What books would be a red flag if you saw them on your date’s shelf?
July 8, 2025
What books would be a red flag if you saw them on your date’s shelf?
46 comments
48 laws of power, anything written by Musk or DJT
Ayn Rand is a no from me.
48 laws of power, anything by Jordan Peterson, anything Bukowski, 50 shades of grey
Mein Kampf
honestly, none. if I saw one that I wanted to ask about, I would – once I heard their thoughts on it, then I would make a decision based on that. I wouldn’t judge people just based on what books they own before knowing how they felt about them
Anything Jordan Peterson
[removed]
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss.
There was a time in the mid to late 2000s, where every other single guy in a bar used the same stupid “techniques” to pick up girls.
Guess what? We all knew it was from this ridiculous book, dickweed!
tucker max 🤮
Mein Kampf
Hillbilly Elegy
Any of these dude bro podcaster self-help books
prepared to be downvoted but self-help books. i’m sure they’re helpful to some people but me and my homies never have any good experience with people who are into those.
Mein Kampf
The Game
Berserk, Usagi Drop and Goblin Slayer featured prominently.
I have some weird shit on my bookshelves from communications and English degrees…
Probably those peacocking manipulation books. Anything they couldn’t explain.
I love trolling bookshelves.
College classmate owned a copy of Dianetics and tried to have me read it.
I walked away from our study partner session. Could barely look at him for the rest of the semester.
Having a well-cared for and stocked bookshelf is a green flag for me. Too many dont read and if I ever did want to have children I expect them to grow up in a reading family.
If it’s just one questionable book, I would ask about it. However, if the entire shelf is filled with gross misinformation and manosphere that’s a different story.
This is from experience!!
If they ONLY have self-help books. I get having a few mixed in with other books, but Ive met 2 guys that ONLY read self-help books and they were the most narcissistic, pretentious, abusive assholes Ive ever met in my life. Absolute American Psycho type guys and they were the bfs of my close friends and I had to watch them go through years of abuse
48 Laws of Power – I literally saw this in my ex’s room. I didn’t have a good feeling about it but I left it because I thought I was overthinking it. Lo and behold, he’s a liar, cheater, manipulator, and gaslighter. He was obsessed with success and felt entitled to it. He thought he was extremely special. He also once said to me that he’s a “user and abuser”, not sure what the conversation was about; and another time, a “master manipulator and gaslighter” when telling me about how he gaslit his younger brother. Ex thought he was so cool because his brother totally believed him. He also loved to lie to people about his entire identity (name, what he’s studying, where he lives and grew up, etc.) at events when he wasn’t going to see those people again, and found it amusing to be able to lie so well. In the end I got really hurt and had to break up with him, it was so fucking hard and I’m so much sharper now.
Moral of the story: 48 Laws of Power might be a proceed-with-caution warning if you see it on someone’s bookshelf.
Tucker Max’s stupid books, Andrew Tate’s stupid books, Matt Rife’s stupid book
To Serve Man
Literally anything right-wing, pickup artist or manosphere shit, obvious pseudoscientific or anti-science/anti-intellectual drivel, or more than like, 1 or 2 self-help books. Also, anything super religious.
The only way any of these would be redeemable is if it’s clearly ironic or if it’s the exception to the rule, like if they have 90% leftist books and just a couple of right-leaning ones to better understand the other side.
I would honestly judge the bookshelf as a whole, so if it was 60%+ self help/get rich type books, then I would flee.
If it was a diverse mix of fiction and non fiction, with some controversial titles on there, I would ask them about it.
Mein Kampf
None. I think it is important to read things you both agree with and disagree with. Now if the entire shelf was full of only things that were…concerning…and nothing else, then I’d be more concerned
[removed]
The Book of Mormon 😬
A friend once told me a guy she’s talking to reads and when I asked what he reads she said Jordan Peterson 😭 definitely that
I second if he only has self-improvement, manosphere, or entrepreneurial books on his shelves
How to fuckin win friends and influence ppl..that con just fuck off. Either be a friend or dont… quit faking friendship.
