In the Netherlands you can answer a question you don't know the answer to with "Al sla je me dood." (Eng.: "Even if you beat me to death.", i.e. "Even if you torture me, I wouldn't be able to answer that question.")

This seems somewhat extreme to me, so I'm curious if your language has any similar expressions, or if we're just the weirdos with casual references to corporal punishments in our language.


23 comments

  1. Some more Dutch proverbs in the same vibe:

    “Ik heb er geen kaas van gegeten” – I didn’t eat any cheese from it.
    It basically means you don’t have any knowledge of a subject and it makes as little sense in Dutch as it does in English.

    “Ik sta met een mond vol tanden” – I’m standing here with a mouth full of teeth.
    Flabbergasted. Again, doesn’t make a lot of sense in Dutch either, but we still use it.

    Back on the subject though, I have one me and my friends used to use which is related to OP’s example.
    “Al neuk je een paard” – Even if you fuck a horse.
    Not used in the Netherlands at all, but I still wanted to share it.

  2. In French, we say “Je donne ma langue au chat” (I give my tongue to the cat) when we can’t answer a riddle or a quiz question.

  3. In Hungary, you can answer “Gőzöm sincs róla.” means “I don’t even have steam about it.” and its more informal version, “Fingom sincs róla” means, “I don’t even have a fart about it.”

  4. English

    “Not a scooby”

    As in not a scooby-doo

    Which is rhyming slang for not a clue.

  5. The same exists in Hungarian (I don’t know even if I die). Also:
    – I don’t know even if you crucify me (ha megfeszítesz se tudom)
    – I don’t know even if I get disabled (ha meggebedek se tudom)

    My favorites with the same meaning (I don’t know):
    – I don’t have thin purple fume (halvány lila gőzöm sincs)
    – I don’t have a fart (fingom sincs)

  6. Not sure if it’s weird, but one self-deprecating way to say that in Cypriot Greek is “ανάθθεμάν με”, *goddamn me*.

    Im a way, it’s a straightforward equivalent to “damn if I know” in English, but because self-deprecation is rarer in Cypriot Greek, I find it more striking when it’s used.

  7. Not weird at all but when someone says “Fuck knows” to me I like to reply with “Cunt eyes”. Makes me happy at least.

  8. We have similar ones in Romanian.

    “Nici dacă mă bați/mă omori, nu aș ști”
    “Even if you kill me/beat me, I wouldn’t know”

    “Nici dacă viata mea depinde de asta, nu aș ști
    “Even if my life depends on it, I wouldn’t know.”

    We have other ways too

    “Să moară Jaxana de știu”
    “Shall Jaxana (a random name that is not even used as a name or has any relation to anything. Idk where it came from) die if I would know”

    Or (and I still don’t know why we say this often, swearing on your parents/kids/someone you know is common in different ways. I kinda know where it started from, but I don’t wanna put labels.)

    “Mă jur pe mama/tata de știu”
    “I swear on my mom/dad die if I know”

  9. The standard (albeit obscene) answer is “a dick knows”. Can’t think of any weirder ones, others are pretty normal. We do have “even if you kill me, I don’t know” but the “even if you kill me” part isn’t used on its own, only as an amplifier for various “I can’t”/”I won’t”.

  11. “Níl a fhios agam ó thalamh an domhain” in Irish literally means “I don’t know from the land of the world”

    You can also say “Níl a fhios agam beirthe ná beo” which literally means “I don’t know born or alive”

    Also “Ní thuigim é dubh, bán nó riabhach” literally means “I don’t understand it black, white or stripy”

  12. In Italy you can just say “boh”, with a closed o sound like in “over”. So simple yet so effective

  13. In Finnish, rough translations:

    “Minulla ei ole harmainta aavistustakaan” = I don’t have even the greyest hunch

    “Minulla ei ole mitään käryä” = I don’t detect smoky smell whatsoever

    “Minulla ei ole hajuakaan” = I don’t even smell anything

  16. in Lithuanian slang we say bbz or “bybis žino” which literally translates to “(dick knows)” that’s a common idk in our Lithuanian hoods

  17. Germans sometimes say: “Keinen Dunst.”

    Meaning “no vapor/fume/mist”. As in: not even having something hard to grasp like mist.

  18. In Iceland we say “ég hef ekki grænan grun” which would translate to “I don’t have a green ground”.

  20. In Spanish you can say “ni papa”, which would translate as “no potato”.

  22. Danish, a childish but valid way is “aner bananer”.

    A rhyme of the first part of a normal “I don’t know” – “aner det ikke” and banana.

  23. In Croatian: ‘Ja sam tu s biciklom’ – ‘I am here with my bike’

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