I hate having an interest in someone. I hate having a crush and thinking about them when they’re not there in a hopeful romantic way even – it makes me feel perverted and gross and intrusive even tho the fantasies are never sexual
I hate getting nervous around them because it’s so unnecessary and gets in the way of me looking like a functioning adult. I hate having to keep myself distracted so I don’t feel creepy thinking about them when they barely know who I am . I hate wondering what they’re doing and getting the urge to go be around them and show face.
I just hate it and if there was a feature for me to turn it off I would. it’s so inconvenient
it’s also embarrassing that as a grown woman I feel this way. I feel like I’ve missed out on some romantic development pretty early on that led to this state and I’m so upset about it