[removed]
I would be more curious on what books they’ve read and their thoughts on those books. It’s difficult to judge bookshelves unless it’s a very small shelf.
Just because it’s on their shelf doesn’t mean they’ve read all of those books.
I would be concerned if it looks like they haven’t dusted their shelves off in a long time.
I appreciate seeing books on shelves. So my answer would be the absence of books.
[removed]
[removed]
The Bible
Anything related to the men’s right movement or red pill.
[removed]
Teach Your Wife to be a Widow, What to Expect when you’re Expecting
For a lot of the controversial books, circumstances around possession are huge. If it is a recent book by a living author who is doing active harm to communities, I would be asking if they are making a donation to balance out funding. If it is an older book and was required reading for some course, I’d be asking why they have kept it in their home after it has served its purpose.
Owning a copy of “Mein Kampf” because you recently completed a literature course and no library had a copy available to borrow? Okay… Holding on to a copy of “Mein Kampf” for a course you completed 5+ years ago for reasons of nostalgia? Oooh, big flag.
Anything by Ayn Rand is gonna be a no for me
I went to a guy’s condo and he had Graham Hancock books 🚩 I’m an anthropologist so I was genuinely disappointed, but ignored it since I wasn’t looking for a relationship. We ended things because we got into a huge argument about aliens building the pyramids.
If he has spent money on anything ghost-written in Donald Trump’s name I would be out of there faster than you can blink.
Not specific books but if majority of their library is simply boring it’s a major nope.
Boring for me mostly means ‘advice’ books. Self-help, get rich quick and alpha mindset types of stuff.
Any of Ayn Rand’s works (fiction and non).
I say this as someone who read Anthem at 15, and got hooked. In college, I finally met the crazy ass libertarians and conservatives that also agreed with her stuff, but who I felt were shortsighted in their understanding of rational egoism. I became disillusioned by it all, and anyone who says they like her or have any of her books, I see it as a red flag that requires immediate investigation because I don’t like surrounding myself with most people that idolize her.
46 comments
48 laws of power, anything written by Musk or DJT
Ayn Rand is a no from me.
48 laws of power, anything by Jordan Peterson, anything Bukowski, 50 shades of grey
Mein Kampf
honestly, none. if I saw one that I wanted to ask about, I would – once I heard their thoughts on it, then I would make a decision based on that. I wouldn’t judge people just based on what books they own before knowing how they felt about them
Anything Jordan Peterson
[removed]
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss.
There was a time in the mid to late 2000s, where every other single guy in a bar used the same stupid “techniques” to pick up girls.
Guess what? We all knew it was from this ridiculous book, dickweed!
tucker max 🤮
Mein Kampf
Hillbilly Elegy
Any of these dude bro podcaster self-help books
prepared to be downvoted but self-help books. i’m sure they’re helpful to some people but me and my homies never have any good experience with people who are into those.
Mein Kampf
The Game
Berserk, Usagi Drop and Goblin Slayer featured prominently.
I have some weird shit on my bookshelves from communications and English degrees…
Probably those peacocking manipulation books. Anything they couldn’t explain.
I love trolling bookshelves.
College classmate owned a copy of Dianetics and tried to have me read it.
I walked away from our study partner session. Could barely look at him for the rest of the semester.
Having a well-cared for and stocked bookshelf is a green flag for me. Too many dont read and if I ever did want to have children I expect them to grow up in a reading family.
If it’s just one questionable book, I would ask about it. However, if the entire shelf is filled with gross misinformation and manosphere that’s a different story.
This is from experience!!
