Europeans who were born in one country but raised in another, do you feel a closer connection to the culture of your parents or the place you live?
April 18, 2025
I also wanted to ask if you plan to teach your kids aspects of your parents culture.
16 comments
I feel more connected to the culture of where I live now.
Yes, I plan to incorporate a few aspects of my parents’ cultures into my kids’ lives.
Hey, born and raised the first 6 years in Poland, then moved to Germany. So I spend my whole schoolyears in Germany, and my adult life. I live German. I think German. I speak German like a native person whereas my Polish really stayed at a age 6.
Yes my children will learn Polish, eat polish food, have 12 dishes on Christmas and have hundreds of aunts, uncles, cousins across the globe where they’ll spent summer breaks.
With my family we speak Polish, my mum and grandma, aunts ect. Me and my cousins who were born in Germany speak German to each other. Their kids don’t speak Polish anymore. I was lucky I got to spend 6 years there before moving, so I can read and write ect.
Moved from the UK to the Netherlands when I was 7. Definitely Dutch now. Although I do have a full english breakfast in the weekend sometimes and like to drink my tea with milk.
Born in Denmark, 0-6
–> grew up in France 6-21
–> moved back 21-now
Lived in France with Danish mum & Scottish step-dad.
I gave up a long time ago trying to belong somewhere. I’m European lol, as corny as it sounds.
Also.. ‘it is what it is’
The country I was raised in, 100%.
Well, Yugoslavia doesn’t exist anymore, but I love Bosnia and Herzegovina and I adore my family. I’ll always be happy to visit, I’d die to protect my Bosnian family. But it’s not really my culture.
I have a very Czech sense of humour and way of thinking. My mentality is Czech. I was born a Muslim and ended up as just another Czech atheist. I just tend to be much more patriotic than most Czechs and I’m deeply grateful to this country, so that does get reflected. My children will always know our extended family and traditions, I will teach my children the language and history of the Balkans, some of my favourite family meals. But other than that, my family is Czech.
I’m Polish but when I was 7 me and my family left to live in Ireland. Lived there til 21, then studied abroad for 1 year and ages 22-26 (present) live in Switzerland.
My English (I think in English) is definitely better than my Polish (I can speak and write pretty well, but hesitate a bit) but I wouldn’t say that I feel Irish and even less so the longer I am away from Ireland. I like a lot of aspects of Irish culture but you can never know all the nitty gritty details without having Irish family. I don’t really know things like Irish legends and sayings despite spending all my school years there. The older I got, the less Irish I felt but at the same time I also knew that I wanted to leave Ireland for a ton of other reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to know whether I don’t identify as Irish at all because I simply don’t want to ever live there again, or because of not identifying with Irish culture.
You can never truly blend in as Irish with an obviously foreign name and without an Irish passport.
That said, I wouldn’t really say I feel Polish either because I don’t know much about Polish culture, jokes, saying, customs, etc. I only visited a few times since I left. Now as an adult I’m trying to read and watch a bit of Polish content online to know what’s going on a little more in my ‘homeland’.
My wife grew up in Spain, moved to the Netherlands when she was a teenager (and naturalised as an adult), and her parents are from neither country. I still have no idea what she’s going to answer when someone asks her where she’s from.
Born in Germany, moved to France at 10 years and lived there for 10 years, moved back to Germany for further 10 years, now living in Japan.
All I can say that I feel European, more than specifically French or German. In fact, I find it easier to connect with Frenchies than with Germans, as the teenage years made a big impact on my interests.
My kids are learning German through a special school and other languages through Duolingo.
As for the culture, we keep both German and Japanese traditions alive.
Eg, coloring Easter eggs together.
Born in France, lived there until 7. The rest of my life I spent in the Netherlands. I definitely feel more Dutch. This became especially clear when I followed exchange programs in other countries. I can connect to French people to some level, as I speak the language. But I always get feedback about my slight accent and my basic attitude is not French. For example I value self-deprecating humour, directness, lack of hierarchy and courtesy, efficiency, etc.
There are still things I don’t like here in the Netherlands (current politics, systemic racism, don’t stick out), but I do feel more comfortable here. And nowhere is perfect.
Moved to the UK from France aged 7.
Mostly French. My whole family is French, my culture is French, though it’s closer to the culture of my parents’ time than of my own. I get nervous interacting with French people my age due to that, but have no issues with older French people. Food, fashion, etc. are much more French-like in me than English. I never watched English TV and read a mix of English and French books.
I think in English since I live with my Flemish partner and we speak English together, and live in Flanders where I speak English daily. My French is perfectly fluent, whether spoken, written or thought.
Education though is fully English. I know embarassingly little of French history and classic literature. I know far too much about the Tudors.
