Women of Reddit, what grudge have you been holding?
June 26, 2025
Women of Reddit, what grudge have you been holding?
35 comments
This was over 5 years ago:
My sibling passed around holidays. Decided to do the funeral in our mother land. While I was there my partner reached out to an ex (nothing happened). and a couple of days later told me she wishes to cheat on me so I can leave.
I was already down for losing a sibling in our early 20s. We haven’t lived apart for 20 ish years.
I am still with that woman. We don’t talk about it, but it’s a think I really can not get over
My grudge? WTF are there so many men on this sub answering questions – this sub is AskWomen! Do they lack an iq or are they so freaking entitled that they think it’s perfectly acceptable? It’s not – and the mods need to do a far far better job removing men’s answers. This is a space for WOMEN to answer- not men. There is an AskMen sub – go there and answer questions. No one wants the xy impoverished iq gene mansplaining on behalf of women on this sub. Seriously. Stop letting men answer questions on this sub! It’s beyond ridiculous and insulting – and I am not the only woman here who thinks that.
[removed]
So many! I do not forgive… or forget.
I’m turning 30 in a week and on my 6th birthday party a girl from my class (that I didn’t even like but my mum forced me to invite) cut off the hair of my favourite barbie. Still not over that.
I was a single teen mom at 17 due to a horrible thing that happened to me (like truly as horrible as one can possible imagine, that I had no control over) and an acquaintance of mine called the baby I was pregnant with a bastard… This person
Doesn’t know I held a grudge but I have followed this individual on Facebook. Since then I became very successful, worked incredibly hard and succeeded very young, bought multiple businesses, a house, got married and had kids on my terms and am very happy… this individual succeeded at literally nothing in the years since and is a miserable, desperate, pathetic leech of a person and I hate to say it but I can’t help but feel that he got what was coming to him.
Overheard my mother-in-law talking shit about me on the Ring doorbell (at my own house) for 45 minutes straight.
I immediately confronted her about it. I will never be able to look at her the same way again.
My ex best friend’s lowlife hometown buddies for getting him into drugs
[removed]
My siblings are way more succesful than me. Their 20s really catapulted them right into the lives they want to live while mine… I was stuck with our parents for a long time while they moved far away. I know it’s best not to compare, but it’s not easy to let go of.
I hold many grudges against my mom. She wasn’t exactly a good parent. Now something that always creeps back into my mind during summertime, is that my brother and I repeatedly got sunburnt every summer because she was too lazy to re-apply sunscreen on us. I actually spoke to her about this recently and her response essentially was “I always applied sunscreen on you once in the morning, if you got burnt despite that than that wasn’t my responsibility, I did my part”. I am terrified of getting skin cancer due to being very pale with a red untertone.
She also threw away most of my childhood stuff and about 90% of my wardrobe after I decided to stay with my dad instead of her (divorced). Some pieces were kept for her to wear. Even before that she would sometimes just take clothes of mine or shoes that she liked and I didn’t wear as often for her to keep (not borrow) without asking. She also gave my bike that I paid for myself at 10 to my cousin as a present without ever asking me. Claimed that she gifted me the bike when confronted about it.
Im 27 and I still have a grudge toward a lot of school teachers I had for the way they treated me or my other classmates.
I thought maybe one day I’d get their pov, but the older I get, the less I understand how full grown adults could bully children like that.
Patriarchy. It’s not even bc I would’ve been heavily affected by misogyny (so far), but sometimes I literally can’t sleep bc I can’t wrap my head around the fact that people have the audacity to put a person down bc she has boobs. I just can’t.
I don’t know if it’s really a grudge but pretty sure my partner hates me. I don’t feel loved, I don’t feel wanted, I don’t even think he likes me. Everything takes priority over me and he always is just so pissed off about everything. I know there was someone before me and I think if I was her instead of who I am he would treat me better. It’s 3 years in and I don’t see a future anymore. I don’t know maybe my grudge is that I’m not her.
Still salty about mean things my sister said when we were teens. I should probably get over it.
I was friends with this guy who seemed super awkward and shy. He always told me negative concerns he had about himself, every day he told me he was sad or lonely or had no one that cared about him. I didn’t mind cheering him up, but it was all we ever talked about. Every night I would send him paragraphs about how great and worthy he was, and the next night he’d ask for more assurance. It wasn’t a big deal to me until my mom passed. I let him know. He sent his condolences, then immediately started talking about how had no friends and was sad. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I told my friend group he was starting to rub me the wrong way, he was bothering me and I wanted to block him. They all told me it was cruel, I was the only friend he had, and grieving didn’t excuse me from being a decent person. So I felt bad and never blocked him.
