I have a crush on my closest friend. We’ve only been hanging out consistently for about two months now; we have been going to parties and spending a lot of time together outside of the friend group. I go over to his house a lot to watch his band practice and I know his family now. We are really comfortable with each other and share a lot of private things about our lives.
I am transgender (ftm). I don’t think he’s into men, ftm or not, but he knows that I am ftm and into men. Sometimes he does things that makes me think he might be interested in me, but these things only happen when he’s been drinking. (He’s kissed me on the hand, pulled me close to him by the waist, and people have asked me if we were dating before).
I’m afraid that asking about his sexuality will raise suspicion that I might be interested in him. I really don’t want to make him uncomfortable. I fear that if he knew, it would make him feel like l’ve only gotten close to him because I like him.
Maybe I’m overthinking, but I really value him as a friend and individual above all else. I don’t want to come across as if the friendship we have built is not genuine; it truly has been for me and I care for him a lot.
My question is: How would you go about finding out if he’s interested in someone like me without causing strain in our relationship?
Or just want are your thoughts on the situation in general? I feel like l’ve been too much in my head and I need to talk it out. Feel free to ask any questions or clarifications
TL;DR: I like my best friend but I’m concerned I will ruin our friendship if he finds out and I don’t want to hurt him.