibilities or obligations to be her conscience.
(She got hurt feelings because *I* wouldn’t have sex with her, even before her relationship began. I was never sexually attracted to her. I always told her I don’t mess around with my friends – but honestly she was not a clean person & it kind of grossed me out).
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I don’t trust cheaters. If you’ll betray the person you’re supposed to love the most…how bad will you betray me? Cheaters are at their core immoral and untrustworthy.
I actually broke up my friend group in college over this…
There were 3 of us, and one girl admits to sleeping with this guy who was dating one of our classmates. She said she really liked him, that the guy loved her and was gonna leave his gf who he’d been with for about 1.5 years.
She was actually with someone else for a bit during that semester and I think he broke it off because he found out she was sleeping with the other girls BF. We tried to tell her not to sleep with him anymore and that he likely didn’t actually have feelings for her, but she didn’t listen.
One day I let it slip to her ex bf that she was still sleeping with this guy. The ex was mad and went and told the guys girlfriend.
The 3 of us girls (me, girl who slept with the BF, and a 3rd friend) were all in a vocal jazz group at this college. So after our performance the GF comes right up to us getting off stage (we were performing in the cafeteria) and confronts the girl who was sleeping with her BF, she was so mad, and crying too. It was actually a trainwreck, but hey maybe don’t go fucking other people’s BFs? I don’t play about that, so she kinda deserved the public confrontation.
Anyways, the GF stayed with him and eventually their relationship became a thruple because her BF “discovered he was poly and can’t get everything he needs in a relationship from 1 person.” Yeah they broke up within a year after that.
Happened with my childhood best friend. We aren’t friends anymore, and her situation ended in divorce.
I would first try to dissuade them from continuing cheating and suggest they leave the primary relationship. There’s really no excuse for cheating. Even in difficult circumstances there are other remedies.
If they chose to continue, I would distance myself from them as ultimately cheating goes against my values. I wouldn’t tell their partner but I also wouldn’t lie for them if the partner asked me point blank. I would definitely be disinclined to continue a friendship with someone who can live a lie, it says a great deal about their character.
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