We ended up dating a year later, and he turned out to be selfish, manipulative, a pathological liar and a cheater. I try not to resent my friends when I should’ve just went with my own gut anyway, but I wish they would’ve just listened to me instead of making me feel bad.
Oof 😓
I hold grudges against a few people who didn’t show up for me or treated me badly after I was diagnosed with advanced cancer.
The rude, trashy, dishonest bint of a property agent in charge of the last place I rented. She accused us of everything under the sun, snapped at anyone who politely asked questions or contradicted her, and refused to do any part of her job unless we quoted the tenancy laws at her. I’m aware she’s had other tenants complain to management about her being rude and unprofessional on a regular basis. I’ve never dealt with anyone like her before in my professional life.
She ultimately cost the landlord $40,000 in repairs… because when we notified her of a leak, she just yelled at us and forgot about it for a year. Somehow she’s still in charge of that property, or so I’ve heard.
I’d say “I don’t know how she holds down a job,” but her mother owns the agency, so there’s that.
Anyway, I haven’t lived there in ages… but if I were to see her car on fire at the side of the road, I’d slow down only to give her a big smile and a queenly wave.
My parents dropping charges on my abuser (17m) when I was 8 because, in my dad’s own handwriting, they “didn’t want to see the boy’s life ruined”. Fuck them, fuck him, fuck the system for even letting it happen.
Several things against my MIL, the chief of them being that while our 2nd baby was in the NICU and we were all struggling just to live day to day, she went to the beach with her friends so we had no one to watch our toddler.
My ex lied about a vasectomy which resulted in an abortion, come to find out I was one of many women that he was sleeping with and pretending to date even though he was engaged and living with his fiancée.
Told the fiancée (pretty sure she’s staying with him which makes me sad for her), got tested (am clean), and cry alone and often in my apartment.
So I am holding a grudge for a long time.
My “best friend” not being there for me when I explicitly tell her I’m struggling majorly. Even though I am constantly there for her throughout the last 10+ chaotic years of her life. Currently thinking about going no contact
I resent my mum for being arrogant now and abusive towards me within the past few years because my dad and her in-laws are better with her now. She also now has a few family members in our country. She has never stood up for her children but stands up for other people’s children. Also now that I’m dealing with hostility because my eyes look bad from all my surgeries she kicks me down instead of supporting me. She constantly calls me ugly.
Two and half years ago I stayed at my boyfriend’s sister’s place for one night and forgot my belt. It has both monetary and sentimental value plus I used it almost every day. She never even tried to give it back to me even though I’ve asked for it back immediately after realizing and several times after that. She could not care less that she never gave it back to me. I think about it often and it always makes me angry
[removed]
I still hold a grudge against my little brother for all the comments he’s made towards me over the years. He’s made me feel worse than anyone, although I have been lucky honestly. He’s made tiny comments about my appearance, some outright insults and some disguised as innocent questions. He’s also seemed to try to embarrass me around groups of people, like he wants to bring me down in people’s eyes. I hope it’s just him being a kid. I still think of comments he made back when he was like 7-8 as well as just a few years ago. He’s had a way different life than me tho so I try to be understanding; it’s just hard to get past that sometimes. Anytime I’m around him, I’m kinda on guard. It just sucks because I’ve always been there for him more than anyone, and it’s like he punishes me for it lol
The way my family treated me was unacceptable. Since then I’ve moved so far across the US that they never see me. They will never know I’m getting married, they won’t know I’m having a baby, they won’t know I’m changing my name, ect. They still will get their 2 times a year call and I’ll be greyrocking them till they die.
I’ll never forgive them or forget why they deserve this.
At my wedding two years ago (my first marriage at 51) I went to great lengths to keep my friends alcoholic husband from doing anything stupid. He managed to bypass many “hurdles” I had set, and ruined my special dance with my 100-year-old grandmother. She had always told me about a certain song that she would play while dancing with me as a toddler, so I had the DJ play that song so we could dance together. The drunken asshole got past everyone watching him, and practically jumped in between us to “dance”. I was heartbroken that he ruined the moment, and I’ve never forgiven that drunken, ugly, bald headed asshole to this day.