English people pick up fairly quickly that I’m not English. French people can slowly clock me as maybe not fully French over time, especially if they’re my age.
My kids will speak French, no questions asked, they will be French citizens, maybe UK citizens if I feel the need for that.
I have UK citizenship since recently (Brexit forced our hands…) but I don’t and probably will never consider myself English. Not due to any negative reason, just cos it’s not me.
Ah… My mother is German my father is Egyptian. I was born in Saudi Arabia, but when I was 3 ½ we moved to Germany. My first language is German and so is half of my family. On the other hand when it comes to culture, I feel like I was more raised with egyptian culture. Society treats me as Arab, not as German. Overall, I feel more arab than German.
For my future kids, I primerely want to teach them my religion, both languages and for culture, just how I grew up.
Born in the US but moved to the UK (England, near London) aged 2 and lived there till I was 25. I sound very much English, did all my education in England and worked in England till I left. I have an English father but an American mother so I still get called a sort of yank by ppl I know (you’d have no idea if you didn’t know me or met my mother). I definitely feel far more English than American (although definitely more European nowadays. I love living in Sweden), even if I struggle to accept the status and standing of the country.
[removed]
Born in Hungary, raised in Sweden with Hungarian parents. Let’s just say that the developments in Hungary the last 20 years have made me distance myself from that country to the point that I’m hesitant to visit it with my kids.
I feel I was made to answer that question in a somewhat extreme way 🙂
Born in Italy, elementary school in UK, then boarding school in Germany in Swiss, with family then living in Spain. Finished school in Germany. Studied in Spain and Germany with 2 semesters abroad in Netherlands and France. By that time my dad had moved to China and my mom to Finland. So that’s where I spent my holidays. My dad now lives in Italy, my mom in Germany and Finland. I’m currently in Spain. My sister in the UK. We meet in France in summer.
We always spoke the language of the country we were currently living in. My parents were very strict with learning the local language and being part of the community.
At the same time, my parents respectively taught us their mother language. English and German (mom), Italian and Spanish (dad).
We moved so many times, I feel at home in a lot of places. What I don’t have are “roots”.
There’s a few places I “come home to” but none that’s THE ONE.
Both my parents are “mutts”, how we like to call ourselves, my mom half German half British, my dad half Sicilian half Argentinian.
We kids always called ourselves Europeans. We connect with many places and countries. And speak a couple languages. And we always moved and travelled a lot.
So what’s our identity? Well, that. We’re all of those. It’s always funny when people ask the simple question where are you from? What are we talking about, where I was born, raised, where my parents are from, where I live? Where I work? There’s different answers.
And while I sometimes envy people who have one home, a place they can go back to, a clearly defined cultural identity, and a biography that is so much more steady and linear than mine, I’m proud of our lifestyle, how we easily adapt and move between countries and cultures, and the experiences we can share.
And as to teaching your kids, like I mentioned my parents taught us all the languages and helped us connecting with the culture we were living in.
I have more than one job today, maybe that’s also fruit of that lifestyle, one of them is private language teacher. I love helping people discovering new paths, settling down in a new place, inventing themselves new. Most of my clients are people who move to a new country, families, execs, expats, immigrants, adventurous people. Sometimes a whole company.
So tldr, the more cultures you’re exposed to, the bigger the tree grows. You just add new worlds, you don’t categorize or rank them anymore. They all become a part of you.
I’ve really enjoyed reading the stories in this thread—so many kindred souls! Thought I’d share mine too.
My father is Italian, my mother is Croatian (though technically, she left her homeland when it was still Yugoslavia). They met in Britain, and that’s where I was born and raised, all the way through university. I suppose that makes me one of those so-called “third culture kids.”
I speak all three languages fluently, though the way I use them varies: I can only write academic papers in English—doing it in the other two would feel uncomfortable. I have a pretty strong Yorkshire accent in English, a slightly foreign-sounding Italian, and a regional Croatian that often makes people chuckle because I still speak a version of the language from before Yugoslavia broke up (if you know, you know).
I’ve always been hyper-aware—probably made hyper-aware—of my linguistic identity, but never really struggled with my cultural one. I feel like I belong to all three countries… and to none of them at the same time.
As an adult, I moved to Italy to teach English, but I feel a slightly deeper emotional connection to the Croatian side of my family. My manners and sense of humour are definitely more British, but deep down, my core is Mediterranean.
I’m also quite idealistic about Europe—I feel genuinely European (as corny as it sounds) and very much at home wherever I go on the continent. That’s why Brexit hit me so hard. It still does, to be honest—I haven’t fully come to terms with it.
One thing I really appreciate about my personal European identity is that it’s what I’d call a “weak” identity, in a positive sense. It’s made me allergic to nationalism, jingoism, and imperialism, and I’m genuinely happy about that.