If they ONLY have self-help books. I get having a few mixed in with other books, but Ive met 2 guys that ONLY read self-help books and they were the most narcissistic, pretentious, abusive assholes Ive ever met in my life. Absolute American Psycho type guys and they were the bfs of my close friends and I had to watch them go through years of abuse
48 Laws of Power – I literally saw this in my ex’s room. I didn’t have a good feeling about it but I left it because I thought I was overthinking it. Lo and behold, he’s a liar, cheater, manipulator, and gaslighter. He was obsessed with success and felt entitled to it. He thought he was extremely special. He also once said to me that he’s a “user and abuser”, not sure what the conversation was about; and another time, a “master manipulator and gaslighter” when telling me about how he gaslit his younger brother. Ex thought he was so cool because his brother totally believed him. He also loved to lie to people about his entire identity (name, what he’s studying, where he lives and grew up, etc.) at events when he wasn’t going to see those people again, and found it amusing to be able to lie so well. In the end I got really hurt and had to break up with him, it was so fucking hard and I’m so much sharper now.
Moral of the story: 48 Laws of Power might be a proceed-with-caution warning if you see it on someone’s bookshelf.
Tucker Max’s stupid books, Andrew Tate’s stupid books, Matt Rife’s stupid book
To Serve Man
Literally anything right-wing, pickup artist or manosphere shit, obvious pseudoscientific or anti-science/anti-intellectual drivel, or more than like, 1 or 2 self-help books. Also, anything super religious.
The only way any of these would be redeemable is if it’s clearly ironic or if it’s the exception to the rule, like if they have 90% leftist books and just a couple of right-leaning ones to better understand the other side.
I would honestly judge the bookshelf as a whole, so if it was 60%+ self help/get rich type books, then I would flee.
If it was a diverse mix of fiction and non fiction, with some controversial titles on there, I would ask them about it.
Mein Kampf
None. I think it is important to read things you both agree with and disagree with. Now if the entire shelf was full of only things that were…concerning…and nothing else, then I’d be more concerned
[removed]
The Book of Mormon 😬
A friend once told me a guy she’s talking to reads and when I asked what he reads she said Jordan Peterson 😭 definitely that
I second if he only has self-improvement, manosphere, or entrepreneurial books on his shelves
How to fuckin win friends and influence ppl..that con just fuck off. Either be a friend or dont… quit faking friendship.
[removed]
I would be more curious on what books they’ve read and their thoughts on those books. It’s difficult to judge bookshelves unless it’s a very small shelf.
Just because it’s on their shelf doesn’t mean they’ve read all of those books.
I would be concerned if it looks like they haven’t dusted their shelves off in a long time.
I appreciate seeing books on shelves. So my answer would be the absence of books.
[removed]
[removed]
The Bible
Anything related to the men’s right movement or red pill.
[removed]
Teach Your Wife to be a Widow, What to Expect when you’re Expecting
For a lot of the controversial books, circumstances around possession are huge. If it is a recent book by a living author who is doing active harm to communities, I would be asking if they are making a donation to balance out funding. If it is an older book and was required reading for some course, I’d be asking why they have kept it in their home after it has served its purpose.
Owning a copy of “Mein Kampf” because you recently completed a literature course and no library had a copy available to borrow? Okay… Holding on to a copy of “Mein Kampf” for a course you completed 5+ years ago for reasons of nostalgia? Oooh, big flag.
Anything by Ayn Rand is gonna be a no for me
I went to a guy’s condo and he had Graham Hancock books 🚩 I’m an anthropologist so I was genuinely disappointed, but ignored it since I wasn’t looking for a relationship. We ended things because we got into a huge argument about aliens building the pyramids.
If he has spent money on anything ghost-written in Donald Trump’s name I would be out of there faster than you can blink.
Not specific books but if majority of their library is simply boring it’s a major nope.
Boring for me mostly means ‘advice’ books. Self-help, get rich quick and alpha mindset types of stuff.
Any of Ayn Rand’s works (fiction and non).
I say this as someone who read Anthem at 15, and got hooked. In college, I finally met the crazy ass libertarians and conservatives that also agreed with her stuff, but who I felt were shortsighted in their understanding of rational egoism. I became disillusioned by it all, and anyone who says they like her or have any of her books, I see it as a red flag that requires immediate investigation because I don’t like surrounding myself with most people that idolize her.