Turning everything into a joke, not taking any accountability for their actions, avoiding serious conversations.
When he’s unemployed and refuses to even try to make ends meet.
Weaponized incompetence.
Of course you know how to do or show up for that thing without being reminded, asked, or have it explained; are you 12?
Never admits to being wrong.
When he says “I just go with the flow”. Stay AWAY from that man. Find someone who’s serious about things and makes things happen. Instead of the guy who “goes with the vibes”.
Passive aggressiveness, especially when it comes to constructive criticism, rejection or any general opposition
[removed]
When he expects the woman in his life to do everything for him.
Not taking accountability, rude to others, disrespects women, lack of emotional intelligence, and poor communication skills.
Any mom lover
When they refuse to try anything new to eat or think 90% of average, everyday meals are “disgusting “.
Like, bro, you are over 30. You can’t eat spaghetti and chicken nuggets until you die.
Perpetually on the internet meme talk and certain kinds of humor.
This is a good question tbh.. my hubby has a bit of a temper when loses in games and would sometimes throw his controller. Not at me or anyone else just chucks at a nearby stand or the ground at his feet. He’s gotten better about it and is in therapy, has medication to help a bit so he doesn’t get as mad as often. Not sure if that counts tbh..
Weaponized incompetence and actual incompetence. If you can’t cook or do your own laundry or wash yourself regularly, you need to go back to your parents’ house and not worry about dating.
Porn brain (talks and thinks about sex all the time); Emotional unavailability or instability; Doesn’t treat any woman like a proper human being; Cannot do basic adult things (e.g. cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.), including maintaining a proper hygiene
Talk too much about stupid things such as the Tate Brothers, Tariq Nasheed, and Dane Callaway. Conversations only about sports, tell you they don’t do politics while politics is doing them.
Don’t know how to use a screwdriver or a wrench. Don’t know how to do anything but know how to drink and drive and complain about women.
I forgot to add one. It’s the guy who says, “I just be trying to stay out the way.” What kind of mealy mouth talking is that? a man who’s just trying to stay out the way? that means when it really counts and I need your help, you are probably just going to be trying to stay out the way. Hand me that screwdriver and wrench. I’ll fix it my damn self, and my libido is officially dead when I look at you.
[removed]
[removed]
When he can t assume responsibility and when confronted with issues he says: yeah, but you… just pointing fingers back and forth.
Playing every evening video games for.hours instead having at least 1 evening a week with the partner.
Acting like a literal child.
Cannot plan, cannot critically think, put together an inventory list for the day, prioritize tasks, or anything requiring mental or emotional thinking without aid.
Throwing constant tantrums and emotional outbursts due to no emotional regulation. Lacking in communication skills.
To me, having these traits as an adult man is embarrassing and stunted
Not taking charge and planning when appropriate
Makes everything turned into a debate, or worse, a competition of intellectual dominance. Also when he’s insecure but then mask them with hyper-logic.
Toilet humor
Turning a 3 step solution into a 20 step solution.
Takes everything as a personal insult.
When they express their feelings through physical actions (punching a wall, hitting themselves, etc.)
Being controlling. Gaming. Being irresponsible. Not cleaning up after himself. Jealousy. Insults or pranks that are deeply hurtful, but he insists they are just ” jokes”. Picking physical fights with other men to look ” macho”.
Unable to take care of themselves. I.e. inability to clean their body properly, clean their living environment, cook, drive, make a living. Often these are mummy’s boys. They expect a woman to do all that for them. Ridiculous!
Constant porn use.
Ones with persecution complexes. Woe is him, he got bullied at thirteen, but he’s still complaining about it at thirty. They literally tell these fucking stories over and over again. In my opioid they’re using them as manipulation for pity. These are signs of very stunted, immature behavior. You will constantly have to be coddling this mf over the simplest things.
When he acts like he can’t do basic things like laundry, cooking or planning just so you’ll do it for him. That “i don’t know how” excuse is straight up weaponized incompetence.
