Dodged a kiss from my crush and I don’t know how to feel

I met this girl through my friend group and when I first saw her I swear to god she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid my eyes on, I was too afraid to speak to her at first but as we started getting more comfortable it got easier later on. I spoke about her to my friends and they told me some pretty disappointing news that she had a boyfriend and I was like damn well ok

So we still hangout, the whole group and one random guys tries to ask her out and she tells him she’s in a serious relationship and in my head I’m like well that confirms it, let me stop thinking about her like that and I continue to start looking at her just as a friend well until one thing happens

This was like a week ago and I still remember it clearly, we were in my friends apartment sitting down talking about bullshit, this was actually the first time I spoke to her this close, so while we’re talking her beautiful face puts me in a trance and I don’t say anything for like a couple seconds, she stops talking too and we kind of stare at each other and that’s when it happens, I couldn’t believe my eyes but she goes in for the kiss and it feels like I’m having a million thoughts a second, I start leaning in too but I remember how much she says she loves her boyfriend and the guilt overwhelms me so I move my face to the side and say “woah I really need the bathroom”

After that it feels pretty awkward and the rest of the day is like that but the next day while the group is all walking together again I talk to her in private and tell her that “I’m sorry for what happened before, I don’t know your boyfriend but I know how much you love the guy so I didn’t want to ruin that” she tells me she’s actually really grateful that I did that and that she really didn’t know what happened back there and we laugh about it

But man I sure do feel a type of way but it was probably for the best