16 comments
I feel more connected to the culture of where I live now.
Yes, I plan to incorporate a few aspects of my parents’ cultures into my kids’ lives.
Hey, born and raised the first 6 years in Poland, then moved to Germany. So I spend my whole schoolyears in Germany, and my adult life. I live German. I think German. I speak German like a native person whereas my Polish really stayed at a age 6.
Yes my children will learn Polish, eat polish food, have 12 dishes on Christmas and have hundreds of aunts, uncles, cousins across the globe where they’ll spent summer breaks.
With my family we speak Polish, my mum and grandma, aunts ect. Me and my cousins who were born in Germany speak German to each other. Their kids don’t speak Polish anymore. I was lucky I got to spend 6 years there before moving, so I can read and write ect.
Moved from the UK to the Netherlands when I was 7. Definitely Dutch now. Although I do have a full english breakfast in the weekend sometimes and like to drink my tea with milk.
Born in Denmark, 0-6
–> grew up in France 6-21
–> moved back 21-now
Lived in France with Danish mum & Scottish step-dad.
I gave up a long time ago trying to belong somewhere. I’m European lol, as corny as it sounds.
Also.. ‘it is what it is’
The country I was raised in, 100%.
Well, Yugoslavia doesn’t exist anymore, but I love Bosnia and Herzegovina and I adore my family. I’ll always be happy to visit, I’d die to protect my Bosnian family. But it’s not really my culture.
I have a very Czech sense of humour and way of thinking. My mentality is Czech. I was born a Muslim and ended up as just another Czech atheist. I just tend to be much more patriotic than most Czechs and I’m deeply grateful to this country, so that does get reflected. My children will always know our extended family and traditions, I will teach my children the language and history of the Balkans, some of my favourite family meals. But other than that, my family is Czech.
I’m Polish but when I was 7 me and my family left to live in Ireland. Lived there til 21, then studied abroad for 1 year and ages 22-26 (present) live in Switzerland.
My English (I think in English) is definitely better than my Polish (I can speak and write pretty well, but hesitate a bit) but I wouldn’t say that I feel Irish and even less so the longer I am away from Ireland. I like a lot of aspects of Irish culture but you can never know all the nitty gritty details without having Irish family. I don’t really know things like Irish legends and sayings despite spending all my school years there. The older I got, the less Irish I felt but at the same time I also knew that I wanted to leave Ireland for a ton of other reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to know whether I don’t identify as Irish at all because I simply don’t want to ever live there again, or because of not identifying with Irish culture.
You can never truly blend in as Irish with an obviously foreign name and without an Irish passport.
That said, I wouldn’t really say I feel Polish either because I don’t know much about Polish culture, jokes, saying, customs, etc. I only visited a few times since I left. Now as an adult I’m trying to read and watch a bit of Polish content online to know what’s going on a little more in my ‘homeland’.
My wife grew up in Spain, moved to the Netherlands when she was a teenager (and naturalised as an adult), and her parents are from neither country. I still have no idea what she’s going to answer when someone asks her where she’s from.
Born in Germany, moved to France at 10 years and lived there for 10 years, moved back to Germany for further 10 years, now living in Japan.
All I can say that I feel European, more than specifically French or German. In fact, I find it easier to connect with Frenchies than with Germans, as the teenage years made a big impact on my interests.
My kids are learning German through a special school and other languages through Duolingo.
As for the culture, we keep both German and Japanese traditions alive.
Eg, coloring Easter eggs together.
Born in France, lived there until 7. The rest of my life I spent in the Netherlands. I definitely feel more Dutch. This became especially clear when I followed exchange programs in other countries. I can connect to French people to some level, as I speak the language. But I always get feedback about my slight accent and my basic attitude is not French. For example I value self-deprecating humour, directness, lack of hierarchy and courtesy, efficiency, etc.
There are still things I don’t like here in the Netherlands (current politics, systemic racism, don’t stick out), but I do feel more comfortable here. And nowhere is perfect.
Moved to the UK from France aged 7.
Mostly French. My whole family is French, my culture is French, though it’s closer to the culture of my parents’ time than of my own. I get nervous interacting with French people my age due to that, but have no issues with older French people. Food, fashion, etc. are much more French-like in me than English. I never watched English TV and read a mix of English and French books.
I think in English since I live with my Flemish partner and we speak English together, and live in Flanders where I speak English daily. My French is perfectly fluent, whether spoken, written or thought.
Education though is fully English. I know embarassingly little of French history and classic literature. I know far too much about the Tudors.
English people pick up fairly quickly that I’m not English. French people can slowly clock me as maybe not fully French over time, especially if they’re my age.