When he fucks with my food, adding pickles to my burgers etc , drives me insane
Oooooooo this is gonna be fun:
Doesn’t help around the house
Expects you to help him manage his emotions but doesn’t do the same in return
Unreliable in any and every capacity
Constantly complains about disrespected this and that
Starts a conversation but doesn’t respond back for hours and then claims your nagging and clingy when he does it constantly
Expects sex or some other reward for any little thing he does for you
Wants to be praised for doing the simplest thing when he, himself, doesn’t do it for you when you do something
Never remembers when you have something going on
Doesn’t remember any important details about their kids
Constantly wants your attention on him and him alone
Repeatedly criticizes everything about you, esp your clothes or body.
Is constantly needing validation for the dumbest things
Consistently complains about something but makes no moves to fix or prevent it
Doesn’t bother to properly take care of themselves physically
Constantly backs out at the last minute with you but is always making sure to make time with his friends
Focused only on video games or getting high
Treats you like your stupid if you can’t think the same way they do
Saying that you’re crazy but they are the ones that are constantly doing things that make you go crazy
“All of my ex’s are crazy”
Constantly worried about how others perceive him or you as a couple
Constantly assumes he knows everything about you
Refuses to participate in any of your hobbies if they’re deemed too girly; I would also like to expand this to anything in life like work or gardening
Prefers to drink beer simply because it’s a man’s drink and doesn’t drink something that he would actually prefer
constantly listens to single pod cast bros about women and what women should be doing
Consistently needs to get drunk to have fun
Can’t cook or clean by himself
Refuses to work
And one I am currently dealing with, but not from a SO but a friend, constantly talking about their birthday MONTH and doing everything they can for that month, including using the money for bills on stupid stuff. This isn’t even a major milestone birthday like 21 or 40 or anything.
These are things from various different partners I’ve had over the years. I know I’m forgetting several things. But these are just the major ones I’ve noticed
Momma’s boy
Any man who doesn’t have basic life skills, almost like he is just treading water until a woman comes along who will do it for him ie housework, cooking, cleaning, changing his bedding, keeping on top of bills and general admin, keeps his car clean and serviced regularly. If he cannot do these basic skills, then he is not worth it, he is a man-child!!!
edit: wanted to add, if he is financially irresponsible – run. He will screw you over financially eventually too.
Making everything sexual all the time, having no respect for women or anyone that doesn’t benefit them in some way, having no ambition, lacking in kindness and consideration, not taking the initiative to learn skills to be a functioning adult (shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, occasion-appropriate attire, making doctor’s appointments, etc), not being on time often, making excuses instead of finding solutions, not caring about the wider community/world, not able or willing to engage in self reflection or difficult conversations.
For starters.
When he throes a tantrum over small things, blames other for his mistakes or expects praise for doing the bare minimum like he’s a grown up toddler.
Needing to be asked / told / reminded / nagged to do the basic fundamentals of taking care of our home or ourselves. I didn’t sign up to be your mum!!
If he has to turn everything into a laugh or constantly comes out with “hey don’t take things so serious”. Some things ARE serious.
If he won’t take accountability for his shit and apologise while expecting ME to be accountable and apologetic.
If he is incapable of hearing anything remotely negative about his actions without taking it as a huge personal attack.
If he isn’t capable of occasionally being the one to offer the olive branch or wave the white flag after an argument.
ETA when he constantly compares or likens your behaviour to his ex wife… like when you want him to take accountability and all of a sudden you’re just like his “evil” ex wife
When he’s always making “jokes” at other people’s expense.
Can’t or won’t ever cook for himself or clean his living space. Entitlement combined with lack of self awareness. Weaponized incompetence. Terrified of or beholden to do whatever his parents want instead of what he wants. Being emotionally constipated. Wearing graphic tees with vulgar or disgusting stuff on them. Super parasocial actions surrounding celebrities. Spending a lot of time arguing with people online. Personality switch up when he’s around his friends.
“Cooking is wife skill”- no it isn`t. It`s life skill. You should learn it, too.