I have an ongoing grudge against people who don’t know how to properly merge and drive below the speed limit. I travel outside of the city for work, and the amount of time I had near-miss accidents makes me wanna scream.
They stopped making the gold wrapper peanut butter bon bons that you could buy at Walmart for $1. Still not over it. My childhood treasure is gone forever.
That most of our shared friends took my ex bfs side when we broke up, not believing that he was abusive. This was a couple decades ago, and I don’t keep in touch with any of them anymore, but it still makes me irritated when I think of it
[removed]
when i was 11 i met this girl in and we had a mutual friend. trio friend groups never end well. Mutual friend chooses other girl over me (i was never asking her to choose).
when I’d sit next to mutual friend, other girl flipped a whole table in 7th grade. I’d still be cordial to her because I avoid drama.
When i was 15, other girl is still in my school. I have a cheating freak of a boyfriend. When BF and i break up we remain friends and laugh at our past relationship. However, ex-BF being the freak that he is, is friends with every other girl in the universe apparently. Including other girl, from 6th grade.
During our post relationship friendship, Ex-Bf and I still have each other phones passwords. I text his friends back while he’s driving. I open his phone to “[other girl] is typing….” and he doesn’t care so i look at the chat.
Other girl has sent him my selfie. Calls me ugly, says my eyebrows look like shit.
Im done being cordial. Already been cheated on. You won my boyfriend, you won my mutual friend that i loved dearly (who I didn’t ask! For! Ownership of! In the first place!)
I keep this info to myself, ex-bf blocks her out of solidarity to me. Even though he cheated, name calling I guess crossed a line?
Anyways. Lunch time comes around at high school. I walk to the bathroom, and there is other girl, alone. I say to her “and bitch your eyebrows are worse than mine.”
She does not come to school for 3 weeks, rumor mill says she’s afraid I’ll whoop her ass.
Em if you see this I still hate your eyebrows
[removed]
My in laws kept contact with my husband’s abusive ex girlfriend for the first 10 months of our relationship and refused to cut contact with her when he asked them to. I never felt incredibly welcomed by them.. 5 years later I still feel weird about it
35 comments
This was over 5 years ago:
My sibling passed around holidays. Decided to do the funeral in our mother land. While I was there my partner reached out to an ex (nothing happened). and a couple of days later told me she wishes to cheat on me so I can leave.
I was already down for losing a sibling in our early 20s. We haven’t lived apart for 20 ish years.
I am still with that woman. We don’t talk about it, but it’s a think I really can not get over
My grudge? WTF are there so many men on this sub answering questions – this sub is AskWomen! Do they lack an iq or are they so freaking entitled that they think it’s perfectly acceptable? It’s not – and the mods need to do a far far better job removing men’s answers. This is a space for WOMEN to answer- not men. There is an AskMen sub – go there and answer questions. No one wants the xy impoverished iq gene mansplaining on behalf of women on this sub. Seriously. Stop letting men answer questions on this sub! It’s beyond ridiculous and insulting – and I am not the only woman here who thinks that.
[removed]
So many! I do not forgive… or forget.
I’m turning 30 in a week and on my 6th birthday party a girl from my class (that I didn’t even like but my mum forced me to invite) cut off the hair of my favourite barbie. Still not over that.
I was a single teen mom at 17 due to a horrible thing that happened to me (like truly as horrible as one can possible imagine, that I had no control over) and an acquaintance of mine called the baby I was pregnant with a bastard… This person
Doesn’t know I held a grudge but I have followed this individual on Facebook. Since then I became very successful, worked incredibly hard and succeeded very young, bought multiple businesses, a house, got married and had kids on my terms and am very happy… this individual succeeded at literally nothing in the years since and is a miserable, desperate, pathetic leech of a person and I hate to say it but I can’t help but feel that he got what was coming to him.
Overheard my mother-in-law talking shit about me on the Ring doorbell (at my own house) for 45 minutes straight.
I immediately confronted her about it. I will never be able to look at her the same way again.
My ex best friend’s lowlife hometown buddies for getting him into drugs
[removed]
My siblings are way more succesful than me. Their 20s really catapulted them right into the lives they want to live while mine… I was stuck with our parents for a long time while they moved far away. I know it’s best not to compare, but it’s not easy to let go of.
