Hi all, just please if you can read, I’m getting desperate and need some advice (M26)
TLDR: My brother is cheating on his wife with our coworker also married and I don’t know what to do
My brother D (M52) has been with his wife A (F51) for the whole of my life. He is not my brother, but actually my cousin my family adopted, but his wife basically helped raising me during my childhood. They have one daughter (F19) and she’s basically a sister to me.
I work for my brother in our family business and have become friends with multiple of our coworkers and consider them good friends. One of them is L (F36), L is married and has two kids. Her husband also works with us and they look like a great couple from the surface. Me and L are very close and I personally share a good friendship with her out of all my other coworkers.
Recently, I was a little suspicious of D as he is not the best husband and constantly is always late to work or lying about where is. I started to go through his phone and was surprised to find that L has been messaging D a lot. As i read the text messages, it is clear that the two of them have been meeting up and having an affair. Lots of sexual messages and meet up locations, and one time I went and saw L on her way to meetup with D.
I was devasted upon realizing what was happening, but not due to my brother, but because of L’s affair. I always knew deep down my brother was cheating, but to learn with L it shook me to my core. I couldn’t function or process anything, it was like view of the world had crumbled. L seems to have such a perfect life with a loving husband and 2 great kids. Finding out she’s throwing that all away for my brother, i just don’t understand it. What’s worse is that I have known for maybe 2 months now, and it all seems hopeless. Everyday I just question how she could throw it all away and how she doesn’t seem to even show any guilt or remorse for her actions.
Now that I know, I realize that L has been using me to get information about D since he is my boss. She has been using our conversations to figure out times for them to meet and as an excuse to leave her house to come meet us as we work late in the night. Just today, I was her excuse for her to come and meet him so they can do things in our parking garage. I’m just feeling sick and used by the both of them and just so lost.
I want to tell both L & D partners, but I feel guilty destroying two families. I don’t want that pressure on me and it would also destroy my family business, which my plan in the future was to take over. I’m just so lost on what to do. Now that I know, I can’t get it out my head or move on, just everyday I feel like a husk of a person.
If anyone could just give some advice or help me find out what to do, I’m slowly losing my mind. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s lives, but i feel I’m ruining my own life cause of this.
Thanks