44 comments
He winds people up when he is bored
Turning everything into a joke, not taking any accountability for their actions, avoiding serious conversations.
When he’s unemployed and refuses to even try to make ends meet.
Weaponized incompetence.
Of course you know how to do or show up for that thing without being reminded, asked, or have it explained; are you 12?
Never admits to being wrong.
When he says “I just go with the flow”. Stay AWAY from that man. Find someone who’s serious about things and makes things happen. Instead of the guy who “goes with the vibes”.
Passive aggressiveness, especially when it comes to constructive criticism, rejection or any general opposition
[removed]
When he expects the woman in his life to do everything for him.
Not taking accountability, rude to others, disrespects women, lack of emotional intelligence, and poor communication skills.
Any mom lover
When they refuse to try anything new to eat or think 90% of average, everyday meals are “disgusting “.
Like, bro, you are over 30. You can’t eat spaghetti and chicken nuggets until you die.
Perpetually on the internet meme talk and certain kinds of humor.
This is a good question tbh.. my hubby has a bit of a temper when loses in games and would sometimes throw his controller. Not at me or anyone else just chucks at a nearby stand or the ground at his feet. He’s gotten better about it and is in therapy, has medication to help a bit so he doesn’t get as mad as often. Not sure if that counts tbh..
Weaponized incompetence and actual incompetence. If you can’t cook or do your own laundry or wash yourself regularly, you need to go back to your parents’ house and not worry about dating.
Porn brain (talks and thinks about sex all the time); Emotional unavailability or instability; Doesn’t treat any woman like a proper human being; Cannot do basic adult things (e.g. cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.), including maintaining a proper hygiene
Talk too much about stupid things such as the Tate Brothers, Tariq Nasheed, and Dane Callaway. Conversations only about sports, tell you they don’t do politics while politics is doing them.
Don’t know how to use a screwdriver or a wrench. Don’t know how to do anything but know how to drink and drive and complain about women.
I forgot to add one. It’s the guy who says, “I just be trying to stay out the way.” What kind of mealy mouth talking is that? a man who’s just trying to stay out the way? that means when it really counts and I need your help, you are probably just going to be trying to stay out the way. Hand me that screwdriver and wrench. I’ll fix it my damn self, and my libido is officially dead when I look at you.
[removed]
[removed]
When he can t assume responsibility and when confronted with issues he says: yeah, but you… just pointing fingers back and forth.
Playing every evening video games for.hours instead having at least 1 evening a week with the partner.
Acting like a literal child.
Cannot plan, cannot critically think, put together an inventory list for the day, prioritize tasks, or anything requiring mental or emotional thinking without aid.
Throwing constant tantrums and emotional outbursts due to no emotional regulation. Lacking in communication skills.
To me, having these traits as an adult man is embarrassing and stunted
Not taking charge and planning when appropriate
Makes everything turned into a debate, or worse, a competition of intellectual dominance. Also when he’s insecure but then mask them with hyper-logic.
Toilet humor
Turning a 3 step solution into a 20 step solution.
Takes everything as a personal insult.
When they express their feelings through physical actions (punching a wall, hitting themselves, etc.)
Being controlling. Gaming. Being irresponsible. Not cleaning up after himself. Jealousy. Insults or pranks that are deeply hurtful, but he insists they are just ” jokes”. Picking physical fights with other men to look ” macho”.
Unable to take care of themselves. I.e. inability to clean their body properly, clean their living environment, cook, drive, make a living. Often these are mummy’s boys. They expect a woman to do all that for them. Ridiculous!
Constant porn use.
Ones with persecution complexes. Woe is him, he got bullied at thirteen, but he’s still complaining about it at thirty. They literally tell these fucking stories over and over again. In my opioid they’re using them as manipulation for pity. These are signs of very stunted, immature behavior. You will constantly have to be coddling this mf over the simplest things.
When he acts like he can’t do basic things like laundry, cooking or planning just so you’ll do it for him. That “i don’t know how” excuse is straight up weaponized incompetence.