My kids will speak French, no questions asked, they will be French citizens, maybe UK citizens if I feel the need for that.
I have UK citizenship since recently (Brexit forced our hands…) but I don’t and probably will never consider myself English. Not due to any negative reason, just cos it’s not me.
Ah… My mother is German my father is Egyptian. I was born in Saudi Arabia, but when I was 3 ½ we moved to Germany. My first language is German and so is half of my family. On the other hand when it comes to culture, I feel like I was more raised with egyptian culture. Society treats me as Arab, not as German. Overall, I feel more arab than German.
For my future kids, I primerely want to teach them my religion, both languages and for culture, just how I grew up.
Born in the US but moved to the UK (England, near London) aged 2 and lived there till I was 25. I sound very much English, did all my education in England and worked in England till I left. I have an English father but an American mother so I still get called a sort of yank by ppl I know (you’d have no idea if you didn’t know me or met my mother). I definitely feel far more English than American (although definitely more European nowadays. I love living in Sweden), even if I struggle to accept the status and standing of the country.
[removed]
Born in Hungary, raised in Sweden with Hungarian parents. Let’s just say that the developments in Hungary the last 20 years have made me distance myself from that country to the point that I’m hesitant to visit it with my kids.
I feel I was made to answer that question in a somewhat extreme way 🙂
Born in Italy, elementary school in UK, then boarding school in Germany in Swiss, with family then living in Spain. Finished school in Germany. Studied in Spain and Germany with 2 semesters abroad in Netherlands and France. By that time my dad had moved to China and my mom to Finland. So that’s where I spent my holidays. My dad now lives in Italy, my mom in Germany and Finland. I’m currently in Spain. My sister in the UK. We meet in France in summer.
We always spoke the language of the country we were currently living in. My parents were very strict with learning the local language and being part of the community.
At the same time, my parents respectively taught us their mother language. English and German (mom), Italian and Spanish (dad).
We moved so many times, I feel at home in a lot of places. What I don’t have are “roots”.
There’s a few places I “come home to” but none that’s THE ONE.
Both my parents are “mutts”, how we like to call ourselves, my mom half German half British, my dad half Sicilian half Argentinian.
We kids always called ourselves Europeans. We connect with many places and countries. And speak a couple languages. And we always moved and travelled a lot.
So what’s our identity? Well, that. We’re all of those. It’s always funny when people ask the simple question where are you from? What are we talking about, where I was born, raised, where my parents are from, where I live? Where I work? There’s different answers.
And while I sometimes envy people who have one home, a place they can go back to, a clearly defined cultural identity, and a biography that is so much more steady and linear than mine, I’m proud of our lifestyle, how we easily adapt and move between countries and cultures, and the experiences we can share.
And as to teaching your kids, like I mentioned my parents taught us all the languages and helped us connecting with the culture we were living in.
I have more than one job today, maybe that’s also fruit of that lifestyle, one of them is private language teacher. I love helping people discovering new paths, settling down in a new place, inventing themselves new. Most of my clients are people who move to a new country, families, execs, expats, immigrants, adventurous people. Sometimes a whole company.
So tldr, the more cultures you’re exposed to, the bigger the tree grows. You just add new worlds, you don’t categorize or rank them anymore. They all become a part of you.
I’ve really enjoyed reading the stories in this thread—so many kindred souls! Thought I’d share mine too.
My father is Italian, my mother is Croatian (though technically, she left her homeland when it was still Yugoslavia). They met in Britain, and that’s where I was born and raised, all the way through university. I suppose that makes me one of those so-called “third culture kids.”
I speak all three languages fluently, though the way I use them varies: I can only write academic papers in English—doing it in the other two would feel uncomfortable. I have a pretty strong Yorkshire accent in English, a slightly foreign-sounding Italian, and a regional Croatian that often makes people chuckle because I still speak a version of the language from before Yugoslavia broke up (if you know, you know).
I’ve always been hyper-aware—probably made hyper-aware—of my linguistic identity, but never really struggled with my cultural one. I feel like I belong to all three countries… and to none of them at the same time.
As an adult, I moved to Italy to teach English, but I feel a slightly deeper emotional connection to the Croatian side of my family. My manners and sense of humour are definitely more British, but deep down, my core is Mediterranean.
I’m also quite idealistic about Europe—I feel genuinely European (as corny as it sounds) and very much at home wherever I go on the continent. That’s why Brexit hit me so hard. It still does, to be honest—I haven’t fully come to terms with it.
One thing I really appreciate about my personal European identity is that it’s what I’d call a “weak” identity, in a positive sense. It’s made me allergic to nationalism, jingoism, and imperialism, and I’m genuinely happy about that.