Late bloomers (socially, professionally, romantically, etc), what’s your journey been like?
July 8, 2025
Late bloomers (socially, professionally, romantically, etc), what’s your journey been like?
12 comments
Chilled out, slow lifestyle which I appreciate and it suits my mental health. But also, pretty insecure, angry and resentful at times.
It’s hard not to compare myself and believe I don’t deserve anything nice. That’s just me tho, can’t speak for anyone else.
I was a pretty late bloomer with relationships! This is gonna be a long one, but it’s interesting and has good lessons imo.
Never seriously dated in high school, it was only ever transactional.
Him: “Hey, will you date me so that all my guy friends stop calling me gay?”
Me: “Yeah totally, we’re already friends and it’ll hopefully get guys to stop asking me out!”
This happened twice. Both times, the guy had actual feelings and was just trying to get his foot in the door. Me, being a people pleaser, didn’t fight back. Each relationship lasted two years.
Once I graduated, I realized how out of my depth I was with lack of real experience. Didn’t physically bloom until I was 19, anyways. Dated a girl long distance for a while, met up once and while she was very pretty, I realized I was straight. She also kept me hidden from everyone, as her family was heavily Christian. Pretty sure she wasn’t even that interested in me either, she tended to fetishize gay men and I was probably an act of rebellion. Whatever. Towards the end, she accused me of pulling away. I told her I was in a horrible mental state and trying not to do something dangerous. She said “I don’t care, give me attention or I’m leaving.” I left. Dated her for about a year.
Second was a man. Absolutely awful experience. Also long distance, but he was a complete man-child. Met him twice, lost my virginity to him at 23. Regret it constantly. He was narcissistic, childish, manipulative. The good times were acceptable, the bad times sent me to mental hospitals. It was an on-and-off relationship, and when I finally had enough after a year of abuse, he did his usual “charm her to get her back” thinking that it would work. When it didn’t, he cut me off entirely. He later tried to contact me to get something from me, so I blocked him. Good riddance.
After that, I was an emotional wreck. One of the guys I “dated” in high school smelled vulnerability and took advantage of me. I was desperate to be loved, and he kept pulling me around. Eventually, he said he wanted to go meet a girl he had been talking to online a couple states over. First time hearing about it. He needed to see her to “make his decision between me and her”. I finally grew some backbone and left. He threw an absolute fit, and ALL of my old high school friends hate me now from his shit-talking. I don’t care at this point, guess he got wanted he had always wanted from me.
And now I’m here. I don’t know how I managed it, but I’ve made a giant leap from “people that abuse and walk all over me” to “the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.” My boyfriend is an absolute gem. He communicates effectively, listens to my concerns and problems, inspires me to do better. He has big dreams for the future, something I never allowed myself. And he wants me to be a part of it. He sets an alarm an hour before he has to go to work so that he can cuddle me before he has to leave. He jokes, and laughs, and is goofy. My unhinged sense of humor, which I’ve always tried to hide, actually makes him incredibly happy. He loves having his head scratched and his hands rubbed, and I love doing it. If we’re driving and I see a cool looking bridge, he will turn around so we can go check it out without me even asking. He just knows.
It has been a LOT of work to get myself to a point where instead of thinking to myself, “is he looking at other girls, am I enough, is he going to leave me” to instead be relaxed and happy. I’ve always forced myself to be something that I’m not. He loves the real me. And sure, there are disagreements and conflicts, but we always work through them. We’ve been together for almost a year, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Sorry for the long post. I just never thought I’d get this far.
Er… interesting? 😂 Not a late bloomer professionally and doubt I ever will be because I’ve been on disability assistance for years (and I have a lot of shame about that… but that’s another story), but romantically/sexually I’m definitely in that category. I came from a background of a lot of shame and some repression in that realm and I also really struggled socially with my peers when I was young, and things like sex and dating really confused me and never felt like they were ‘meant for me’ somehow. Didn’t get into my first relationship until a few days before my 24th birthday. And it was still quite weird and uncomfortable for me even then, plus my first ex is asexual and that didn’t exactly help me explore and learn anything about myself. Then a few years later I realised I was bisexual. After my ex and I split, I had a relationship with another woman in my early 30s, and that’s when I finally started to become comfortable with my sexuality. That relationship came to an end too, but then I got with my now-husband and I couldn’t be happier. Sex isn’t ‘just sex’ to me, it’s such a joyful and meaningful way of connecting with someone I love and I’m really happy I’m no longer stuck in the place I was when I was young.