When he fucks with my food, adding pickles to my burgers etc , drives me insane
Oooooooo this is gonna be fun:
Doesn’t help around the house
Expects you to help him manage his emotions but doesn’t do the same in return
Unreliable in any and every capacity
Constantly complains about disrespected this and that
Starts a conversation but doesn’t respond back for hours and then claims your nagging and clingy when he does it constantly
Expects sex or some other reward for any little thing he does for you
Wants to be praised for doing the simplest thing when he, himself, doesn’t do it for you when you do something
Never remembers when you have something going on
Doesn’t remember any important details about their kids
Constantly wants your attention on him and him alone
Repeatedly criticizes everything about you, esp your clothes or body.
Is constantly needing validation for the dumbest things
Consistently complains about something but makes no moves to fix or prevent it
Doesn’t bother to properly take care of themselves physically
Constantly backs out at the last minute with you but is always making sure to make time with his friends
Focused only on video games or getting high
Treats you like your stupid if you can’t think the same way they do
Saying that you’re crazy but they are the ones that are constantly doing things that make you go crazy
“All of my ex’s are crazy”
Constantly worried about how others perceive him or you as a couple
Constantly assumes he knows everything about you
Refuses to participate in any of your hobbies if they’re deemed too girly; I would also like to expand this to anything in life like work or gardening
Prefers to drink beer simply because it’s a man’s drink and doesn’t drink something that he would actually prefer
constantly listens to single pod cast bros about women and what women should be doing
Consistently needs to get drunk to have fun
Can’t cook or clean by himself
Refuses to work
And one I am currently dealing with, but not from a SO but a friend, constantly talking about their birthday MONTH and doing everything they can for that month, including using the money for bills on stupid stuff. This isn’t even a major milestone birthday like 21 or 40 or anything.
These are things from various different partners I’ve had over the years. I know I’m forgetting several things. But these are just the major ones I’ve noticed
Momma’s boy
Any man who doesn’t have basic life skills, almost like he is just treading water until a woman comes along who will do it for him ie housework, cooking, cleaning, changing his bedding, keeping on top of bills and general admin, keeps his car clean and serviced regularly. If he cannot do these basic skills, then he is not worth it, he is a man-child!!!
edit: wanted to add, if he is financially irresponsible – run. He will screw you over financially eventually too.
Making everything sexual all the time, having no respect for women or anyone that doesn’t benefit them in some way, having no ambition, lacking in kindness and consideration, not taking the initiative to learn skills to be a functioning adult (shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, occasion-appropriate attire, making doctor’s appointments, etc), not being on time often, making excuses instead of finding solutions, not caring about the wider community/world, not able or willing to engage in self reflection or difficult conversations.
For starters.
When he throes a tantrum over small things, blames other for his mistakes or expects praise for doing the bare minimum like he’s a grown up toddler.
Needing to be asked / told / reminded / nagged to do the basic fundamentals of taking care of our home or ourselves. I didn’t sign up to be your mum!!
If he has to turn everything into a laugh or constantly comes out with “hey don’t take things so serious”. Some things ARE serious.
If he won’t take accountability for his shit and apologise while expecting ME to be accountable and apologetic.
If he is incapable of hearing anything remotely negative about his actions without taking it as a huge personal attack.
If he isn’t capable of occasionally being the one to offer the olive branch or wave the white flag after an argument.
ETA when he constantly compares or likens your behaviour to his ex wife… like when you want him to take accountability and all of a sudden you’re just like his “evil” ex wife
When he’s always making “jokes” at other people’s expense.
Can’t or won’t ever cook for himself or clean his living space. Entitlement combined with lack of self awareness. Weaponized incompetence. Terrified of or beholden to do whatever his parents want instead of what he wants. Being emotionally constipated. Wearing graphic tees with vulgar or disgusting stuff on them. Super parasocial actions surrounding celebrities. Spending a lot of time arguing with people online. Personality switch up when he’s around his friends.
“Cooking is wife skill”- no it isn`t. It`s life skill. You should learn it, too.