I hold many grudges against my mom. She wasn’t exactly a good parent. Now something that always creeps back into my mind during summertime, is that my brother and I repeatedly got sunburnt every summer because she was too lazy to re-apply sunscreen on us. I actually spoke to her about this recently and her response essentially was “I always applied sunscreen on you once in the morning, if you got burnt despite that than that wasn’t my responsibility, I did my part”. I am terrified of getting skin cancer due to being very pale with a red untertone.
She also threw away most of my childhood stuff and about 90% of my wardrobe after I decided to stay with my dad instead of her (divorced). Some pieces were kept for her to wear. Even before that she would sometimes just take clothes of mine or shoes that she liked and I didn’t wear as often for her to keep (not borrow) without asking. She also gave my bike that I paid for myself at 10 to my cousin as a present without ever asking me. Claimed that she gifted me the bike when confronted about it.
Im 27 and I still have a grudge toward a lot of school teachers I had for the way they treated me or my other classmates.
I thought maybe one day I’d get their pov, but the older I get, the less I understand how full grown adults could bully children like that.
Patriarchy. It’s not even bc I would’ve been heavily affected by misogyny (so far), but sometimes I literally can’t sleep bc I can’t wrap my head around the fact that people have the audacity to put a person down bc she has boobs. I just can’t.
I don’t know if it’s really a grudge but pretty sure my partner hates me. I don’t feel loved, I don’t feel wanted, I don’t even think he likes me. Everything takes priority over me and he always is just so pissed off about everything. I know there was someone before me and I think if I was her instead of who I am he would treat me better. It’s 3 years in and I don’t see a future anymore. I don’t know maybe my grudge is that I’m not her.
Still salty about mean things my sister said when we were teens. I should probably get over it.
I was friends with this guy who seemed super awkward and shy. He always told me negative concerns he had about himself, every day he told me he was sad or lonely or had no one that cared about him. I didn’t mind cheering him up, but it was all we ever talked about. Every night I would send him paragraphs about how great and worthy he was, and the next night he’d ask for more assurance. It wasn’t a big deal to me until my mom passed. I let him know. He sent his condolences, then immediately started talking about how had no friends and was sad. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I told my friend group he was starting to rub me the wrong way, he was bothering me and I wanted to block him. They all told me it was cruel, I was the only friend he had, and grieving didn’t excuse me from being a decent person. So I felt bad and never blocked him.
We ended up dating a year later, and he turned out to be selfish, manipulative, a pathological liar and a cheater. I try not to resent my friends when I should’ve just went with my own gut anyway, but I wish they would’ve just listened to me instead of making me feel bad.
Oof 😓
I hold grudges against a few people who didn’t show up for me or treated me badly after I was diagnosed with advanced cancer.
The rude, trashy, dishonest bint of a property agent in charge of the last place I rented. She accused us of everything under the sun, snapped at anyone who politely asked questions or contradicted her, and refused to do any part of her job unless we quoted the tenancy laws at her. I’m aware she’s had other tenants complain to management about her being rude and unprofessional on a regular basis. I’ve never dealt with anyone like her before in my professional life.
She ultimately cost the landlord $40,000 in repairs… because when we notified her of a leak, she just yelled at us and forgot about it for a year. Somehow she’s still in charge of that property, or so I’ve heard.
I’d say “I don’t know how she holds down a job,” but her mother owns the agency, so there’s that.
Anyway, I haven’t lived there in ages… but if I were to see her car on fire at the side of the road, I’d slow down only to give her a big smile and a queenly wave.
My parents dropping charges on my abuser (17m) when I was 8 because, in my dad’s own handwriting, they “didn’t want to see the boy’s life ruined”. Fuck them, fuck him, fuck the system for even letting it happen.
Several things against my MIL, the chief of them being that while our 2nd baby was in the NICU and we were all struggling just to live day to day, she went to the beach with her friends so we had no one to watch our toddler.
My ex lied about a vasectomy which resulted in an abortion, come to find out I was one of many women that he was sleeping with and pretending to date even though he was engaged and living with his fiancée.
Told the fiancée (pretty sure she’s staying with him which makes me sad for her), got tested (am clean), and cry alone and often in my apartment.
So I am holding a grudge for a long time.