[removed]
Well, socially, I’m still such a loner it’s painful sometimes, same as 15 years ago. Professionally, I think I’m actually an early bloomer – been working more or less in my field since 17. And romantically? I’m essentially still a naive schoolgirl, only a bit more distrustful. I’m 30 now by the way. So I hope I haven’t stopped blooming yet. 😂
I guess the weirdest part was, that some things I was figuring out later than other girls, especially sexual things. I “learned” about sex at 13. I got my first period at 15 (almost 16 actually). I realized my sexuality around age of 18. I had my first big love at 22 and first relationship at 25. Looking back later I started to understand why people were calling me “pure” or “innocent” or “maiden”, considering how I was compared to other girls my age. 😂
I deffinetly feel like a late bloomer, didnt lose my v card until i was 25, was 25-26 when i got my first bf, and i never had a job.
The main reason is mostly due to health issues since im disabled and it has only gotten worse the last 3 years before i would hold myself back. Now i stopped caring. It also dosent helt i weigh 96 kg. I am on the track to lose it so thats great.
At least i got a bachlor degree in check
pretty rough. i’ve been in therapy for about a year and it feels like i haven’t grown much. i’ve moved out from my abusive dads house, live in my own place, and have a cat now lol. i have my own job and got a promotion back in january and im work towards the next goal.
despite all of this, ive never dated, never kissed, never gone out on a date, never had sex. it’s really hard to not be jealous or compare myself to others. i struggle badly with self esteem and constantly believe im not attractive enough to date so i just don’t try at all. i tried dating apps for a second but those didn’t seem to get me anywhere. putting yourself out there is hard and it seems impossible. i feel frustrated by reading messages on loving yourself or saying to be more confident. like no shit, but i don’t know how to do all of that.
For me, it’s been isolating. Romantically, I’m a late bloomer who lost over 100lbs. Now I’m considered attractive…which is still weird to me. Being alone has always been, “my thing.” All of my friends are paired off, in relationships, got kids, and all that jazz. I was always the odd one out- never getting hit on, asked out, etc. when I was asked out, it was a joke. My friends have always had active dating lives and I stayed away because I didn’t want to go through anymore rejection;coupled with, sexual abuse trauma. So now post weight loss there’s this pressure to start dating. I’m pushing 34 and don’t know anything about intimacy, dating, a genuine positive sexual experience, or interacting with men in general. I feel like a child. I feel so behind from other women my age.
On the flip side-I just don’t want to! I feel like the world has shown me how superficial it is. I’m at this point where I feel childish to even have desired companionship at different points in my life. I moved across the country for my job. I don’t have family or friends near me that truly understands me. I get through the loneliness by appreciating it if that makes sense. I tell myself the things that are going well in my life and how laid back it is so there’s not much to complain about. I fill my spare time with hobbies. Now, I’m trying to advance my career so I can treat myself to nicer things and experiences. Whenever I feel especially lonely or find a man attractive, I just watch a murder documentary or a couple episodes of Couples Therapy then I’m back to my senses.
It’s been jarring. I grew up being shamed and basically made to feel like no one would ever like me. I was majorly depressed when I got to college and finally got therapy.
Therapy really helped and I’ve just been getting better since then (though I’m not in therapy anymore.) i got my degree. I went on a first date at 23, and we’ve been dating ever since (4 years this year; we live together.) when I go to work, people look for me to chat and seem to like me; I haven’t really had friends since early high school, but I hang out with coworkers outside of work now too. I’ve never had an issue working, in that I’m generally a competent worker and I keep myself out of trouble, but I’ve become more confident.
It definitely hasn’t been easy or quick progress. I still have depression and anxiety; I still feel like people hate me and I doubt myself. But I think because of age (and the therapy) I’ve learned how to not hate myself. And it’s easier to take care of yourself and try to improve when you don’t hate yourself anymore. So I take my pills, I try to exercise, I eat a vegetable every now and then. And I push myself to do things that scare me.
To be honest I think I have low-key main character syndrome because of it.
I was an early bloomer for living like an adult as a teen; however once I got sober at 19 i pretty much stopped living. Left my casher job and hadnt been back to work since 2018.
I went back to school in 2021 and I just graduated, now at 26 I am entering the professional world, working on my social skills and been in a long term relationship for nearly 6 years.
I grew up in care so i felt that i needed to grow up fast, now being 26 and without resources and workers, Its a weird transition. Im very hard on myself but I try to remember the saying that you can start over at any age but don’t be discouraged because you dont know who could be in the same boat.
I feel a lot of imposter syndrome as Im a highschool drop out, recovering substance user and a person with a laundry list of diagnosis. However, this just means I understand a more vulnerable side of life that my colleagues may not acknowledge and i can offer perspective they may not consider.
Starting to get better as i realize on the daily that i am where im meant to be, even if it took a little longer. Now – on the romantic side, i feel like i should be engaged with children already buuuut im ok with waiting (most of the time).
