I’ve \[M28\] known my friend “Markus” \[M28\] for 10+ years. As I reflect back, Markus and I were close. In the last 5 or so years, Markus has been pulling away.
So last weekend was our Christmas party and Markus just said hello and asked how my engagement and such was going. I told him and he walked away and started laughing and joking with the other guys. I didn’t know why he was treating me differently.
My brother \[M24\] is a close friend with Markus so I asked him what Markus’s deal was. My brother hit me with a ton of bricks- “Markus doesn’t consider you as a friend anymore”.
Then my brother unloaded on me-
Him: “Was Markus there when your previous engagement fell apart?”
Me: “Yes”
Him: “When was the last time you talked to him?”
I checked my messages. Last message was from Markus back in November asking if I wanted to go to the game. I remember reading it but I guess I forgot to respond.
Him: “When’s the last time you reached out to Markus?”
Him: “Long story short, Markus told me that he had enough of your negligence. If you don’t consider him a friend, he said it cuts both ways and you’re just an acquaintance by association.”
I tried reaching out to Markus to apologize but he’s pretty much blocked me on everything. What can I do at this point to salvage whatever is left of our friendship?
TL;DR- was unknowingly neglecting a friend. Now this friend wants nothing to do with me and it cutting me out of his life.
What can I do to salvage whatever is left of our friendship?
UPDATE:
At the advice of one commenter, I did email Markus as a Hail Mary. I apologized and asked what I could have done. Markus’s answer was not good-
“Just note, I’m only answering this so you’ll leave your brother alone. You were there for me when <his ex> was <the a word> me and helped me through my breakup. For that I will always appreciate that. I will remember the past adventures we had.
I’m not blaming this new friend group for where you fell short but I knew that you were phasing us out when we went on that trip and you were on the phone with them half the fucking time. But it was the sunk-cost fallacy for me and I thought it was the shine of a new friendship so I left it alone.
Then <my ex> came along and you vanished. You know we used to joke and make bets of whether or not you’d show up. You simply didn’t.
When she left, I was there for you in a second. Did you know I was seeing <his then> girlfriend that day after not seeing her for 2 weeks? Not even for a second did abandoning you cross my mind.
Friendship cuts both ways. It looks like you chose your new friend group. It’s not my place to say but <our other close friend> has already phased you out. He doesn’t bother asking if you’re coming any more. None of us do. The only reason you know about these things is your brother. I honestly don’t think you’d give a fuck if we never asked.
I hope nothing bad happens between you and <my fiancee>. Unlike last time you had a devastating breakup, we were there. This time, we won’t.
Markus”