My “best friend” not being there for me when I explicitly tell her I’m struggling majorly. Even though I am constantly there for her throughout the last 10+ chaotic years of her life. Currently thinking about going no contact
I resent my mum for being arrogant now and abusive towards me within the past few years because my dad and her in-laws are better with her now. She also now has a few family members in our country. She has never stood up for her children but stands up for other people’s children. Also now that I’m dealing with hostility because my eyes look bad from all my surgeries she kicks me down instead of supporting me. She constantly calls me ugly.
Two and half years ago I stayed at my boyfriend’s sister’s place for one night and forgot my belt. It has both monetary and sentimental value plus I used it almost every day. She never even tried to give it back to me even though I’ve asked for it back immediately after realizing and several times after that. She could not care less that she never gave it back to me. I think about it often and it always makes me angry
[removed]
I still hold a grudge against my little brother for all the comments he’s made towards me over the years. He’s made me feel worse than anyone, although I have been lucky honestly. He’s made tiny comments about my appearance, some outright insults and some disguised as innocent questions. He’s also seemed to try to embarrass me around groups of people, like he wants to bring me down in people’s eyes. I hope it’s just him being a kid. I still think of comments he made back when he was like 7-8 as well as just a few years ago. He’s had a way different life than me tho so I try to be understanding; it’s just hard to get past that sometimes. Anytime I’m around him, I’m kinda on guard. It just sucks because I’ve always been there for him more than anyone, and it’s like he punishes me for it lol
The way my family treated me was unacceptable. Since then I’ve moved so far across the US that they never see me. They will never know I’m getting married, they won’t know I’m having a baby, they won’t know I’m changing my name, ect. They still will get their 2 times a year call and I’ll be greyrocking them till they die.
I’ll never forgive them or forget why they deserve this.
At my wedding two years ago (my first marriage at 51) I went to great lengths to keep my friends alcoholic husband from doing anything stupid. He managed to bypass many “hurdles” I had set, and ruined my special dance with my 100-year-old grandmother. She had always told me about a certain song that she would play while dancing with me as a toddler, so I had the DJ play that song so we could dance together. The drunken asshole got past everyone watching him, and practically jumped in between us to “dance”. I was heartbroken that he ruined the moment, and I’ve never forgiven that drunken, ugly, bald headed asshole to this day.
I have an ongoing grudge against people who don’t know how to properly merge and drive below the speed limit. I travel outside of the city for work, and the amount of time I had near-miss accidents makes me wanna scream.
They stopped making the gold wrapper peanut butter bon bons that you could buy at Walmart for $1. Still not over it. My childhood treasure is gone forever.
That most of our shared friends took my ex bfs side when we broke up, not believing that he was abusive. This was a couple decades ago, and I don’t keep in touch with any of them anymore, but it still makes me irritated when I think of it
[removed]
when i was 11 i met this girl in and we had a mutual friend. trio friend groups never end well. Mutual friend chooses other girl over me (i was never asking her to choose).
when I’d sit next to mutual friend, other girl flipped a whole table in 7th grade. I’d still be cordial to her because I avoid drama.
When i was 15, other girl is still in my school. I have a cheating freak of a boyfriend. When BF and i break up we remain friends and laugh at our past relationship. However, ex-BF being the freak that he is, is friends with every other girl in the universe apparently. Including other girl, from 6th grade.
During our post relationship friendship, Ex-Bf and I still have each other phones passwords. I text his friends back while he’s driving. I open his phone to “[other girl] is typing….” and he doesn’t care so i look at the chat.
Other girl has sent him my selfie. Calls me ugly, says my eyebrows look like shit.
Im done being cordial. Already been cheated on. You won my boyfriend, you won my mutual friend that i loved dearly (who I didn’t ask! For! Ownership of! In the first place!)
I keep this info to myself, ex-bf blocks her out of solidarity to me. Even though he cheated, name calling I guess crossed a line?
Anyways. Lunch time comes around at high school. I walk to the bathroom, and there is other girl, alone. I say to her “and bitch your eyebrows are worse than mine.”
She does not come to school for 3 weeks, rumor mill says she’s afraid I’ll whoop her ass.
Em if you see this I still hate your eyebrows
[removed]
My in laws kept contact with my husband’s abusive ex girlfriend for the first 10 months of our relationship and refused to cut contact with her when he asked them to. I never felt incredibly welcomed by them.. 5 years later I still feel weird about it