So I was physically an early bloomer (started my period at 9 and started wearing bras at 10) and i was bullied for being the “big” kid. But for some reason I just stopped growing around the time everyone else started. So now I look like a 12 year old and im socially stunted from being bullied and not learning how to properly communicate :/
12 comments
Chilled out, slow lifestyle which I appreciate and it suits my mental health. But also, pretty insecure, angry and resentful at times.
It’s hard not to compare myself and believe I don’t deserve anything nice. That’s just me tho, can’t speak for anyone else.
I was a pretty late bloomer with relationships! This is gonna be a long one, but it’s interesting and has good lessons imo.
Never seriously dated in high school, it was only ever transactional.
Him: “Hey, will you date me so that all my guy friends stop calling me gay?”
Me: “Yeah totally, we’re already friends and it’ll hopefully get guys to stop asking me out!”
This happened twice. Both times, the guy had actual feelings and was just trying to get his foot in the door. Me, being a people pleaser, didn’t fight back. Each relationship lasted two years.
Once I graduated, I realized how out of my depth I was with lack of real experience. Didn’t physically bloom until I was 19, anyways. Dated a girl long distance for a while, met up once and while she was very pretty, I realized I was straight. She also kept me hidden from everyone, as her family was heavily Christian. Pretty sure she wasn’t even that interested in me either, she tended to fetishize gay men and I was probably an act of rebellion. Whatever. Towards the end, she accused me of pulling away. I told her I was in a horrible mental state and trying not to do something dangerous. She said “I don’t care, give me attention or I’m leaving.” I left. Dated her for about a year.
Second was a man. Absolutely awful experience. Also long distance, but he was a complete man-child. Met him twice, lost my virginity to him at 23. Regret it constantly. He was narcissistic, childish, manipulative. The good times were acceptable, the bad times sent me to mental hospitals. It was an on-and-off relationship, and when I finally had enough after a year of abuse, he did his usual “charm her to get her back” thinking that it would work. When it didn’t, he cut me off entirely. He later tried to contact me to get something from me, so I blocked him. Good riddance.
After that, I was an emotional wreck. One of the guys I “dated” in high school smelled vulnerability and took advantage of me. I was desperate to be loved, and he kept pulling me around. Eventually, he said he wanted to go meet a girl he had been talking to online a couple states over. First time hearing about it. He needed to see her to “make his decision between me and her”. I finally grew some backbone and left. He threw an absolute fit, and ALL of my old high school friends hate me now from his shit-talking. I don’t care at this point, guess he got wanted he had always wanted from me.
And now I’m here. I don’t know how I managed it, but I’ve made a giant leap from “people that abuse and walk all over me” to “the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.” My boyfriend is an absolute gem. He communicates effectively, listens to my concerns and problems, inspires me to do better. He has big dreams for the future, something I never allowed myself. And he wants me to be a part of it. He sets an alarm an hour before he has to go to work so that he can cuddle me before he has to leave. He jokes, and laughs, and is goofy. My unhinged sense of humor, which I’ve always tried to hide, actually makes him incredibly happy. He loves having his head scratched and his hands rubbed, and I love doing it. If we’re driving and I see a cool looking bridge, he will turn around so we can go check it out without me even asking. He just knows.
It has been a LOT of work to get myself to a point where instead of thinking to myself, “is he looking at other girls, am I enough, is he going to leave me” to instead be relaxed and happy. I’ve always forced myself to be something that I’m not. He loves the real me. And sure, there are disagreements and conflicts, but we always work through them. We’ve been together for almost a year, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Sorry for the long post. I just never thought I’d get this far.
Er… interesting? 😂 Not a late bloomer professionally and doubt I ever will be because I’ve been on disability assistance for years (and I have a lot of shame about that… but that’s another story), but romantically/sexually I’m definitely in that category. I came from a background of a lot of shame and some repression in that realm and I also really struggled socially with my peers when I was young, and things like sex and dating really confused me and never felt like they were ‘meant for me’ somehow. Didn’t get into my first relationship until a few days before my 24th birthday. And it was still quite weird and uncomfortable for me even then, plus my first ex is asexual and that didn’t exactly help me explore and learn anything about myself. Then a few years later I realised I was bisexual. After my ex and I split, I had a relationship with another woman in my early 30s, and that’s when I finally started to become comfortable with my sexuality. That relationship came to an end too, but then I got with my now-husband and I couldn’t be happier. Sex isn’t ‘just sex’ to me, it’s such a joyful and meaningful way of connecting with someone I love and I’m really happy I’m no longer stuck in the place I was when I was young.
[removed]
Well, socially, I’m still such a loner it’s painful sometimes, same as 15 years ago. Professionally, I think I’m actually an early bloomer – been working more or less in my field since 17. And romantically? I’m essentially still a naive schoolgirl, only a bit more distrustful. I’m 30 now by the way. So I hope I haven’t stopped blooming yet. 😂
I guess the weirdest part was, that some things I was figuring out later than other girls, especially sexual things. I “learned” about sex at 13. I got my first period at 15 (almost 16 actually). I realized my sexuality around age of 18. I had my first big love at 22 and first relationship at 25. Looking back later I started to understand why people were calling me “pure” or “innocent” or “maiden”, considering how I was compared to other girls my age. 😂
I deffinetly feel like a late bloomer, didnt lose my v card until i was 25, was 25-26 when i got my first bf, and i never had a job.
The main reason is mostly due to health issues since im disabled and it has only gotten worse the last 3 years before i would hold myself back. Now i stopped caring. It also dosent helt i weigh 96 kg. I am on the track to lose it so thats great.
At least i got a bachlor degree in check
pretty rough. i’ve been in therapy for about a year and it feels like i haven’t grown much. i’ve moved out from my abusive dads house, live in my own place, and have a cat now lol. i have my own job and got a promotion back in january and im work towards the next goal.
despite all of this, ive never dated, never kissed, never gone out on a date, never had sex. it’s really hard to not be jealous or compare myself to others. i struggle badly with self esteem and constantly believe im not attractive enough to date so i just don’t try at all. i tried dating apps for a second but those didn’t seem to get me anywhere. putting yourself out there is hard and it seems impossible. i feel frustrated by reading messages on loving yourself or saying to be more confident. like no shit, but i don’t know how to do all of that.
For me, it’s been isolating. Romantically, I’m a late bloomer who lost over 100lbs. Now I’m considered attractive…which is still weird to me. Being alone has always been, “my thing.” All of my friends are paired off, in relationships, got kids, and all that jazz. I was always the odd one out- never getting hit on, asked out, etc. when I was asked out, it was a joke. My friends have always had active dating lives and I stayed away because I didn’t want to go through anymore rejection;coupled with, sexual abuse trauma. So now post weight loss there’s this pressure to start dating. I’m pushing 34 and don’t know anything about intimacy, dating, a genuine positive sexual experience, or interacting with men in general. I feel like a child. I feel so behind from other women my age.
On the flip side-I just don’t want to! I feel like the world has shown me how superficial it is. I’m at this point where I feel childish to even have desired companionship at different points in my life. I moved across the country for my job. I don’t have family or friends near me that truly understands me. I get through the loneliness by appreciating it if that makes sense. I tell myself the things that are going well in my life and how laid back it is so there’s not much to complain about. I fill my spare time with hobbies. Now, I’m trying to advance my career so I can treat myself to nicer things and experiences. Whenever I feel especially lonely or find a man attractive, I just watch a murder documentary or a couple episodes of Couples Therapy then I’m back to my senses.
It’s been jarring. I grew up being shamed and basically made to feel like no one would ever like me. I was majorly depressed when I got to college and finally got therapy.
Therapy really helped and I’ve just been getting better since then (though I’m not in therapy anymore.) i got my degree. I went on a first date at 23, and we’ve been dating ever since (4 years this year; we live together.) when I go to work, people look for me to chat and seem to like me; I haven’t really had friends since early high school, but I hang out with coworkers outside of work now too. I’ve never had an issue working, in that I’m generally a competent worker and I keep myself out of trouble, but I’ve become more confident.
It definitely hasn’t been easy or quick progress. I still have depression and anxiety; I still feel like people hate me and I doubt myself. But I think because of age (and the therapy) I’ve learned how to not hate myself. And it’s easier to take care of yourself and try to improve when you don’t hate yourself anymore. So I take my pills, I try to exercise, I eat a vegetable every now and then. And I push myself to do things that scare me.
To be honest I think I have low-key main character syndrome because of it.
I was an early bloomer for living like an adult as a teen; however once I got sober at 19 i pretty much stopped living. Left my casher job and hadnt been back to work since 2018.
I went back to school in 2021 and I just graduated, now at 26 I am entering the professional world, working on my social skills and been in a long term relationship for nearly 6 years.
I grew up in care so i felt that i needed to grow up fast, now being 26 and without resources and workers, Its a weird transition. Im very hard on myself but I try to remember the saying that you can start over at any age but don’t be discouraged because you dont know who could be in the same boat.
I feel a lot of imposter syndrome as Im a highschool drop out, recovering substance user and a person with a laundry list of diagnosis. However, this just means I understand a more vulnerable side of life that my colleagues may not acknowledge and i can offer perspective they may not consider.
Starting to get better as i realize on the daily that i am where im meant to be, even if it took a little longer. Now – on the romantic side, i feel like i should be engaged with children already buuuut im ok with waiting (most of the time).
So I was physically an early bloomer (started my period at 9 and started wearing bras at 10) and i was bullied for being the “big” kid. But for some reason I just stopped growing around the time everyone else started. So now I look like a 12 year old and im socially stunted from being bullied and not learning how to properly communicate :/